The General Motors Domestic Football Thread. 21/22 (NO SHIT BANTER)

[Carbomb]

On 5/20/2022 at 11:56 AM, PunkStep said:

And then you have flares. When did these suddenly appear?? I have barely seen any in this country until a couple of months ago, where almost every game results with flares thrown into the pitch. Couple this with the awful crowd problems at the Euros final and things are going backwards over here again. You can have a great atmosphere without being cunts, just look at the Bundesliga. 

In some ways I'm surprised they haven't appeared sooner; I remember Galatasaray fans using them in the early 90s.

[Frankie Crisp]

We’re at the end of the campaign, so time to have a look at our respective seasons. Copy and paste friendly:

Player of the season: 

Goal of the season:

Best performance:

Worst performance:

Worst player:

One to watch:

Highlight:

Mine?

Player of the season:  Marc Guehi. I’m romantically confused over Conor Gallagher, but Guehi has been incredible all year. England captain in waiting, but I’ll like him until then.

Goal of the season: for the first time in a long time, we were spoilt. Wilf against Norwich and Watford are obvious, as is Gallagher against Everton when he hit top bins. But it’s Gallagher against Brighton. The best team goal anyone’s scored in the league this season. Joel Ward was on the gear, I swear.

Best performance: we‘ve turned up in games we had no right to - Man. City away, Spurs and Arsenal at home and even in defeat, Liverpool away. But the first half at Wolves away was insane. We completely took the piss. 

Worst performance: a rarity, but we’ve never been been awful this season. Games we lost but should have won? Of course. But no glaringly obvious shitters. 

Worst player: Joel Ward. Then, now, forever.

One to watch: Eberichi Eze. Michael Olise understandably gets the credit when he’s on form, but now Ez is fully fit and CG is heading back to Chelsea, he’s going to be the main man next season.

Highlight: the cup run is the obvious one; we had so many good days (Millwall away was hilarious) and that Everton humiliation was so funny. Beating Man. City in their yard was also brilliant. But, whilst it was nothing in the grand scheme of things, beating Spurs at home meant the world. My good mates who I hadn’t seen for nearly 2 years were around, so seeing Eddy score two goals with pretty much his first touches in English football then getting friendly drunk with them was beautiful.

Home and away, I’ve missed 5 games this season and that was down to getting Covid. It’s weird that we’ll finish in our usual spot but it’s a new gang, they’re getting used to each other and when we’re on form we play gorgeous football. It’s a good time to be a Palace fan. And Vieira should have chinned that soft get on Thursday.

Edited May 22, 2022 by Frankie Crisp

[Devon Malcolm]

35 minutes ago, Frankie Crisp said:

We’re at the end of the campaign, so time to have a look at our respective seasons.

[Wretch]

Player of the season: A genuinely tough one this year but I’m going for Brennan Johnson. The local boy done good. Deemed not good enough for Championship football by Chris Hughton, he’s delighted us on the Trent this year with his breakneck speed and a flurry of goals. Brentford were sniffing around him in January with a reported £18 million offer. If we don’t get promoted then he’s off for even more than that I’d wager.

Goal of the season: Big Jack Colback says he meant it and I believe him.

Best performance: Spoilt for choice this season but hammering Leicester 4-1 at home in the FA Cup. Three nil up after a half hour against the cup holders was a surreal WTF is happening moment.

Worst performance: Any one of our first seven league games tbh. Took just a single point from our opponents in that time which makes our current position all the more remarkable. I’d go with Blackburn at home last Aug I think it was, just before Hughton got the sack. A genuinely scary atmosphere in C block that night, amazed CH wasn’t chucked off Trent bridge.

Worst player: I’ll give it to Cafu, though labelling him as worst in a season of phenomenal performances is a bit harsh. Overrated is probably more apt.

One to watch: He’s on loan from Middlesbrough, but everyone will know of Djed Spence in a few years time.

Highlight: Obvious answer is the penalty shootout Tuesday gone to secure our play off final place at Wembley, but whatever happens next Sunday I’ll never forget our FA Cup run. Dumping Arsenal out (again) which is always a joy, thrashing the current holders and making it all the way to the quarters against Liverpool. We lost of course but gave them a real run for their money. The only team to have taken three points off us at home in 2022 and that’s not a bad record at all is it?

[CleetusVanDamme]

Player of the season: Thiago Silva. The guy's immortal and still rarely puts a foot wrong. Mount had a couple of really off months (I blame the crap hair he was sporting at that time), but he's quietly started working towards producing impressive numbers (29 goals/assists), The Cobham Cafu's been great when fit, too.

Goal of the season: Rudi v Brentford. Shame it was like the Makelele wondergoal v Spurs and was so good it turned the world upside down and we got rekt. Kova v Liverpool and Ziyech v Spurs were keepers as well.

Best performance: Bernabeu. Went down swinging under ridiculous pressure at a place where it's easy enough to piss your pants (see City and PSG) under normal circumstances.

Worst performance: The City games. A load of  our worst performances are self-inflicted (see the first leg against Real), individual errors and not being able to finish have been common, City just strangled the life out of us, especially the first game.

Worst player: Saul Honkiez. Feels harsh throwing a loanee for depth under the bus, but literally the only games where he wasn't the worst player on the park were against lower league opposition. Lukaku's an obvious flop and I'll be glad to see the back of no pubes Christensen and hopefully Werner as well.

One to watch: I don't really think there's anyone in the current squad going under the radar/just about to explode. Colwill, Broja and Gallagher might sort that out pretty quickly though!

Highlight: Chelsea's 117 year odyssey coming true. So many times they went so close, year after year, mile after mile, continent after continent, but they never gave up, they never gave up, finally, finally, BY GOD FINALLY Chelsea became the heavyweight champions of this world!

 

[PunkStep]

Player of the season: I'll go with Martin Odegaard. Saka had a very good season, but Odegaard for me became the key component to our side. The way he finds and creates spaces in tight spaces reminds me of Cazorla. Smith Rowe was my player of the first half of the season, but he picked up a few knocks and then was second fiddle to Odegaard and Martinelli for the rest of the season. 

Goal of the season: Martinelli VS Newcastle 

Best performance: VS Spurs at Emirates. That result kick started our season after a poor start and it was a very controlled performance. The result against Chelsea was brilliant but it was quite a scrappy game. I thought we had a really good game against City midway through the season and deserved a result there. 

Worst performance: Either of the last two games. Take your pick. 

Worst player: Aubameyang was tripe before he left, but he's gone so I'll exclude him. Cedric probably in that case. Tavares got worse as the season progressed but can be fun to watch going forward. 

One to watch: Assuming we keep him, a lot of eyes will be on Saliba next season. White and Gabriel have formed a very good partnership at the back but Saliba is fresh from winning Ligue 1 young player of the year and a large section of the fanbase will have Arteta's head on a spike if he doesn't get a chance next season. 

Highlight: Saka's penalty against Chelsea to seal the game, his first penalty after the Euros final. I fucking love him. 

[RIDDUM_N_STYLE]

Player of the season: Jordon Pickford with a close second mention for Alex Iwobi

Goal of the season: considering how shite we’ve been, we’ve scored a fair few bangers, Townsend v Burnley, Gray v Arsenal and Richarlison v Norwich but for sheer emotion, it’s got to be DCL v Palace on Thursday, the type of header Andy Gray would have been proud of

Best performance: Chelsea away, squad hit with injuries and COVID, everyone expecting a hefty defeat and we somehow got a deserved point

Worst performance: both games v Watford, one we shouldn’t have lost from 2-1 up, the other we didn’t have the urgency to beat them with half a team out

Worst player: Jon Joe Kenny

One to watch: Anthony Gordon

Highlight: Thursday night without question, from utter despair at half time to sheer delirium at full time

 

[SaitoRyo]

Player of the season: Joelinton. Remarkable turn around in form, going from derided 'flop' striker to one of the best midfielders in the league. 

Goal of the season: Miguel Almiron against Crystal Palace at home. Tremendous assist from Bruno, great pace and strength by Miggy followed by a top corner finish. Won the game, too. 

Best performance: There have been some really good ones under Howe, but we looked like a proper team doing Arsenal this past Monday. Very encouraging signs for next season.

Worst performance: There were some really bad ones under Bruce, but the home 3-0 loss at home to Chelsea stands out as one of the worse ones. There were some drubbings under Howe initially, too, but he managed to turn it around once he'd had time to work on the squad and implement his own ideas. 

Worst player: Ciaran Clark. Championship-quality player who never looks up for it. He also got that ridiculous red card about eight minutes into a then-crucial home game against Norwich. Liability. 

One to watch: Bruno Guimaraes. What a piece of business he has been. Someone to build the team around going forward. 

Highlight: End of the Mike Ashley era/finally getting rid of Bruce and bringing in Eddie Howe. Also pretty incredible that we managed to survive and get comfortably mid-table, considering the position we were in when Howe came in. January signings helped, yes, but we were without Callum Wilson for basically all of our good run and Trippier got injured a few games in. The others we signed, like Dan Burn, Chris Wood and Matt Targett (on loan) were hardly bank-breaking superstar signings. 

[air_raid]

Kudos to BBC for keeping “tussle” alive.

[King Mal the Glorious]

3 hours ago, SaitoRyo said:

Player of the season: Joelinton. Remarkable turn around in form, going from derided 'flop' striker to one of the best midfielders in the league. 

Goal of the season: Miguel Almiron against Crystal Palace at home. Tremendous assist from Bruno, great pace and strength by Miggy followed by a top corner finish. Won the game, too. 

Best performance: There have been some really good ones under Howe, but we looked like a proper team doing Arsenal this past Monday. Very encouraging signs for next season.

Worst performance: There were some really bad ones under Bruce, but the home 3-0 loss at home to Chelsea stands out as one of the worse ones. There were some drubbings under Howe initially, too, but he managed to turn it around once he'd had time to work on the squad and implement his own ideas. 

Worst player: Ciaran Clark. Championship-quality player who never looks up for it. He also got that ridiculous red card about eight minutes into a then-crucial home game against Norwich. Liability. 

One to watch: Bruno Guimaraes. What a piece of business he has been. Someone to build the team around going forward. 

Highlight: End of the Mike Ashley era/finally getting rid of Bruce and bringing in Eddie Howe. Also pretty incredible that we managed to survive and get comfortably mid-table, considering the position we were in when Howe came in. January signings helped, yes, but we were without Callum Wilson for basically all of our good run and Trippier got injured a few games in. The others we signed, like Dan Burn, Chris Wood and Matt Targett (on loan) were hardly bank-breaking superstar signings. 

These are exactly the choices I was going to make, aside from Clark because I had blocked that shitarse from my memory. So I'll go for Lascelles, the defence has improved immeasurably since he stopped getting picked for every game.

[Jazzy G]

Leeds & Burnley have apparently written to the Premier League demanding Everton get punished over breaches of FFP rules over the last few seasons. It's definitely out of their love for the integrity of football, and nothing to do with the fact that they're staring down the barrel of relegation today. They'll get fined. 

https://www.themag.co.uk/2022/05/everton-fearful-after-leeds-and-burnley-submit-letter-of-intent-to-premier-league-newcastle-united/

Edited May 22, 2022 by jazzygeofferz

[Mr_Danger]

7 minutes ago, jazzygeofferz said:

Leeds & urnkey have apparently written to the Premier League demanding Everton get punished over breaches of FFP rules over the last few seasons. It's definitely out of their love for the integrity of football, and nothing to do with the fact that they're staring down the barrel of relegation today. They'll get fined. 

https://www.themag.co.uk/2022/05/everton-fearful-after-leeds-and-burnley-submit-letter-of-intent-to-premier-league-newcastle-united/

That’s my stance too.

Obviously Everton are above board with their accounts and are simultaneously the victims of a systemic conspiracy to send them down and the benefactors of the same systems lax FFP rules. Needn’t worry though, none of this shit stands up to scrutiny outside of sport. 

[Duke]

 

Gonna disagree with Cleets on some of these

Player of the season:  Kovacic, I think. The rest of the team hasn't been consistent but I recall him having a load of good performances. I think there's an argument for Rudiger too. Leave the memories alone

 

Goal of the season: that Kovacic goal. Made all the sweeter by the fact that he's less likely to score than anyone on the pitch, including Mendy.

Best performance: Second leg of the Real Madrid game.

Worst performance: first leg of the real Madrid game. Decent argument could be made for losing 4-1 to Brentford too, I reckon.

Worst player: Ross Barkley. It's probably actually Saul but I feel like he made a more measurable positive impact in a game or two. I regularly forget Barkley plays for Chelsea.

One to watch: Trevor Chalobah could well be set to have an even bigger season next season what with half the team being off. Colwill looks like he'll be looked strongly at too. I'm hoping to see more of CHO next season too, especially if Werner is off.

Highlight: Repeatedly going toe to toe with Liverpool and having some absolute crackers. 4 draws and two sudden death penalty losses. As Tuchel says, the difference is that Liverpool can do it on the regular. Chelsea can't.

 

I really hope Werner doesn't leave. He's better than we're getting out of him and Chelsea are generally a better team when he's playing on the left.

[PunkStep]

1 hour ago, Duke said:

I'm hoping to see more of CHO next season too

Could've said that for the past few seasons too. I don't think he's given enough opportunities, which is surprising given how much Chelsea wanted to keep him when Bayern were sniffing him out. Since then, a few players have leapfrogged him into England contention so it's no wonder he's looking to switch to Ghana. 

[BrodyGraham]

7 hours ago, SaitoRyo said:

Player of the season: Joelinton. Remarkable turn around in form, going from derided 'flop' striker to one of the best midfielders in the league. 

Goal of the season: Miguel Almiron against Crystal Palace at home. Tremendous assist from Bruno, great pace and strength by Miggy followed by a top corner finish. Won the game, too. 

Best performance: There have been some really good ones under Howe, but we looked like a proper team doing Arsenal this past Monday. Very encouraging signs for next season.

Worst performance: There were some really bad ones under Bruce, but the home 3-0 loss at home to Chelsea stands out as one of the worse ones. There were some drubbings under Howe initially, too, but he managed to turn it around once he'd had time to work on the squad and implement his own ideas. 

Worst player: Ciaran Clark. Championship-quality player who never looks up for it. He also got that ridiculous red card about eight minutes into a then-crucial home game against Norwich. Liability. 

One to watch: Bruno Guimaraes. What a piece of business he has been. Someone to build the team around going forward. 

Highlight: End of the Mike Ashley era/finally getting rid of Bruce and bringing in Eddie Howe. Also pretty incredible that we managed to survive and get comfortably mid-table, considering the position we were in when Howe came in. January signings helped, yes, but we were without Callum Wilson for basically all of our good run and Trippier got injured a few games in. The others we signed, like Dan Burn, Chris Wood and Matt Targett (on loan) were hardly bank-breaking superstar signings. 

Hard to disagree with any of that really. There's such a lot to enjoy about being a Newcastle supporter at the moment, hand wringing over the ownership aside.

One interesting highlight for me, which cuts across a couple of the things that you mentioned, was Ciaran Clark's sending of against Norwich. It's weird to think of one of your players getting red carded as a highlight, but it was the impetus for Joelinton getting moved into the midfield enforcer role where he's excelled. It also basically put a full stop on Clark's time in our XI.