Eating things incorrectly

[PowerButchi]

7 hours ago, Mr_Danger said:

I used to dip toast in tea as well but that's not uncommon is it?

I do that as well. Must a be "round here" thing.

[PunkStep]

Leaving milk overnight? That shit will make you ill won't it?

[deathrey]

I used to break up Maryland Chocolate Chip cookies and put them in a bowl with milk and eat them like cereal

[JNLister]

I'll happily munch on a sheet of raw noodles.

[Lion_of_the_Midlands]

2 hours ago, FelatioLips said:

Who has time to cut fucking toast? 

Some folks have time to cut it wrong! 

[Onyx2]

11 hours ago, thicko said:

When we were kids my sister and I were often given Weetabix for breakfast. 

Straight out of the packet, lathered in butter. That’s how we were brought up to believe Weetabix should be eaten. 

I'm the same. I can't fathom eating them with milk at all now, it's so ingrained. 

I put it down to the Weetabix commercials of the early 80s - all those cartoon bisks fucking about. Brian, KO etc were never shown being eaten for obvious reasons. No serving suggestion offered! 

[Sergio Mendacious]

2 hours ago, JNLister said:

I'll happily munch on a sheet of raw noodles.

Fucking hell, we're getting down to the dregs here. Someone's going to admit to buttering a pie and then shaking the toaster crumbs on top of it.

[King Pitcos]

6 hours ago, scratchdj said:

The first time I met my wife’s best friend’s other half, he ordered the “gourmet burger”. The minute it got delivered to the table, he cut in half with his knife. I’ve hated him ever since.

There’s a reason burgers are round and fit in the hands.

I’ve posted this before, but I can’t eat burgers the normal way. If it’s McDonalds I can, and I think Burger King is alright, but beyond that, I’m taking the fuckers apart and eating them with a knife and fork. I’ve recently discovered (well, the dentist told me) I’ve got an abnormally small mouth. When I try to eat a burger like a burger and it’s taller than it is wide and held together by a wooden stick poked down through its middle rather than by gravity and condiments, I can get some bites at the outside - though I’ll make a right mess squeezing it down to fit in my little gob. But after that first bite at the edge, it falls apart and I’m picking up the cutlery.

[PowerButchi]

2 hours ago, Sergio Mendacious said:

Someone's going to admit to buttering a pie

Fuck all wrong with pie bap.

[BigJag]

11 hours ago, deathrey said:

I used to break up Maryland Chocolate Chip cookies and put them in a bowl with milk and eat them like cereal

That actually sounds pretty delicious. There's a Cookie Crisp cereal available. Has a wolf on the box. I always find it a bit insipid.

When I was younger and we'd go to the seaside with a picnic. The sandwiches would be left on the cars parcel shelf. Allowing the blazing hot sun to do its work. The grated Red Leicester would get to a not quite melted yet still gooey state. 

Whilst playing the latest arcade game at the local chippy. One of the lads who was waiting for his turn, ordered a samosa cob. It caused us to stop playing the arcade machine for a few seconds. Whilst we tried to comprehend the order.

[Accident Prone]

I swear I saw an episode of Secret Eaters once where a guy bought a pukka pie, chucked a pot noodle on top and then sandwiched it inbetween two slices of toastie thick bread. Genius/repulsive.

[Devon Malcolm]

Pretty sure that was Butch.

[Chest Rockwell]

13 hours ago, scratchdj said:

The first time I met my wife’s best friend’s other half, he ordered the “gourmet burger”. The minute it got delivered to the table, he cut in half with his knife. I’ve hated him ever since. 

Chopping it up into pieces would be really strange, but one cut down the middle and then eat with hands is actually a really good way to make an over-stuffed burger with poor structural integrity easier to eat such that you can actually put the fucker down to have some fries without it falling apart.

I saw Gordon Ramsey do it once on kitchen nightmares and thought I'd give it a go and have been sold on that technique ever since.

Whilst we're on the topic, not enough people consider structural integrity highly enough when making or rating burgers. It's a real oversight.

[David]

16 hours ago, Devon Malcolm said:

@David - did nobody tell them that a spoon would have made more sense (although still insane) so they could at least have spooned up the jam?

When you see someone eating a jam doughnut with a knife and fork you leave well enough alone and continue on your way.

[Carbomb]

I've seen people put orange juice instead of milk on their cereal. 

Also, a few years ago I saw this Fat Farm-type reality show (don't remember the actual title) in which they showed the eating habits of the contestants beforehand. They showed one of them, an attractive Scottish woman who said she wanted to lose weight so she could become a glamour model, going into a chippy and ordering a deep-fried Mars Bar, and then proceeding to put ketchup, mustard and mayonnaise on the fucking thing.