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Gus Mears

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Gus Mears last won the day on September 23

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About Gus Mears

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    The Outer Reaches of Your Arse

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  1. The Cricket Thread

    Yeah, not sure what anyone has seen in Westley to justify him playing in Australia in what is ostensibly the position where you put your best bat. Suppose he hasn't been there that long, which hardly inspires. Looked vaguely decent in his first test and has hurtled backwards since that point. I absolutely love Mo. He seems such a nice bloke too, especially when compared to the similarly excellent Stokes.

    Smothering stuff in chocolate is pure gimmick and not actual #EATCLEAN . If you were planning on serving the pickled onions in with a Mr Brain's faggots and gravy and then grating half a block of cheddar on top, it would be far more impressive.
  3. The Cricket Thread

    Finn is a bell and would be utterly undeserving of getting on the plane. He's been shite all summer and puts in one shift to fucking well relegate my club. Tosser. Ballance will be there, Butch. I'm pretty sure about it. When the nuclear apocalypse comes, the only things left will be cockroaches and rumours of Gary Ballance getting another England test call up. For the upteenth time, best we've got is Root putting team before personal preference and playing 3. If we have to put Wanker Ballance in, better at 4 or 5, considering he basically can't be bothered to learn how to change technique against test quality quicks. I know I have mentioned this before, but it encapsulates why Ballance is a bang average player and Cook is great. When Cook had that technical fault where he kept edging outside off stump, he netted every damn day with Gooch, tried his best to improve and change, while captaining his country. He managed it in the end and got back in form. Ballance refuses to accept his problem, doesn't do the additional work and scores hatfulls against plodders and Kolpaks. He will never be a great test player. Whatever way we slice this,we don't have the players to win the Ashes barring a lot of good fortune. My problem with TRJ is that I think he would have been murderded in Australian conditions. Tennis Court pitches and Roland-Jones ambling in to pitch it up with the beach ball sounds suicidal.
  4. Pranks, japes and wanton cruelty to your friends

    My friend is now a finalist in the Vanarama Van Hero of the Year Award. He doesnt drive. They are trying to get him to attend an awards ceremony somehere near Silverstone. Shall update with full details when home from holiday, but suffice to say I'm astonished the fine people at Vanarama bought my Herculean tale of van bravery, which included my friend digging his van out of ten foot of snow to deliver Christmas turkeys.
  5. Bobby Heenan Passes Away

    The best colour commentator in wrestling history. Probably the best manager as well. I don't think anybody got pro wrestling like Heenan did. Everything he did was had the defined end purpose or entertaining the crowd. For every bit of razor sharp wit, one of the things that always impressed me so much about the Brain was his brilliance at showing arse. If Heenan hasn't have found wrestling I have no doubts he would have been a successful comedian or actor of some kind. He was that good. A wonderful and unique talent that was light years beyond almost all of his peers. Heenan had a genius wit, not in wrestling terms , in an absolute sense. One of the true greats.
  6. The Cricket Thread

    Cook Hameed Livingstone Root Stokes Bairstow Ali Woakes Broad Leach Anderson As starting eleven Wood Coverton Rashid Malan Stoneman Foakes On the plane and carrying drinks Yeah, no chance of that happening and I'm forcing Leach into the line up because he's Somerset and amazing. In the real world, I would get rid of Leach and put Rashid in before Broad in that line up
  7. General Adnan's Football 17/18

    Hopefully that's the last that I ever have to see of bollock face managing in this country. Sincerely hope he fucks off to dine on Middle Eastern blood money again, as opposed to shitting up the telly with even more useless punditry than his son produces.
  8. The Cricket Thread

    Big news in the County Championship today as Essex won the title for the first time since 1992 Somerset may well have climbed out of the relegation places for the first time in about four months. I'm going to be at the final game against Middlesex, which may well decide our mutual fates. Would love to send them down after the contrived declaration last year (which we probably would have done too, but partisanship).
  9. General Adnan's Football 17/18

    Branquey must be delighted. Having been in the beautiful and quite sleepy city of Cologne earlier in the year, I find it hard to marry that with the parade of utter nutcases they seem to have brought to London this evening.
  10. Pranks, japes and wanton cruelty to your friends

    Nah, haven't seen that before. Will take a look, but honestly tend to just wing these things.
  11. Pranks, japes and wanton cruelty to your friends

    Few more days of curtains to go. Then the carpets begin arriving.
  12. General Adnan's Football 17/18

    Solid performance against some turd opppsition. If you get the chance, catch the Zappacosta goal, bombs it the entire length of the pitch then absolutely thumps an attempted cross over the keeper from the touchline. Frankly, second best part of the evening was Roma and Athletico boring their way to a 0-0. Added bonus of changing over and seeing Hitman Rodgers looking like he wanted to cry as the PSG game ended.
  13. General Adnan's Football 17/18

    I always have a nagging regard for people who get paid shit loads to be terrible at their job, so I can't hate Winston. Whole saga sounded like some awful sitcom from the 90's that got cancelled after 5 episodes, 'Dennis Waterman is an out of luck bin man who one day wakes up to find that he has been accidentally signed by Chelsea. Little do they know that he can't play football and drinks fiteen cans of Boddingtons every evening'.
  14. Doomed anecdotal megathread #2

    Fucking hell, that must be a right shock when you get back home.
  15. Doomed anecdotal megathread #2

    Every thread is improved due to pictures of animals.