Minor Annoyances (Vol 2)

[Tamura]

Self-assembly furniture instructions. "screw holes and screw with screw and screw"???!?

[hallicks]

…and where’s the cue ball going?

[Devon Malcolm]

24 minutes ago, Tamura said:

Self-assembly furniture instructions. "screw holes and screw with screw and screw"???!?

Reminds me of that old Xzibit meme.

[ReturnOfTheMack]

25 minutes ago, Tamura said:

Self-assembly furniture instructions. "screw holes and screw with screw and screw"???!?

I wonder what the screw involved.

[SuperBacon]

33 minutes ago, Tamura said:

Self-assembly furniture instructions. "screw holes and screw with screw and screw"???!?

This is hilarious and this is a bad translation I reckon, but I love the informal way that starts. "Screw the screw basically" like Dave the chippy down the pub is giving you the instructions. 

[Gus Mears]

"And that's why I screwed the screw out of your screw."

 

[SuperBacon]

The Montreal Screwscrewscrewjob

[Lorne Malvo]

One of my colleagues (who annoys me anyway owing to the fact he never shuts up, and constantly shows me shit Tiktoks every fucking day despite me never having laughed at one) has replaced his office keyboard with a really noisy gaming keyboard, so not only do I have to listen to him drone on in minute detail about what he had for tea last night or how bad the traffic was this morning, I also have to spend all day listening to CLACKA-CLACKA-CLACKA like some idiot kid playing armies while I'm trying to work.

[SuperBacon]

I would be so passive aggressive in this situation.

Might even fire off an anonymous grievance to HR about it. Fuck em. 

[Lorne Malvo]

1 hour ago, SuperBacon said:

Might even fire off an anonymous grievance to HR about it. Fuck em. 

Unfortunately I work for a very small company (only ever 5-7 employees at any one time) so there's no HR department and to make matters worse, said colleague is the owners son. So any complaints would fall on deaf ears.

I'll just continue getting my own back by taking in tinned fish everyday which they both hate the smell of. 

[SuperBacon]

6 minutes ago, Lorne Malvo said:

Unfortunately I work for a very small company (only ever 5-7 employees at any one time) so there's no HR department and to make matters worse, said colleague is the owners son. So any complaints would fall on deaf ears.

I'll just continue getting my own back by taking in tinned fish everyday which they both hate the smell of. 

Cut to a years time and you're posting me a voice note, sorry a 'voicey' that starts "Honestly Rashers, this focking little kidney bean headed cunt" ?

[BomberPat]

when I worked in a call centre, for a while my desk was next to the boss' son's. He was an alright lad, and sometimes a good laugh, but he knew he could get away with things that us lowly temps couldn't, which sometimes was fun when it was stuff like him introducing himself with different made-up names to customers, or playing the game of trying to crowbar different words into each call, but was frustrating when it was more him slacking off during busy times. 

My usual way of getting my own back on him was that every time he left his desk, he never locked his computer, so I would take a screenshot of whatever was on his screen, minimise every window, and then set that screenshot as his desktop wallpaper. 

[King Coconut]

Classic! I used to enter the wrong password three times.

[Chest Rockwell]

13 hours ago, Lorne Malvo said:

 

I'll just continue getting my own back by taking in tinned fish everyday which they both hate the smell of. 

I misread this at first and thought you also hated the smell of the fish but were eating it just to spite them, which would have been great.

[Dead Mike]

58 minutes ago, BomberPat said:

 

My usual way of getting my own back on him was that every time he left his desk, he never locked his computer, so I would take a screenshot of whatever was on his screen, minimise every window, and then set that screenshot as his desktop wallpaper. 

This reminds me jokes we used to play on each other at my first job in a call centre to make the job slightly bearable. Turning the contrast down on a monitor so the person would think their screen was goosed and get someone from IT down. Opening a blank email on their screen and plugging your keyboard into their PC and typing messages to them seemingly automatically when they sat down. The best (before they changed it so it was done centrally by IT) would be to change the name on their desk phone. When someone rang you it'd show their name and extension on your phone. We'd always change it to something innocent (Michael J Fox, Peter Beardsley, Dustin Gee etc). When they came back from the loo there'd be a post-it asking them to call back a senior manager only for said person to get a confused call from 'Bernie Clifton'. Grrrr great days.