Lorne Malvo

Scoop - The interview part was very entertaining and the makeup effects on Sewell and Anderson are incredible, but when the original interview exists and is readily available, I'm not really sure we need a dramatization of it? It was decent enough, anyway. Kong x Godzilla: The New Empire - This is such a weird, inconsistent franchise and this movie pretty much sums that up. Everything to do with Kong and/or Dan Stevens was wildly entertaining, everything to do with Rebecca Hall and her daughter was quite boring and I veered between entertained and bored from scene to scene. I love Brian Tyree Henry but his role in these movies makes my teeth itch, just the absolute worst 'comic relief'. That's all I managed to catch this week. Had that Really Bad Shits bug going around so the only thing I've been watching is the bathroom wall. Hoping to finally catch Immaculate and a few others next week!

As in Alf Stewart Home & Away? Because if so, I'm instantly sold.

Only the bog-standard template kits for Sunday league teams and the like - I don't fuck with your replica Ajax shit.

I'm getting increasingly infuriated with people treating emails like Whatsapp. Just for context, I work for a football kit supplier so the majority of my emails are from customers giving me details on sponsor logos/badges/sizes/squad numbers etc etc. It's quite common now for me to receive emails in quick succession like this; "I need 14 football tops" "Actually 15 lol" "Shorts aswell" "Nike please" "Number 6 has to be a large" "Actually make it an XL" And repeat this process for discussing how the badge should look, how the sponsor should look, etc. It is so fucking frustrating. It's not that hard to compile everything you want into one document then send it over in one go! I think 12 years of working here may be taking its toll.

Thanks Cool Hand, Lornes crying. Didn't expect to get teary-eyed watching Rampage but here we are!

"Alright?"

Monkey Man - A fine addition to the John Wick-esque genre with enough of Dev Patel's personality in it to stand out from the Wick clones. Wouldn't mind a few more of these. Still think Nobody is my absolute favourite of this particular sub-genre but Monkey Man isn't far off. Kung Fu Panda 4 - The most consistently 'good' franchise in animation delivers yet another solid entry. Changes the dynamic up from the previous three and is a lot of fun. I think 5 might be stretching it though. Wicked Little Letters - Surprise of the year! I thought this was funny as fuck with some brilliant casting. Had a great time with this. (Side note, Jessie Buckley is very fit in this).

I loved the first 4 as a kid, especially Prisoner of Azkaban and Goblet of Fire. I think the gap between Goblet of Fire and Order Of The Phoenix killed my interest though. The fifth book came out when I was 13 and I thought it was a load of shite - I was moving onto things like Stephen King and more grown-up literature at the time (and the Darren Shan series, which was my personal YA obsession) and Harry Potter had cooled off significantly in my social circle at the time so that may have had a lot to do with it. Never finished the fifth book and never bothered with the rest. I did attempt to re-read them about 10 years ago and got halfway through Chamber of Secrets and gave up. Couldn't be arsed. I'll never bother attempting to read them again because shes a fucking ghoul who needs to find something better to do with her millions.

I hate hate HATE this song. Just the most 'bleugh', doesn't-mean-anything song of all time. Dreadful.

You've got dinner ladies working in the same canteen where people are eating out of lunch boxes. Makes you think, doesn't it?

Showing the All In footage was really fucking stupid. No idea what the point was. Hopefully now it's out of their system and they can just carry on producing good TV. Copeland has been a revelation in AEW. I get a massive kick out of seeing him do things like a headscissors. Him, Briscoe, Kingston and Willow Nightingale is the faction I didn't know I needed. When did his Spear get so good, too? I'm still haunted by his 'running hug to the leg' he used to bust out on 2010 Smackdown. Didn't mind Ospreay having a dig at Triple H at all. His "if you're not in it for the grind, I don't want you" line was such a ridiculously stupid and petty way of deflecting that he didn't land the signing he wanted it deserved a Nelson Muntz-esque 'ha-ha!' But he put on an average Wrestlemania, so we'll let it pass I guess. As shite as Jericho is, I really enjoyed the trios match. Shane Taylor Promotions finally won a match! Shibata and Hook have such a cool energy not even Chris Jericho (who is slowly turning into Krang) can diminish them. Tony Schiavone's 'what a night!' as Mariah May kissed Shirakawa got a hearty chuckle. Dirty old get. Alex Marvez is absolutely shite at everything, but somehow it's adorable. His shouts of 'turn on the lights!!' were hilarious. Good main event. Just your standard Dustin Rhodes high-drama match. Thought the blade job added a lot as Dustin looked like he was struggling for everything out there. A decent Dynamite (other than the obvious 'what the fuck is Tony Khan thinking' moment).

"We never get bored talking about wrestling"? Somebody hasn't seen the ratings thread.