Scratch

I’m more and more convinced that many American parents traveled forward in time and got their kids’ names from Bob Mortimer episodes of Would I Lie to You.

Didn’t know where else to put this, but a clip of Lenny McClean being all hard and that showed upon my Instagram feed this morning. Apart from Lock Stock, I knew nothing about him so headed to Wiki and so found this gem of an edit.

I played drums in a garage band circa 1999. We were called Albino Al Pacino. I couldn’t tell you why.

Final leg of the journey home, a change at a nearby station. The train’s waiting for us, I open the door and get a face full of vape from the bloke standing inside. This didn’t end well for him, put it that way. I’m running on fumes having had no sleep since Saturday night and am now sick to the back teeth of vaping.

We got to MCO in Orlando to fly home yesterday lunchtime and joined the queue to drop our bags. A couple with their little girl (who looked about 8 ) were in front of us with 4 massive suitcases and 2 carry on bags. The bloke immediately left them to it and walked over by the bogs and spent the next 20 minutes openly vaping. Inside an airport. We then watched as his wife and kid struggled over to him with their bags, he just walked empty handed in front of them vaping away. When we got to the gate, there he was, again on his own, clouds of vape billowing from his gob every time the back of anyone official-looking had been turned. When we got onboard, the wife was pleased to find we weren’t sat near him (I wouldn’t have been able to hold my breath had I been sat next to him). We were however sat opposite another bloke who was more than happy to just vape on the fucking plane anyway. He was sat next to two really small kids who hadn’t been seated with their family, but there he was on a plane, vaping away like it was totally fine. As we’d already taken off and the seatbelt sign was on, staff didn’t spot him until about 15 minutes into the flight when they basically told him they would turn back, land and evict him from the flight. It didn’t stop him though, he grabbed more than a few cheeky puffs throughout the flight and was really on it during landing. I might sound like a grumpy sod, but it’s something I despise generally and it’s the kind of stupidity I never thought I’d ever actually see. People in general being cunts like that boil my piss something chronic.

Liverpool probably have the “easiest” final run in, but then they’ve been poor the past few games. If they can pull things together, I can see the other two dropping points between now and the end of the season. It'll be interesting to see what the Liverpool squad looks like when a new manager takes over, I’m not sure Salah will look at the kind of offers likely to come his way and not be tempted - especially with Klopp gone.

Wishing the happiest of birthdays to @Devon Malcolm - one of the genuine good ones 🎂

I’ve seen TV’s Botched and can confirm that yes, sometimes, ears are part of your face. See also anybody that Picasso painted.

Mmm, ah.

UK Fan Forum theme Courtesy of AI-generated music site Suno. Over to you.

Sorry it’s not a photo, but we were at Universal Studios this afternoon having a sit down talking how it would be cool to see RixFlix in the flesh, and he walked past literally as we were talking about him - so we made his live stream. 56min 40sec

Ortis Deley from the Gadget Show not being able to find his boarding pass at Gatwick this morning.

Happy birthday @PunkStep. You’ve made a man you’ve never met who’s feeling pretty chipper due to being on his way to Orlando, suddenly grumpy knowing someone is having a curry tonight. Have some Pakora for me.

If ever you feel down, just know you’re living the life all of us wish we were. Bravo, sir. Bravo 👏

TIL that whilst Whole Nut chocolate bars contain hazelnuts, Fruit and Nut contains almonds.