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Minor Annoyances (Vol 2)


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3 minutes ago, Keith Houchen said:

I remember once at work there was a community workshop for communication skills. This arsehole of a team leader lambasted this young lad under the guise of constructive feedback for starting every answer with “Basically”. The poor lad was on the verge of tears. Later on when she fielded questions from the group, the young lad smiled when I pointed out how she began every single answer with “So”

If you’re going to start an answer with a “So”, make it the Peter Gabriel album. It will give you enough time to formulate a concise response. Join me for more interview tips on my patreon or buy me a coffee at the link below. 

Prefer a Starbucks giftcard

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47 minutes ago, Keith Houchen said:

I remember once at work there was a community workshop for communication skills. This arsehole of a team leader lambasted this young lad under the guise of constructive feedback for starting every answer with “Basically”. The poor lad was on the verge of tears. Later on when she fielded questions from the group, the young lad smiled when I pointed out how she began every single answer with “So”

If you’re going to start an answer with a “So”, make it the Peter Gabriel album. It will give you enough time to formulate a concise response. Join me for more interview tips on my patreon or buy me a coffee at the link below. 

I've had some media training for interviews and managed to get rid of "er" for when I'm doing formal speaking.  It's amazing how much more authoritative you sound if you don't say "er" in every sentence!  

I've also had to work out a way to not touch/pick my nose when lecturing.  My wife came to one of my lectures (poor her) and that was her main note - stop touching your nose!

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7 minutes ago, Chest Rockwell said:

Yeah you shouldn't be sniffing your fingers, we know where they've been....

 

What do you do with you hands instead? I often find myself unsure what to do with mine, generally when I'm in a setting that doesn't allow me to pace around whilst I'm talking. 

Gesture!  I sometimes put one hand in a pocket and gesture with the other, or I put both hands together, or gesture with both.  I have adopted the Johnson thumb point, that's very useful.  If my hand drifts to my face I will divert into a beard stroke which looks thoughtful rather than bogey hungry.

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A friend of mine kindly invited me to do a guest spot on his podcast, and when I played it back, I couldn't help but cringe at the sheer number of times I'd say "y'know" or "sort of, so I started trying to find ways of changing that "placeholder". I'd recently been watching old comedy roasts from the 60s and 70s, and I was quite taken with Jack Benny's enunciation and delivery: he had a tendency to put pauses between phrases for timing and pacing effect. Consequently, I now use (when I remember) pauses instead of anything at all. 

I'm fairly sure my friends hate me even more now, but it feels a lot better.

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I hate the Johnson thumb point. There's something very staged and focus-grouped about it, as if pointing with the index finger has been deemed too judgey, so instead we get a stubby little sausage jabbed at us on the end of a fist - "I'm being authoritative but DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION ME."

In presentations, hands should be in front of you, not flailing out to the sides, and should be used to help visualise what you're describing. I'm in data, so a lot of the time I'm having to describe pretty abstract processes to a set of stakeholders that don't have the technical knowledge; essentially miming how things connect together helps translate things, even if they might not understand the terminology.

I'm also wary of filler phrases. I have to stop myself saying "The most important thing is..." when that's just the next thing on my list, or "Not being funny, but..." just because I'm countering my own point. "So", "and", and "but" are the worst offenders, creating run-on sentences which make your audience tune out because they don't know when you've finished making your current point. I'm teaching myself to take a breath as a full stop, then move onto my next point as a new thing.

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Reminds me about an old job, where we had to do daily meetings to explain our numbers, for the previous day. 

I'm pretty introverted so I used to be super nervous but eventually I settled into a routine of keeping my arms folded until my turn, and just pointed at the numbers while simply stating the facts. 

While talking I was just thinking these are the numbers and these are the reasons for them, don't like them, not my fucking problem.

Funnily enough, I was eventually pulled aside by one of team leaders and praised for how articulate I was. Which made me more uncomfortable than the actual meetings, lol.

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