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Everything posted by CavemanLynn

  1. Signed up in '02. Immediately spoiled the first draft insisting Batista should be Christian's muscle on Smackdown. Tried and failed miserably to argue my way out of my fuck-up and got rightfully banned for a week. I became a man, that day.
  2. Have him spend an entire episode of Dynamite smashing it up. Keep cutting to the back to see Miro absolutely wrecking the thing. Then at the end of the show, once he's finished and exhausted, Eddie strolls up and DDTs him on the bonnet. Muttley laugh to camera. PPV rematch. Honestly though, two pages talking about this car is ridiculous. It was a prop for a silly angle to get Fuego over as a hyped-up babyface, Miro as a horrible bastard, and put Sammy in the running for the belt. It worked a charm. Rest of the show was OK. There's something adorable about the Butcher slightly flubbing and just pushing guys as hard as he can into the floor, but I'm still waiting for that one big move or match where everything comes together for him, because look at him. Cassidy angle was fine, but a guy with a lackadaisical gimmick should not be doing anything resembling a run-in. Hardy could've buzzed that 'fan''s hair clean off by the time Orange got there to 'make the save.' Womens match was better than their average. They're getting their money's worth from those brass knuckles this month, having just come off Blade vs Orange. Baker vs Soho on the mic was incredibly frustrating. Each segment built really well, then they took the low road worked-shoot shit every time. Schoolyard "oh no she did-ent" crap. Good to see Baker make a big thing of hugging Big Tone. Do we think she starts associating with the Elite?
  3. It's been a mixed bag. The debut episode was a fine retelling, and gave me an unhealthy crush on Captain Carter. T'Challa in Space was great, cohesive with the rest of the MCU but still taking enough radical logical turns. The murder mystery and zombie episodes were both shite, while the Dr Strange episode would've been brilliant with another 10-15 minutes. It's watchable and looks fantastic, but it doesn't seem to know who its audience demo is, and the pacing goes to pot because of the time constraints. It might be the anthology element (if it is - being the MCU, everyone's trying to work out how it all fits together or links with the films) but it feels like a series of pilots for series they want to do but don't have the backing or content for yet.
  4. Really good showing for Andrade, really well paced and executed, totally different from the stuttery overstuffed Sydal match. Speaking of stuttery and overstuffed, good riddance to Chavo - he added nothing to the act beyond legacy name value. The fact that Jose attempted the distraction, unseen by Andrade, then ratted out Chavo for interfering, muddied the ending a little bit, especially with Andrade apparently wanting a clean win but happy to feed Chavo to the wolves based on his other man's word. There's a lot of ideas swimming around Andrade, from the tranquilo styles to the Face of Latinos to the Black Mask attire, but it's not really gelling yet. His best character stuff in AEW was as the quiet bilingual superstar with an interpreter, so I hope they return to that more in future. Pretaped and in-ring promos were short and sweet. I'm finding Danielson a bit smug at the moment. Hayter is crap. For as much as they push how strong she is, beyond an Irish Curse backbreajer, she wrestles exactly like Rebel, with the added wince-inducing factor of apparently being unable to protect herself. Last time, it was her dead weight splat taking Velvet's tope, and this week it was taking Riho's 619 straight across the nose. Statlander (who hasn't got anywhere near enough credit for having Britt's best match as champion so far) plays the powerhouse much better. I'm not as familiar with Ruby Soho as others here, and I'm still yet to be won over. Her music fits her look but not her personality or demeanour, and she's not had her big AEW showcase match yet. Main event was a decent hometown feelgood TV main. I liked Bowens cutting off Caster but adding how he was on thin ice. Caster's tights are hilariously shit. Pillman is still green and was clearly a bit overawed, but he stuck the ending and the Cincinatti hometown boys ending was cool. The show still feels inessential so I might start just checking results to see if any matches look interesting, or if anyone on here bigs up particular angles enough to convince me to check them out. It's an easy watch Saturday morning over coffee, though.
  5. It's the raw potential of the basic scenario that makes the sequels so disappointing. Reloaded had some great ideas in terms of action but was perhaps 5 years behind the technological development needed to really execute set-pieces like the burly brawl. They were also in such a rush to rattle off the ideas and exposition that it quickly descended into characters explaining things to each other, with opaque language attempting to mask the fact that no one is actually doing anything. There's no reason for the dialogues involving the Oracle, Smith, and the Architect (jeez) to be so ponderous, but if all you're going to do is have them stand there, there's nothing cinematic for you to do with them; it descends into boring tell-not-show. The end of Reloaded, where Neo fries a machine outside of the Matrix, was enough of a hook to have me coming back for the finale, but I'd've taken any half-baked explanation (Were they still in the Matrix after all? Had Neo's powers evolved in line with the cod-new-age chakra energy line beliefs of the day and allowed him to manipulate the code of life itself? blah blah blah) over the relentless pre-Bayhem mech bin fight we got. The next Matrix could be tremendous, but of course it depends on what Wachowski wants to do with it. I'm intrigued to see if any of the trans themes are genuinely explored this time, as well as to see what the aging cast can do. Although we don't actually jack our brains into a computer, the world of machines, VR and video games has evolved so that the current world actually fells closer to the world of the original trilogy. It'll be fun to see if they integrate modern tech into the Matrix skillset, e.g. mobile phones versus hardlines for getting in and out. The one thing currently missing from the trailer for me is the one big hook, the question or set-piece that makes me think I HAVE to see this. Sad Neo having some fights seems like a neutered John Wick, difference being he'll throw your own bullets back at you. Or, god forbid, we end up with Free Guy but with middle-aged ennui.
  6. The first Matrix is a perfect time capsule for that time period. I think it's easy to forget how big a deal it was, because so many of its elements having become tropes or parodied to fuck. I agree that there's probably been a great deal of retconning and shoehorning of subtext that wasn't in the original, but the world it created was iconic. The central conceit of the film is just a really good sci fi premise (the world's a video game, and you can be and do anything you want if you just believe). The action is still top notch, and as much as the slow mo and bullet time camera spinning might feel cheesy now, the single-take hand to hand exchanges are still incredible. I've seen it a dozen times, but watching Neo realise he can defend himself against Agent Smith with one arm still gives me chills. The subsequent films fell off a fucking cliff, disappearing up their mythology and essentially turning Neo into a plot cipher who achieves nothing, but the world is definitely worth revisiting with newer, older eyes and a different culture. The trailer is clearly playing the hits - 20 years on, I'd expect them to push it like this with a refresher of the bits everyone liked rather than the later stuff. It'll probably be a bit meta, with the idea of aging Neo revisiting his youth. It's all a bit gun- and rocket-heavy, so I wonder how much choreographed one-shot combat we'll actually be seeing from Reeves and the rest. I do like that the world they're in looks and feels more like our own, rather than the flat CGI sandbox that the films very quickly became. So it's definitely got me interested.
  7. Fucking hell. You can't change the emphasis in that phrase without each one sounding more horrendous than the last.
  8. A lot of people assuming, if Bray came in, it'd be as a dark force to take over the Dark Order. But what about if he arrived and the Dark Order chose to bring him into the group, just showering him with positive praise, friendship and hope, so we get comedy powerhouse Bray just enjoying himself for a bit?
  9. Just cue up the closing theme from Buckaroo Banzai and start marching.
  10. That gear looks great, and Lord Kev is obviously a gent. Was it an anniversary or occasion, or just a thing they did?
  11. Mox looks fucking nails at the moment. He seemed to lose a bit of muscle around the Death Match, which I put down to him winding down for a stint at fatherhood. In recent weeks though, he's clearly thought "fuck it" and got on the beers and crap food, and looks tremendous. Just a puffed up, angry, sleep-deprived bear stomping around the place. Them lariats have now got some proper meat behind them. Dad Mox is best Mox.
  12. I think you linked the wrong vid. Here's the full length fan cam I found.
  13. I think it's hard to appreciate it out of context too. Up until that point, WCW were way ahead of WWF in terms of games quality, purely through having AKI at the helm. Their engine was just spot-on for that middle ground between brawler and techy, with proper chunky sprites and weighty physics, whereas WWF were still limping out of the motion-capture Mortal Kombat 2D era with rubber-man efforts like Warzone and Attitude. The early Smackdown games were solid enough gameplay-wise, but still had that textured inflatable-tube-man look and super-grainy visuals especially when they started doing too much with crowd cameras flashes. WWF Wrestlemania 2000 was WCW/NWO Revenge with a WWF roster (no bad thing), and No Mercy was where it reached final form - a perfect mix of arguably their peak roster, the AKI engine hitting top speed, and us hitting the age where dodgy offies were selling us crates. I've been replaying them since I got an off-the-shelf emulation console, and I have to say I actually prefer Wrestlemania 2000. It's slower, and the arena presentation is a bit shonky, but the brighter palette means that it kind of fits nicely across all eras of WWF/E. You can create anyone from any promotion or era and they look like they fit. Not only that but the caricatres actually look like their real-life counterparts - I don't know who was in charge of the face images on No Mercy but they've got this weird blurry look and sunken eyes. Still, Bradshaw's standing Clothesline from Hell looks and sounds murderous, and the knockout animations are still hilarious.
  14. Punk has said this though. He answered Darby's call on his first night back, and name-dropped him since as one of the best new guys in AEW. He added the wrinkle to his follow-up by admitting it was as much about proving he still has what it takes, that he can still 'go.' The intrigue comes from knowing what Darby Allin is in AEW. He's not just a wrestler; he's a daredevil human missile who has shown he can take the worst of beatings and still decide to use his own battered body as a weapon to beat an opponent. CM Punk isn't going into a catch-as-catch-can exhibition to bump the rust off; he's stepping front of a 175lb battering ram backed up by concrete ghost. I think this match will trigger the start of the Punk turn. Face vs face might be enough for the opener, but I think partway through this match, Punk is going to realise he's out of his depth and will get nasty, whether it be straight-up murdering Allin or going after Sting instead. maybe even flash pinfall loss, leading to him laying out Sting and trying to convince Allin to follow him instead. Either way, this first match isn't the be-all and end-all of this return angle. Or it's clean pin, handshake, cheers as we fade to black.
  15. I noticed they were keeping track of Trios records in the CM Punk roster graphic posted earlier. I can see why people might want a Trios title, but, just like every time there seems to be another title on the horizon, I worry it'll dilute the scene and make angles too belt-centric. I'd be up for a one-off tournament for a cup or something, perhaps to give a few weeks of Dark a purpose using a block format leading to a final. There's a chance for a couple of weeks' build too, as the teams form, from the DO choosing their three reps to odd couple teams making alliances. I think there's more storyline meat to be had from tag titles split within teams, or just tag champs being parts of factions. Belt scarcity naturally creates tension. I'll chuck out my annual call for more use of the Freebird Rule here. Imagine a team of three where one is obviously the weak link, putting the belts at risk when they're on the defending team, or one guy on a team eager for solo fame accidentally or deliberately sabotaging defences. Having a Trios title essentially formalises the fun overstuffed multi man gimmick. I don't think audiences are quite ready to accept the NJPW house show model of cards of multi man tags based on talent just rattling off their signatures ending in the champ pinning a non-threat. There's just a lot more they could do than make more belts.
  16. CavemanLynn exists in the Neighbours Cinematic Universe.
  17. CavemanLynn

    Chippy Tea

    UKFF is going to live forever.
  18. It's usually up within a couple of hours on the usual places you can watchwrestling (wink wink), you tube (nudge nudge).
  19. Murphy references this match in his podcast with Renee, as one of the signs he wasn't getting anywhere. He saw this, rightly, as a showcase performance, but nothing came of it. As teen am dram shite as his self-produced vignettes are, I akways thought Buddy in-ring was great, from NXT up to the main roster. Yes, he's a definite product of the WWE system, in that super indie "heavy-cruiserweight" style, so there are a lot of the usual kinks I hate (thigh-slapping, unnecessary super kicks, moveset-based psychology, etc), but there's no denying his athleticism, pacing and look are top notch. He was the Bobby Roode of TNA in NXT. If he actually plays up the Aussie ex-con thing and doesn't just turn up wrestling and looking like he always did, albeit for 20 minutes instead of 10 because "he has so much more to give", then he could be a real asset. Braun is a product of the machine as well, but came in much later than Murphy and got the big WWE push. I could imagine him being like Brock but without the credentials, and I can't see much benefit to the roster or brand having him on board, beyond the initial mild shock. He'll probably be asking for a pretty penny too. Bray is up in the air. Enough has been said about his ratio of good to bad output. Having been integrated/saddled with spooky bollocks for years, a down-to-earth character out of that mind of his could be intriguing, if only to confirm our hopes or fears. Impact seems like the best place for them. Get back in the ring, get the rust off, and get some ideas, then go knocking on the other doors.
  20. I reckon they'll have a playbook of set cuts, because there's no way they're calling them live. Either that or Dunn/the director is hitting the buttons themselves. I'd be surprised if anyone except Dunn and/or Vince is watching the feed, to be honest. There's no point if you're just there to hit a button when told.
  21. When a show isn't more than fine, the bad stuff really drags it down. Last week the sound mix seemed to be mainly crowd noise over music, but this week sounded like the other way around and it hurt the energy of the show a bit, on TV anyway. There were still plenty of people having a blast live, which is great to see. I enjoyed the opener. It makes sense to send out a recognisable name, plus one of your premier gimmick characters who can still ramp up the pace and fire. Really enjoyed the stuff with the money. Some of the spots didn't pay off, like when OC was deliberately rolling away when Matt was cuing up the Twist of Fate. I had flashbacks to the PAC powerbomb when Hardy hit Splash Mountain. Good match. Top marks to their Twitter exchange too, where Matt derided OC for doing dumb shit, only for OC to respond with "Well, guess I'll be doing some dumb shit then." Fast & Furious memes have ruined the term "family." Pillman Jr's kickpads were clearly hiding his Sports Direct boots. He's not looking great. he might be trying to bulk up, but his beard and belly here had shades of the Anvil. Both him and Griff put in a decent shift. My feed cut out the picture in picture stuff, so I don't know if there were more botches than I saw. Just Penta stumbling standing up out of a wheelbarrow to jump into a DDT, which is a fucking stupid move anyway. While you've got Fenix there, I don't know why Penta bothers doing flippy-rolly shit, when he should just be slapping people and giving out piledrivers in between poses. I'd like to see Julia Hart get more involved. Right now, she's more of a mascot and ringside eye candy, which feels like a disservice. Great post-match. The final should be a fun mess. Andrade's charisma cannot overcome Chavo's shitness. He's just a really, really bad fit for a cool, calm, cash-rich Latin star. Listing things he's heard about the first-class lifestyle, when he clearly has no experience of it himself. His cheap suits next to Andrade's tailored masterpieces, but not even tacky like Callis, just ill-fitting and dull. Bristling psycho PAC vs tranquilo El Idolo would've been money. Instead, Andrade's mates are dragging this down to filler. Punk promo was nice, but that was a bit of a problem. It surprised that it went exactly the way the debut was originally supposed to go, according to the leak earlier in the week, and you could see immediately why it didn't work. The guys in the ring were having a lovely time, but we weren't. I'm sure getting interview by Schiavone was a bit of a mark-out moment for aging nerd Punk, but after the energy and fire of last week, it was a massive comedown. And not only did the production crew try to recreate the magic of Friday, but Schiavone outright TOLD the crowd to. Nope. I wonder how many people Punk's got in trouble telling the crowd to be patient after the Yes chant. Hayter vs Velvet was crap, and not just because of the awkward face/heel dynamic in this group or Velvet's rookie over-reaching. Hayter sitting on her arse on a fallaway slam, then nearly knocking herself out twice deciding to drop like a stone flatback onto the outside taking two topes in the face. Absolutely no sense of strength or power, or personality beyond a slight scowl throughout. I really like the ad hoc team of Mox, Kingston and Darby, with Sting on the outside. A crazy brawler, a street thug, and a human missile, backed up by a corpse-painted golem. Mox's aura since he came back and got puddingy is incredible, and his promos are 100% believable. Yeah, I'm a bit of a Tanahashi mark, but halfway through Mox's Kojima promo, I was sold. Shame the Wingmen were sidelined a little here - their character stuff has been a great laugh and they're one of the better lower-card teams in the roster. Nemeth was hilarious, yelling "I'm just so mad!" when he had the chair. I give zero fucks (yet) about Garcia and his silly socks. QT and his lads getting the jobber entrance versus Two & A Half Gunns, lol. Get Billy away from as many people as possible, everyone you stand him next to looks tiny, not good when you're trying to get guys like Comoroto over as monsters. Absolute nothing match, the Factory continue to get zero development, and QT losing AGAIN means the Big Show match is a waste of time. And then the main. Fuck me, even knowing the finish from on here, Black had me believing he was going to murder people. Then that ending. Fucking hell. I genuinely thought it was a botch, Arn had bottled it and forgotten to bump then called it on the fly. So now an old man can block the new heel's one killer move. His second match, and the Codyverse has already cut Black's nuts off. It's even worse than Ogogo going from one-punch murder machine to failing to get the job done after 15, in that you'd think Black had the clout to tell them to fuck right off with that booking. Then Johnson ran in, and I though maybe Black would just pile up Nightmare Family bodies in the ring. But no, off you run. One on one versus a rookie cruiserweight, but no, Black, you take a powder and do the WWE backing up the ramp for half an hour. Black'll be doing 15-minute back-and-forths in a month. After an okay show, that really left a bad taste in the mouth.
  22. This did the rounds a while ago. If this was genuinely written by a bot, that final 'joke' is absolutely incredible, and very soon we will all be living in a human zoo.
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