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Jesus Fucking Christ


Frankie Crisp

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I seem to be more Frank Spencer than Frankie Crisp as of late.

I’m doing a bit of hosting over Christmas week so we’ve been getting my place in good shape; when I was in work this morning I got this message:

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No biggie. I’ll get a new one in the sales; it’s not like I’ll be desperate for one in the coming days.

Got home a couple of hours later, threw the spare bedding on and finished off the cleaning. As a work Christmas bonus to myself, I got one of those draft ale machines at a steal as I thought it’d be ideal for guests. Cleared a space, set it up and the only thing left to do was load the keg.

Followed the instructions and apart from the tiniest, tiniest bit of ale seeping out when I fitted the nozzle, it seemed good to go. Tested it by pouring a little bit and all still seemed fine.

Went to the bins to sling the packaging and as I came back in, I heard one of the cats bombing it from the kitchen at the same time an almighty pop, fizz and gushing sound bounced around the walls.

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It was fucking everywhere. I assumed the lot had come out so pulled the keg out after this, only to be covered in ale as it continued to stream out of the top in ten different directions. First thought was to leg it to throw it in the bath and in doing so, I left a trail of Camden Pale in my wake on the floors and walls.

That was about three hours ago, I need to replace half a dozen towels, no amount of mopping and cleaning products are helping, there are beer-stenched paw prints everywhere and the flat smells like Oliver Reed.

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Jesus fucking Christmas wishes.

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Not quite the same as the posts above, but fuxking hell this plane fire in Japan looked horrendous!

 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/world-asia-67862184?ns_mchannel=social&ns_source=twitter&ns_campaign=bbc_live&ns_linkname=6593f1d8f825603c1a3816d3%26Watch%3A Plane turns into fireball as it lands on runway%262024-01-02T11%3A30%3A04.372Z&ns_fee=0&pinned_post_locator=urn:asset:98cd3966-14ae-4e4d-adfe-57a9390cd0de&pinned_post_asset_id=6593f1d8f825603c1a3816d3&pinned_post_type=share

 

Video shown above of the collision as the airliner hit the coastguard plane about to take off. Full credit to the crew for evacuating all passengers and themselves safely with what appears to be a huge fire!

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1 hour ago, SuperBacon said:

I'm not saying he's more than friends with that dog, but I'm also not not saying that.

Superb clip in the replies of an owner also wearing a muzzle. Love this country.

Looks just like the dog I saw a couple weekends ago fully locked down on the back legs of a golden retriever. The owner couldn't get "Rambo" under control and it had slipped its leash and so 4 people had to help pull the dog off.

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Thankfully now deleted (after advice from Gary Lineker) but fucking hell. 

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(For Chests benefit, Wayne Rooney is a football player turned manager and is really shit at management. He was at Birmingham City)

Edited by Keith Houchen
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