Shitting Thread #374

[Tommy!]

 

27 minutes ago, Keith Houchen said:

Lads. It’s the forums Wrestlemania tomorrow

We need a photo of @Steve Justice pointing to the sign for the gents. 

[simonworden]

Usually I'm on early to get the crowd pumped but looks like I'm going to be main eventing after a never ending mania this year. I have a feeling I might be a surprise return the next night in the end. 

[Gus Mears]

**1/2 main event. Underwhelming. No drinking for me Christmas Day and I wasn't able to deliver on my usual high spots. Good chance I'll need to charge back into the bog like Hogan at Mania 9 to send my colon home happy.

[gmoney]

Just done something that resembled a humongous, extremely unappetising  pretzel into my parents lav. Both elderly so any blockages can be blamed on them. The Hayashi method. 

[Frankie Crisp]

On 12/26/2022 at 6:19 PM, Frankie Crisp said:

Chippy Tea in the local boozer during a Boxing Day all-dayer is always the highlight of the festive menu.

*Lou Reed plays in the background

 

Edited December 27, 2022 by Frankie Crisp

[SuperBacon]

Jesus Shitting Christ.

[Gus Mears]

Quality Street tin ain't helping you out of that one.

[Mr_Danger]

On 12/25/2022 at 9:36 PM, Tommy! said:

 

We need a photo of @Steve Justice pointing to the sign for the gents. 

 

Edited December 27, 2022 by Mr_Danger

[Jonny Vegas]

On 12/24/2022 at 3:59 PM, stumobir said:

Bin bag over a mop head and give it a plunge, never fails. Why are you sickos sticking your hand down a toilet?!

 

Never mind, forgot what forum I was reading for a second there.

Get an empty 2 litre plastic bottle of fizzy soft drink, cut the bottom off and leave the cap on. 

Pair of rubber gloves on and use as a plunger, bingo.

Worked a treat for me ever since discovering it when my old housemate flooded a bathroom with shit and toilet water when we lived in New Zealand.

EDIT - apologies, hadn't seen DEF had already posted the same tip. Those spending money on plumbers, fancy gadgets or sticking mops down the toilet have lost their damn minds.

Edited December 26, 2022 by Jonny Vegas

[Gus Mears]

Defrosted some French onion soup for dinner last night and I don't know what the freezing process did to it, but it's like I'm spraying paint stripper on the porcelain. Absolutely foul.

Edited January 17, 2023 by Gus Mears

[SuperBacon]

I bet this is someone from here. 

[Chest Rockwell]

I'm in the UAE at the minute. Bum guns everywhere. How wonderful it is!

[Joe Blog]

1 hour ago, Chest Rockwell said:

Bum guns

I read that as Bum gulls first time and I just thought those poor seagulls. 

[FLips]

Shitting has been a nightmare for me now for a few weeks. I have some sort of intestinal virus that means I’m getting agonising stomach cramps every 20-30 minutes that is only relieved by pooing. The downside is that it’s not actual poo most the time, just trapped air and clear mucus-y slime. Absolutely fucked. Never had anything as bad as this.

[Surf Digby]

5 hours ago, SuperBacon said:

I bet this is someone from here. 

In those circumstances, I just move onto a second sheet.