SuperBacon Posted June 28, 2022 Share Posted June 28, 2022 I've had 8 poos today, all of different consistency and colour. Not great is it? The only positive is that 7 of them have been on the company dime. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators neil Posted June 28, 2022 Moderators Share Posted June 28, 2022 See a doctor mate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members gmoney Posted June 28, 2022 Paid Members Share Posted June 28, 2022 Doctors don't take kindly to boasting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Devon Malcolm Posted June 28, 2022 Paid Members Share Posted June 28, 2022 3 hours ago, SuperBacon said: I've had 8 poos today, all of different consistency and colour. Maybe your bowels were trying to celebrate Pride month. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Retro Red Posted June 28, 2022 Share Posted June 28, 2022 Don’t think LGBTQ+ is the movement he needs to be concerned about at the moment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Tommy! Posted June 28, 2022 Paid Members Share Posted June 28, 2022 (edited) I'm confused how those two things relate unless you've also become Chinese. Edited June 28, 2022 by Tommy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Coconut Posted July 4, 2022 Share Posted July 4, 2022 Queen Coconut is insisting we get one of them Japanese robot toilets that practically does the shit for you. I love that woman dearly. I'll update you with a report when it's installed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Fatty Facesitter Posted July 4, 2022 Paid Members Share Posted July 4, 2022 9 hours ago, King Coconut said: Queen Coconut is insisting we get one of them Japanese robot toilets that practically does the shit for you. I love that woman dearly. I'll update you with a report when it's installed. Worth every penny. Item number 2 on my list of reasons for wanting to return to Tokyo to relive some of the most pleasant, peaceful, splendid, pleasurable shits in my lifetime. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Scott Malbranque Posted August 3, 2022 Paid Members Share Posted August 3, 2022 Tried to whistle the theme song from Back to the Future out of my Swiss, but failed dramatically. Notions, like... Kwak.mp3   Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Lorne Malvo Posted December 2, 2022 Paid Members Share Posted December 2, 2022 I've got piles. If this wasn't bad enough, I've also got a nasty cough. So everytime I have a coughing fit my arsehole tightens up right around the grapes of wrath. It's a one-two hit of pain. I'm in fucking agony here all. Send help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CAREBEAR LUVVA Posted December 11, 2022 Share Posted December 11, 2022 Camera up the jacksie, is it? Ask them if you can watch the screen while they're doing it. Makes the time go a bit quicker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Kaz Hayashi Posted December 23, 2022 Paid Members Share Posted December 23, 2022 Other than posting my condolences to EugeneSpeed, it's been about a year since I've posted at a guess, but what better way to return than inform you all about a big shit? I run a workshop, specialising in wood carving and creative arts. Groups of people attend my sessions, typically those associated to charities, or specific groups like OAPs, etc. On Monday I had an absolutely epic shite at work in my workshop. It was like an end of the year celebratory shit, it was huge. Flushed once, it refused to move, flushed again, nope, then a 3rd time and that's when it all went wrong. The water filled the bowl and it was obviously going to be an issue, the toilet couldn't handle it. Big blockage. It's a workshop, but we don't have a plunger, so I had to improvise and used a 2 foot by12mm industrial drill bit. After 10 mins of stabbing aimlessly in to the bog, nowt was happening, I was simply swilling filthy shitty water around, it wouldn't drain at all. I then had to report it, we needed a specialist out, but we have to use approved contractors, and to book one I have to contact the orgs maintenance manager. She's late 20's, prim and proper, very sound lass we'll call Sarah. Not a chance I'm telling Sarah I've just had a massive shit and she needs to sort it out. So I explain the issue but say we've heard rat movement between floors (true) and at a guess, a rat 'or something' is stuck in the down pipe and had frozen...hmm, anyway whatever it had blocked the pipe causing waste to come back up from the previous week. Sounds reasonably plausible and takes the stink off me, while addressing the problem. Sorted. Later in the day she turns up with a plumber. I lead them to hell and try and drop little ideas about why it's possibly happened, anything other than 'I did a huge shit', I'm too far in now, can't go back. The plumber said "if it wasn't already in the bowl and then all came back up, then it's a drain issue and would require a team in, making it a much bigger job", I just said "hmm right". He put his plunger in the bog, worked his magic and just said the immortal like, "there's nee rats in here like, someone's just had a giant shit". Sarah looked at me, I felt I had to respond but didn't know what to say, I decided in a split second to respond with a shake of my head and said "I'll have a word". Have a word with who, and about what?I hadn't worked that out yet, it all happened so fast. As they were leaving they just said "please just remind people not to put anything down that shouldn't and keep an eye on things". I said "yeah of course, they're in today, I'll mention it". On the way out of the room on the back of the door with a very basic weekly calendar, it's huge, you can't miss it, and in massive letters it states the day and the group due it. "Monday: "Old Friends North" I'd inadvertently blamed my massive bog blocking shit on a group lonely OAPs with communication difficulties. Probably a special place in hell for me now, fair enough, but at least Sarah doesn't think I do humongous shits, although she probably does think exactly that. I'll fuck off again now, might post again next year if anything else of interest happens. Have a nice Christmas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperBacon Posted December 23, 2022 Share Posted December 23, 2022 Live footage of Kaz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators neil Posted December 23, 2022 Moderators Share Posted December 23, 2022 As a lanky fuck I take comically large shits and have experienced the clogged toilet more often than not. I reckon you could've taken care of this yourself @Kaz Hayashi - although the required actions may haunt you. In this scenario you're basically James Herriot and the toilet is a cow, put the marigolds on and get your arm up there as far as possible and get to work. Once the "calf" is freed both you and the toilet will sigh in relief and then you just have to deal with days of excessive hand washing to come. I'll take the self-shame of this over some random bloke unclogging my monstrosity any day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simonworden Posted December 23, 2022 Share Posted December 23, 2022 Wonderful story Kaz. I like to use intermittent flushing to prevent this when possible although sometimes I don't want people to think I'm finished either in a busy place or extended family at home. My first shit on UK soil in years was an extended, high volume affair which I thought might clog the house up without intermittent flushing but luckily it all went down. My parents are too elderly for that issue nowm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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