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    Mid Carder
  • Birthday 01/29/1980

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    Chippy Tea

    Whoever served that up deserves a slap round the chops. Boxes are for pizza, not fish and chips.

    Chippy Tea

    Can anyone else see the batter on the bottom sausage? It's very clearly there. Have I inadvertently stumbled across a new "what colour is this dress?" / "Yanny or Laurel" type situation?

    Chippy Tea

    The bottom one's just nicely lightly battered to perfection. Perfection. Bollocks to those great big thick greasy tree trunk ones where you get more batter than sausage. I didn't notice gravy, but then I tend not to bother with it myself so I wouldn't have been looking for it. Does this mean I'll have to go back at some point so that I'll be able to answer this question properly? I can probably force myself.

    Chippy Tea

    I think I've just found a new favourite chip shop. Our local place when I was growing up won the best chip shop award several years running, and I never thought I'd find anywhere even near as good as theirs, but holy shit, Arkwrights in Leeds has just blown my mind. Proper traditional tiny little shop, run by an ageing husband and wife who I imagine have probably been there for about a hundred years. The warmest of greetings from the pair of them when I went in, all smiles and chatting away as I perused the menu, which didn't take too long because it's a choice of either fish and chips, sausage and chips, or double sausage and chips, with a side of peas if wanted. I plumped for double sausage and chips, with one battered sausage and one "normal" one. Both jumbo, because that's all they do. I watched as the kindly lady scooped the chips out of the fryer, and they looked amazing. Big thick chunky proper chip shop chips, none of this bollocks "fries" nonsense, nice and golden, seemingly perfectly cooked. I'll not lie, I was tempted to ask her to not bother wrapping them and just shovel them straight into my face instead. Wrapped in white paper and then handed to me in a brown paper bag, I paid my £5.20 (possibly a tad steep, but after eating, I'm fine with it) and headed home. The chips were the absolute perfect consistency, nice and soft with slightly crispy edges, and beautifully fluffy inside. I started with the normal sausage which had a really nice almost spicy tang to it, and then moved on to the battered one. This is where I very nearly lost my shit. It was simply phenomenal. The batter was fairly thin, which is a plus in my book, and not at all soggy. It was the most crispy batter I've ever eaten, adding a tremendous crunch to the already delicious soft and spicy sausage inside. My only complaint is that it was so amazing that I wolfed it down far too quickly and it was all over too soon, but that was totally my own fault. Honestly feel like I'm never going to find a better chippy than this. All you need from a chip shop is a smile off whoever's behind the counter and a satisfying bit of grub, and this went way beyond expectations on both counts. I'm going to do a Meltzer and give it six stars.

    Outstanding Names

    I went to school with some wacky named fellas. Egpo Ogpong, Deepak Wijiweratne (most likely spelled that one wrong), and Ng Ng (definitely didn't spell that one wrong). Poor lads. All proper bellends too, as far as I can remember.

    Just seen a big spider

    A quick squirt of red Raid will sort that out. It's got a pretty powerful jet on it, so you don't need to get too close and it's great for dealing with the bastards on high ceilings.

    Fuck Off Kirstie Allsopp

    I'd never let anyone who writes "would of" tell me how to bring my kids up.

    WHAT PLAY YOU!? Version 2.0

    I'm definitely stuck. This one particular mission was being a bit weird with a disappearing objective marker and stuff like that for a while (I was buggering about exploring and doing tombs and all that), then when I went back to the story it just refuses to trigger whatever should be happening when I get to where it's telling me to go. I guess there's a chance I might be missing something, but given I've had similar technical issues with the previous Tomb Raiders I'm more inclined to believe it's just playing silly beggars. Fingers crossed it's just me being dense and an eventual walkthrough will sort it, although I've searched high and low in the game and would be super surprised if that's the case. No chance I'm starting again if it turns out to be bugged/buggered.

    WHAT PLAY YOU!? Version 2.0

    It'll be interesting to see what people are saying about Tomb Raider when the reviews start appearing this afternoon. My review copy shat the bed around 15 hours in, and refused to trigger a story event so I wasn't able to go any further...

    Biscuit chat

    The double stuffed mint flavoured ones are pretty great though...

    Biscuit chat

    Seeing "chunky" spelled like that on a packet would drive me insane every time I opened the cupboard, no matter how delicious its contents might be.

    Best chocolate bar

    Mild disappointment at Lidl this morning. They didn't have any of these mythical massive Ritters, but I made do with some regular bars - two marzipans and two peppermints, to sort of almost make up the same size. "That'll be enough sweets for the weekend", I thought. I've been home less than five minutes and one of the marzipans has gone already. I also bought a 3-pack of boxers, but (under)crackers are probably more suited to the biscuit thread.

    Biscuit chat

    This. Especially Tesco's honeycomb and white chocolate ones. They're on offer at the moment, too. A quid for a pack of four.

    Best chocolate bar

    I love the idea that all these folk in sporty clothes are going around with their pockets stuffed full of delicious continental confectionery. Might dig my combats out and see how many big bars I can fit in 8 big baggy trouser pockets. I won't keep them in my pockets for long though, of course. Everyone knows only a maniac would keep chocolate in their pocket. It's asking for all kinds of trouble, that.

    Best chocolate bar

    Weird double post for some reason. I'm not working today, so it looks like I'm off to Lidl for a wander.