Undefeated Steak Posted February 2, 2020 Share Posted February 2, 2020 His hands were made for holding a lowki pokey. More accessory opportunities there than a Hasbro. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Devon Malcolm Posted February 17, 2020 Paid Members Share Posted February 17, 2020 UKFF needs to see this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members ElCece Posted February 17, 2020 Paid Members Share Posted February 17, 2020 1 minute ago, Devon Malcolm said: UKFF needs to see this. As open as the UKFF can be to the art of shitting I will be disappointed if anyone admits to having done this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Devon Malcolm Posted February 17, 2020 Paid Members Share Posted February 17, 2020 11 minutes ago, ElCece said: As open as the UKFF can be to the art of shitting I will be disappointed if anyone admits to having done this. Not been here very long, have you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Kaz Hayashi Posted February 17, 2020 Paid Members Share Posted February 17, 2020 14 minutes ago, Devon Malcolm said: UKFF needs to see this. Nope, never shit in a shower or bath. My daughter (3) shits in the bath every bath time. EVERY BATH TIME. Trying to locate and scoop it out, in between the hills of bubbles and grinning rubber ducks, before it breaks apart, should score me a crystal from Richard O’Brien. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members ElCece Posted February 17, 2020 Paid Members Share Posted February 17, 2020 4 minutes ago, Devon Malcolm said: Not been here very long, have you. That and I'm ever the optimist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 17, 2020 Share Posted February 17, 2020 1 hour ago, Kaz Hayashi said: My daughter (3) shits in the bath every bath time. EVERY BATH TIME. Trying to locate and scoop it out, in between the hills of bubbles and grinning rubber ducks, before it breaks apart, should score me a crystal from Richard O’Brien. Please remind her of this about ten years from now when she's giving you grief. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Kaz Hayashi Posted February 17, 2020 Paid Members Share Posted February 17, 2020 (edited) 19 minutes ago, Uncle Zeb said: Please remind her of this about ten years from now when she's giving you grief. I’ll wait until she gets her own place and I’ll go and have a shit in her bath. Edited February 17, 2020 by Kaz Hayashi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperBacon Posted February 17, 2020 Share Posted February 17, 2020 My ex shit in the birthing pool when our second was born. Fishing it out wasn’t the greatest moment of our marriage I’m not gonna lie. I remind her that I’m the odd one out in our family as I’m the only one to have seen the others poo themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Undefeated Steak Posted February 17, 2020 Share Posted February 17, 2020 This is the third time I've been to the shop and forgotten to get shit roll. Need to start browsing the forum when I'm in Tesco. There's an industrial sized roll of the thinnest toilet paper here that I can only hazard a guess as to how it first appeared in the property. I've got a Madras on and I fear it's going to be like cleaning up an oil spillage with receipt paper later. Which leads me onto what's the worst thing you've ever wiped your arse with when you've ran out of toilet roll? My opening gambit is a sock or attempting to use the brown cardboard roll of the toilet paper. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members ElCece Posted February 17, 2020 Paid Members Share Posted February 17, 2020 5 minutes ago, Undefeated Steak said: This is the third time I've been to the shop and forgotten to get shit roll. Need to start browsing the forum when I'm in Tesco. There's an industrial sized roll of the thinnest toilet paper here that I can only hazard a guess as to how it first appeared in the property. I've got a Madras on and I fear it's going to be like cleaning up an oil spillage with receipt paper later. Which leads me onto what's the worst thing you've ever wiped your arse with when you've ran out of toilet roll? My opening gambit is a sock or attempting to use the brown cardboard roll of the toilet My pair of boxers whilst in a pub toilet with no loo roll, left them festering in the corner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Kaz Hayashi Posted February 17, 2020 Paid Members Share Posted February 17, 2020 Evening shitters, Post-breakfast party at mine tomorrow morning. RSVP. Cheers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members ReturnOfTheMack Posted February 17, 2020 Paid Members Share Posted February 17, 2020 2 hours ago, Undefeated Steak said: Which leads me onto what's the worst thing you've ever wiped your arse with when you've ran out of toilet roll? My opening gambit is a sock or attempting to use the brown cardboard roll of the toilet paper. An old housemate of mine when I was a student used a Lovecraft book that had been printed in the 50s. I wasnt happy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 17, 2020 Share Posted February 17, 2020 2 hours ago, Kaz Hayashi said: Evening shitters, Post-breakfast party at mine tomorrow morning. RSVP. Cheers. While we all ♥️ a bday party, I'd advise against eating the 🎂. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Surf Digby Posted February 17, 2020 Paid Members Share Posted February 17, 2020 8 hours ago, Devon Malcolm said: UKFF needs to see this. I've not actually taken a shit in a shower, but I did once get home with my bowels a-churning, legging it from the front door to the toilet and firing out an unholy mess in about three seconds, and only then discovering that there was not a single sheet of toilet paper on the roll. I figured I'd just step into the shower and hose the remains out of my arse, no doubt inspired by a UKFF recommendation of the bum-gun. I can tell you, it's not as clean and convenient as you'd imagine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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