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Shitting Thread #374


PowerButchi

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14 minutes ago, Devon Malcolm said:

UKFF needs to see this.

 

Nope, never shit in a shower or bath.

My daughter (3) shits in the bath every bath time. EVERY BATH TIME. Trying to locate and scoop it out, in between the hills of bubbles and grinning rubber ducks, before it breaks apart, should score me a crystal from Richard O’Brien.

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1 hour ago, Kaz Hayashi said:

My daughter (3) shits in the bath every bath time. EVERY BATH TIME. Trying to locate and scoop it out, in between the hills of bubbles and grinning rubber ducks, before it breaks apart, should score me a crystal from Richard O’Brien.

Please remind her of this about ten years from now when she's giving you grief.

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This is the third time I've been to the shop and forgotten to get shit roll. Need to start browsing the forum when I'm in Tesco.

There's an industrial sized roll of the thinnest toilet paper here that I can only hazard a guess as to how it first appeared in the property. I've got a Madras on and I fear it's going to be like cleaning up an oil spillage with receipt paper later. 

Which leads me onto what's the worst thing you've ever wiped your arse with when you've ran out of toilet roll?

My opening gambit is a sock or attempting to use the brown cardboard roll of the toilet paper. 

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5 minutes ago, Undefeated Steak said:

This is the third time I've been to the shop and forgotten to get shit roll. Need to start browsing the forum when I'm in Tesco.

There's an industrial sized roll of the thinnest toilet paper here that I can only hazard a guess as to how it first appeared in the property. I've got a Madras on and I fear it's going to be like cleaning up an oil spillage with receipt paper later. 

Which leads me onto what's the worst thing you've ever wiped your arse with when you've ran out of toilet roll?

My opening gambit is a sock or attempting to use the brown cardboard roll of the toilet 

My pair of boxers whilst in a pub toilet with no loo roll, left them festering in the corner. 

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2 hours ago, Undefeated Steak said:

 

Which leads me onto what's the worst thing you've ever wiped your arse with when you've ran out of toilet roll?

My opening gambit is a sock or attempting to use the brown cardboard roll of the toilet paper. 

An old housemate of mine when I was a student used a Lovecraft book that had been printed in the 50s. I wasnt happy. 

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2 hours ago, Kaz Hayashi said:

Evening shitters,

Post-breakfast party at mine tomorrow morning. RSVP. Cheers.

C125E456-B749-4F65-B6BC-5565ACD9B0ED.jpeg

While we all ♥️ a bday party, I'd advise against eating the 🎂.

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8 hours ago, Devon Malcolm said:

UKFF needs to see this.

 

I've not actually taken a shit in a shower, but I did once get home with my bowels a-churning, legging it from the front door to the toilet and firing out an unholy mess in about three seconds, and only then discovering that there was not a single sheet of toilet paper on the roll.

I figured I'd just step into the shower and hose the remains out of my arse, no doubt inspired by a UKFF recommendation of the bum-gun.

I can tell you, it's not as clean and convenient as you'd imagine.

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