Awards Moderator Onyx2 Posted August 1, 2019 Awards Moderator Share Posted August 1, 2019 8 hours ago, Carbomb said: Interesting you call them "Nobby Stiles" - I've heard "Farmer Giles" before, and once heard "Billies" (apparently for "Billy Boyds"), but not Nobbies. I know them as that from the Shirehorses' Cum on Skweeze Me Boilz. https://open.spotify.com/track/2fXaKr9Hbn4I8WmU6cvgpy?si=IOnBAntsT6iuyRWiis6JQA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord-Mountevans Posted August 1, 2019 Share Posted August 1, 2019 9 hours ago, Carbomb said: Do chemists still do that these days? Most of the ones I've been to in the past fifteen years or so just tend to ask the customer name or give a number, then call that out, for that very reason. Interesting you call them "Nobby Stiles" - I've heard "Farmer Giles" before, and once heard "Billies" (apparently for "Billy Boyds"), but not Nobbies. Well in Viz Magazine you "Nobby's Piles" about a bloke called Nobby, who suffers with Piles and that obviously rhymes with Nobby Stiles. My other point was that if you call it "Anusol" you might as well call it "Rectum Relief" or "Anal Agony"? Why not call it something a little less crude or obviously "arse related". Any decent product should not necessarily have a link to its use, within its name Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members gmoney Posted August 1, 2019 Paid Members Share Posted August 1, 2019 It's not done them any harm. It's the first product I think of when the grapes of wrath appear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperBacon Posted August 2, 2019 Share Posted August 2, 2019 Ran out of toilet paper, and needed a shit so now I have to have another shower before I can go and get toilet paper ffs* *actually better. Can see why people use bidets and the like Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Surf Digby Posted August 4, 2019 Paid Members Share Posted August 4, 2019 My lad has his first shit straight into the toilet today. Normally I'm against parents sharing their kids toilet habits, but I was particularly proud because it was a full-on adult sized turd. It must have been like me trying to squeeze one out the size of a 2l bottle of Coke. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simonworden Posted August 4, 2019 Share Posted August 4, 2019 Went with the wife to the beach last week, she insists on eating at least one meal consisting of a mountain of seafood costing about 30 quid in total which is a massive amount for dinner here. Beautiful meal but tends to disagree with me and caused an 80 minute shit to be had in the hours before checkout at the hotel. Solid fucker it was too, biggest issue was this bathroom had no window or extractor fan. After having to go out for a bit we came back 15 minutes before checkout time and it hadn't died down at all. Considering the filthy state the room was in when we arrived I do wonder if you young lad in charge knew what to do about my creation. Reading that back I want to make it clear the mass had been flushed away at this point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord-Mountevans Posted August 4, 2019 Share Posted August 4, 2019 6 hours ago, simonworden said: Went with the wife to the beach last week, she insists on eating at least one meal consisting of a mountain of seafood costing about 30 quid in total which is a massive amount for dinner here. Beautiful meal but tends to disagree with me and caused an 80 minute shit to be had in the hours before checkout at the hotel. Solid fucker it was too, biggest issue was this bathroom had no window or extractor fan. After having to go out for a bit we came back 15 minutes before checkout time and it hadn't died down at all. Considering the filthy state the room was in when we arrived I do wonder if you young lad in charge knew what to do about my creation. Reading that back I want to make it clear the mass had been flushed away at this point. Call me gross, but i would be interested in your most accurate & eloquent description of what an "80 minute, Solid fucker of a £30 seafood shit" actually smells like? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Bellenda Carlisle Posted August 4, 2019 Paid Members Share Posted August 4, 2019 You're gross. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperBacon Posted August 4, 2019 Share Posted August 4, 2019 Just a normal Sunday on the UKFF with someone outing themselves as a scat fetishist Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord-Mountevans Posted August 4, 2019 Share Posted August 4, 2019 11 minutes ago, SuperBacon said: Just a normal Sunday on the UKFF with someone outing themselves as a scat fetishist Not really😃 I found the post quite funny & thought he could add to the humour with one final push! (pun intended) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wideload90 Posted August 4, 2019 Share Posted August 4, 2019 I found out that if mushrooms are not chewed well enough they can emerge in your shit nearly whole. Fascinating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simonworden Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 13 hours ago, Lord-Mountevans said: Call me gross, but i would be interested in your most accurate & eloquent description of what an "80 minute, Solid fucker of a £30 seafood shit" actually smells like? Take a normal shit, put it in a kettle. Fill it with piss and boil while that is going on find those yoghurts you left out in the sun last weekend. Mix in copious amounts of Vietnamese fish sauce. Mix it around in a dirty gymbag and add a little lynx Africa and I'd say you've got it. Another description would be eat a pizza hut pizza go for a run then times the smell of your sweat by 1000. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord-Mountevans Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 5 hours ago, simonworden said: Take a normal shit, put it in a kettle. Fill it with piss and boil while that is going on find those yoghurts you left out in the sun last weekend. Mix in copious amounts of Vietnamese fish sauce. Mix it around in a dirty gymbag and add a little lynx Africa and I'd say you've got it. Another description would be eat a pizza hut pizza go for a run then times the smell of your sweat by 1000. Very Good! 😁 😁😁 Not only have you totally nailed your experience with eloquent splendour, but have also added the ingredients and mechanics to reproduce what appears to be an incredibly vulgar stench! Just off now to the shops to invest in some Vietnamese fish sauce, whilst the kettle is boiling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Lion_of_the_Midlands Posted August 5, 2019 Paid Members Share Posted August 5, 2019 Is it easy to get Vietnamese fish sauce where you live @simonworden? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simonworden Posted August 6, 2019 Share Posted August 6, 2019 It's difficult to not get it to be honest considering I'm slap bang in the middle of Saigon. If you've never tried it. It takes some getting used to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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