SuperBacon Posted August 4, 2021 Share Posted August 4, 2021 17 minutes ago, neil said: I don't know why you'd need light to take a shit. What are you trying to see? I dont want to walk out and around all day with a shitty arse? Unless we're bringing back the UKFF ShitArse thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CAREBEAR LUVVA Posted August 4, 2021 Share Posted August 4, 2021 Unless you're planning to bump into the Bottom Inspectors from Viz, does it matter if there's a bit of smearing? It's not like anyone's going to know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Coconut Posted August 4, 2021 Share Posted August 4, 2021 13 minutes ago, CAREBEAR LUVVA said: Unless you're planning to bump into the Bottom Inspectors from Viz, does it matter if there's a bit of smearing? It's not like anyone's going to know. I remember watching some Italian guy on Eurotrash who claimed to have fucked an unbelievable amount of women. When asked what his number 1 tip was he said to always have a clean downstairs. You're the opposite of that guy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperBacon Posted August 4, 2021 Share Posted August 4, 2021 30 minutes ago, CAREBEAR LUVVA said: Unless you're planning to bump into the Bottom Inspectors from Viz, does it matter if there's a bit of smearing? It's not like anyone's going to know. Yes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Carbomb Posted August 4, 2021 Paid Members Share Posted August 4, 2021 41 minutes ago, CAREBEAR LUVVA said: Unless you're planning to bump into the Bottom Inspectors from Viz, does it matter if there's a bit of smearing? It's not like anyone's going to know. I'm happy for Steve Justice; we've now found his replacement! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Tommy! Posted August 4, 2021 Paid Members Share Posted August 4, 2021 2 hours ago, King Coconut said: pooing in the dark Springsteen's forgotten first draft Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr_Danger Posted August 4, 2021 Share Posted August 4, 2021 I always preferred Born to Runs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperBacon Posted April 21, 2022 Share Posted April 21, 2022 Fucking hell. Also reminds me that a young lad at work wipes his bum with wet wipes (he says they're flushable) every time he poos. When I asked him why he doesn't just use paper, he said "Well if I took a shit on our desk and wiped it with tissues it wouldn't go would it?" I replied "Well if you wiped long enough with different bits of clean paper everytime it would" but he won't have it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Wretch Posted April 21, 2022 Paid Members Share Posted April 21, 2022 Used wet wipes to wipe my hole when I was suffering terribly with piles and the pain was too much for standard bog roll. Did its job so that was grand but as a full on replacement though? Nah, don’t like how they feel unless they’re to calm down a haemorrhoid riddled arse. I’m still in the habit of looking at the loo roll after each wipe. Related to the above, this goes back to when I’d check to see how much blood there’d be on the wet wipes before I flushed them down the bog. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Tommy! Posted April 21, 2022 Paid Members Share Posted April 21, 2022 Boss Bidet @Wretch, about £30 and fitted with no DIY skill required in about 30 minutes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loki Posted April 22, 2022 Share Posted April 22, 2022 Moist toilet tissue is a very affordable luxury, and genuinely so much more comfortable than scouring your arse with regular paper. Â We're not helping the meme of smelly wrestling fans by highlighting that some of us wipe once, pull up our trous and go about their day without even a thought. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Carbomb Posted April 22, 2022 Paid Members Share Posted April 22, 2022 1 hour ago, scratchdj said: Why would clean anything and then not check it's clean before finishing up? More so when the thing you're cleaning is covered in poo and attached to you. Exactly. If there's anything you should be meticulous about, it's cleaning up after dropping a grumpy. 1 hour ago, scratchdj said: Could someone educate me on bidets please? I assume you still need to wipe up? Doesn't the water go everywhere and make a horrible mess? Never used a bidet, but used plenty of Japanese bidet-fitted toilets - the water sprays into the crack and on to your underside, meaning it gets directed downwards, and not widely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Coconut Posted June 19, 2022 Share Posted June 19, 2022 (edited) 45 minutes ago, johnnyboy said: rub it over the rusty sheriff Surely you want to wipe instead of rub? You need to make your own video really. Edited June 19, 2022 by King Coconut Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members CleetusVanDamme Posted June 19, 2022 Paid Members Share Posted June 19, 2022 Whoever managed to drop that smiley face on her hand is an artist. And I say that as someone who used to be able to squeeze out the fabled "Mr. Whippy". Respect. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CAREBEAR LUVVA Posted June 19, 2022 Share Posted June 19, 2022 Bugger fannying about slathering gel all over the place when moist wipes do the trick just fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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