Vamp Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 If man were an intelligent animal it wouldn't fall for its closest friends. Â Man is a very stupid animal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members LaGoosh Posted July 20, 2015 Paid Members Share Posted July 20, 2015 Stunner how did your situation end up? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members WWFChilli Posted July 20, 2015 Paid Members Share Posted July 20, 2015 (edited) Yeah Stunner, how did that come out for you. Edited July 20, 2015 by WWFChilli Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
handspants Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 So My Mrs is awfully sweet, generous and caring but she puts an awful amount of weight into what people think about her. She is a bit insecure that way. Â She can tend to boast a little bit about stuff she's done. But she caught a new work colleague rolling her eyes at her last week when she was talking. More or less mocking her. Â She was awfully hurt by it and the bigger problem is that my Mrs was the favourite amongst her colleagues until this new person started whom they all now love. Â My Mrs is dreading work tomorrow, I've given her the usual generic pep talk but does anybody else have any advise ? Â To be fair, I'm sure most people would roll their eyes when someone, as you yourself put it, was boasting. Â Â Maybe let her know that she might be better off bringing up achievements in a more casual way. Â Â 'What did you do at the weekend RancidPunkx Mrs?' Â 'Oh, well, I just parachuted into Cambodia and adopted 5 kids' Â 'Hahaha, really?' Â 'Yeah, I did' Â 'Well that's pretty cool'. Â That, I am almost certain is how the conversation would go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stunner Posted July 25, 2015 Share Posted July 25, 2015 Stunner how did your situation end up? Â Â Yeah Stunner, how did that come out for you. Â I really don't know... Â After a week of nothing, she messages me and starts a kind of (not remotely) subtle "Hmm, I haven't touched alcohol since! It's probably just a well because i say and do silly things when I'm drunk smiley-face!", I told her that it was stupid and that I was stepping back, which she didn't really respond to. Â Flash-forward, what, three months or so? And I'll still get a message from her every fortnight or so along the lines "Hey, how are you?", or, on my birthday, an 8am message saying she's got us gig tickets for a band I like. Another friend, who doesn't know about this, mentioned how she's been "aggressively" (their words) pursuing everyone about throwing me a birthday party. It was now a month ago and she's still on it, apparently. Â It's getting beyond ridiculous now, and whilst still having feelings for her, really, I'm getting more and more glad I stepped away from it all. She's still with her boyfriend, of course, and he's none the wiser. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Sir Steve Redgrave Posted July 30, 2015 Paid Members Share Posted July 30, 2015 (edited) So, me and the girlfriend who I lived with split last week resulting in me moving back to my parents. Ended up being quite a pleasant, amicable break up. She's staying in the flat and we both agree that we should try to remain friends. As days go by, she starts getting a little bit emotional and wants to see me. I agree. We talk. She reveals she is struggling to be in the flat without me and wants me to stay the night. I explain I don't think it's a good idea because I don't want to lead her on and give false hope that we have a future together but she insists it is just the 'being on her own' she is finding hard to deal with. Being the pussy I am, I cave in. I stayed on the sofa. She wants to continue this every few days until she has gotten used to me not being there. I am reinforcing to her that we have NO future and she agrees which makes this arrangement feel so weird. My mates are close to her friends so I am kind of hesitant to talk to them about it so thought why not turn to an internet forum for advice... Â Is this situation really as weird as it seems in my head? Am I doing her a favour by sticking around as a friend or am I unintentionally giving her hope that we could get back together? Edited July 30, 2015 by Sir Steve Redgrave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members quote the raven Posted July 31, 2015 Paid Members Share Posted July 31, 2015 Just my point of view but thats not right. Â If you are split then staying there isnt going to help. She needs to know its over and she needs to learn to be on her own. Does she not have anyone else that can stay over a few nights a week? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members ElCece Posted July 31, 2015 Paid Members Share Posted July 31, 2015 I have to say there are similarities to a situation I've been in previously. Only you will know the dynamics of your previous relationship but am I right in saying your where the driving force behind the break up? I would be very concerned there is manipulation going on there. There is a kind way to break it to her. You can explain to her that you find it very difficult staying over and suggest she has a mate stay over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King of Hamptons Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 So.. I lost 9st over a year ago, and have been dipping my foot back into dating.. Its been a while since i dated.. 5 years.  3 sepurate dates with 3 women so far and that as far as it has gone.. So i've got really friendly with a women I work with, we've been out as friends twice now, I like her but im sure she only sees me as a friend, She told me she fighting men off with a stick, and the shocker last night see was she openly admitted to me about "sorting herself out"   Shes 10 year older then me, 3 kids. and last night told me. I'm handsome,fun to be around and a good laugh but too old for her, when i said that she was blowing me off she said hat I had it all wrong and that if she was younger she would date me but she doesn't want me to miss out on having kids and marriage and that why she doesn't want to date me.I'm a bit confused....  losing 9st is peanuts compared to dating...  Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr.E Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 @Sir Steve RedgraveA friend of mine has something similar. He broke up with his wife last year, and although it was her being the driving force behind it, she ultimately constantly wanted to see him, speak to him and even hug him if they were alone together in (now) her house, saying she missed that whole side of things, just simply 'being' with another person. Eventually he did reinforce that they are not together anymore, and he now doesn't see her at all. So if you do as others users have suggested, have a friend visit her or just flat out say no, as its not good for you either in the long run. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members I Bent My Wookie Posted July 31, 2015 Paid Members Share Posted July 31, 2015 @ Sir Steve, Â I've got a friend who's currently in a weird situation where she's seeing a guy who's still living with his ex as neither can really afford to rent somewhere by themselves and are not wanting to move back in with parents. Â While slightly different from your situation, she's worried about really getting committed to him as she doesn't think he's moved on, when he claims he's there because she needs his help financially and nothing more. Fairly sure the ex has met my friend as well and is friendly around her. Â I guess what you can take from that ramble is you're not going to get a chance to move on, or in some cases show you have until you get the distance you need. I don't think your intentionally leading her on, but there must be something in her head saying "if he cares this much to be here if its weird for him, maybe things will work out" which isn't the impression you want to give off, as the longer this goes on, the worse off you'll end up as it could be seen as you "playing with her emotions" by still being there all the time when you had no intention of going back (I've done this by accident before with someone I lived across the road with - couldn't really escape being there every day as its uni and a campus but eh thats a whole other sad story) Â The best thing you can do is tell her you find it weird and that you need some time to sort things out for yourself as it would've been a big step for you to call time and you've got to work with that too. If she isn't really willing to give you the space you need, then it could be her looking for attention more than anything. Probably a harsh call by me, but if her needs are more important to her in this situation than yours then she's really looking to make herself feel better about the situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LCJ Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 (edited) Asked out a girl at work this week. Knew she was leaving so thought it was now or never. She said no as she "doesn't see me in that way". Turns out she hasn't been in a relationship for many years after being practically settled down at a young age and was either dumped or cheated on and therefore hurt. It's obvious she has trust issues with men. She's now gone, I'll likely never see her again (I have her number but I'm not being the first to initiate contact) and I'm devastated. This hurts a lot more than I thought it would but I'm not just sorry for myself, I'm sad she has these trust issues. I'll move on but fuck this week. A legend like Piper dying who I had the honour to meet last year was the icing on the cake. Edited August 1, 2015 by LCJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Tommy! Posted August 1, 2015 Paid Members Share Posted August 1, 2015 (she's mid 30s and lives at home) To be fair that's probably for the best, I tried living in the woods for a while but it wasn't much cop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LCJ Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 Â (she's mid 30s and lives at home) To be fair that's probably for the best, I tried living in the woods for a while but it wasn't much cop. Meant with parents but point taken. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrK Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 Asked out a girl at work this week. Knew she was leaving so thought it was now or never. She said no as she "doesn't see me in that way". Turns out she hasn't been in a relationship for many years after being practically settled down at a young age and was either dumped or cheated on and therefore hurt. It's obvious she has trust issues with men. She's now gone, I'll likely never see her again (I have her number but I'm not being the first to initiate contact) and I'm devastated. This hurts a lot more than I thought it would but I'm not just sorry for myself, I'm sad she has these trust issues. I'll move on but fuck this week. A legend like Piper dying who I had the honour to meet last year was the icing on the cake. Rather than having trust issues, is it not more likely that she just doesn't "see you in that way"? I think you should maybe take her at face value. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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