LCJ Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 MRK, I respect her decision. She probably doesn't see me in that way and I accept that. I just find it strange how someone that nice hasn't had a relationship for so many years. I think men ask her out quite often but nobody ever seems to be good enough for her. That to me sounds like trust issues. Not that it matters now anyway. Like I say, I've got no other choice but to move on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freaky Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 I just find it strange how someone that nice hasn't had a relationship for so many years. I think men ask her out quite often but nobody ever seems to be good enough for her. That to me sounds like trust issues. Not that it matters now anyway. Or maybe she knows her self worth and refuses to settle for anything less. Nothing wrong with that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LCJ Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 (edited)  Or maybe she knows her self worth and refuses to settle for anything less. Nothing wrong with that.  I get that. Why should anyone settle for anything less? But I'm sure this lady could also have had her pick from a lot of people who she might consider to be in her league. There's online dating, there's speed dating and several other ways to meet potential partners who she could pursue herself. Myself and a couple of my work colleagues discussed this and were all in agreement that we think that this girl is most likely afraid of getting hurt again as we were all surprised that she's single. Not saying I ever had a chance with her myself. I probably wouldn't but I don't think many other people do either. I've seen this before with other girls. My sister's friend has been single for almost ten years since she was emotionally hurt by her ex and has been in no hurry to get into a relationship since. My sister has tried to get her to sign up for online dating etc.. but her friend never bothers. Her life seems to revolve around looking after her niece and nephew despite wanting kids of her own. She moans about being single yet won't give any men a chance. Again, she's been asked out and has said no on several occasions and won't go out of her way to find someone herself. I'm sorry, but I just find those kinds of situations to be really sad as I think they deserve to be happy. Edited August 2, 2015 by LCJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GPW Kristian Zane Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 She'll find her way in her own time though. Some people don't see the relationship as the means to be happy a lot of the time. She might well get fulfilment in other ways, perhaps from charity work or looking after relatives for example. Plus, you're looking at it from a guy's pov. Women don't think the same my friend. My partner would be furious if she saw your comments. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Coconut Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 He's looking at it from his own personal blown-out point of view. He's thinking 'if only she'd give me a chance, I'd prove to her that I can make her happy'. Understandable to a certain extent, cause you've got to protect your ego, but irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LCJ Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 She'll find her way in her own time though. Some people don't see the relationship as the means to be happy a lot of the time. She might well get fulfilment in other ways, perhaps from charity work or looking after relatives for example. Plus, you're looking at it from a guy's pov. Women don't think the same my friend. My partner would be furious if she saw your comments. Yep, women don't think the same. And sorry if I've offended any women on here with my comments. And whilst on the subject, are there any female wrestling fans on here who want to get in touch? Feel free to message me lol. #ukffdating Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators neil Posted August 5, 2015 Moderators Share Posted August 5, 2015 Does anyone else do a thing where they start seeing someone, then kind of freak out about it, wobble between liking them and not liking them, keeping them at arms length while not totally pushing them away, before the girl finally deciding she's had enough to then only suddenly feel like you've blown it and decide that you do in-fact really like them? Â I've done this pattern for the last few years and I'm finding it to be very disturbing. I don't like it at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian 86 Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 Does anyone else do a thing where they start seeing someone, then kind of freak out about it, wobble between liking them and not liking them, keeping them at arms length while not totally pushing them away, before the girl finally deciding she's had enough to then only suddenly feel like you've blown it and decide that you do in-fact really like them? Â I've done this pattern for the last few years and I'm finding it to be very disturbing. I don't like it at all. Yep pretty much and I agree it sucks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sammorgz Posted August 5, 2015 Share Posted August 5, 2015 (edited) Does anyone else do a thing where they start seeing someone, then kind of freak out about it, wobble between liking them and not liking them, keeping them at arms length while not totally pushing them away, before the girl finally deciding she's had enough to then only suddenly feel like you've blown it and decide that you do in-fact really like them?  I've done this pattern for the last few years and I'm finding it to be very disturbing. I don't like it at all. I did that quite a bit before going to Uni a few years back. I'd just come out of a 3 year relationship and wasn't over it so was playing the field a bit and talking to a few girls and leading them on basically to the point they'd want a relationship then I'd back out and they'd get sick of it and find someone else. Then I'd regret it. Luckily, I didn't do that with my fiancée. She's a diamond. Edited August 5, 2015 by sammorgz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeavyT Posted August 7, 2015 Share Posted August 7, 2015 (edited) I dont often post on the off topic here, but I need to get something off my chest and want to know what others think. I have been getting doubts of my girlfriend of 4+ years. I do love her but I just don't know how "in love" I am. It comes and goes in phases. This past week, after one of my best friend's funerals, i ended up partying with an ex from a long time (8 years) ago. She apologised for a lot of the shitty stuff she did to me, listened to me drunkenly open up and listened.  I don't know if she was actually interested in me, probably just trying to be a good pal. She showed up at the same party I had crashed at in the morning, I had been drinking again (she wasnt). I ended up talking a load of shite, as you do when drunk, but opened up to her just the two of us again (just about my friend, my stagnant life, etc) but I havent been able to stop thinking about her since. I know I dont really know that girl any more, would definitely not want to be with her again, we live hundreds of miles apart and there is a good chance i wont see her again bar perhaps a funeral or wedding of a mututal friend, but what does it mean for my relationship? it has only been a couple of days since then, and it has been a hard few weeks, especially the funeral etc. But it's like it's brought my doubts and want for change to the surface.Am I just being silly and going through what a lot of young people (26) do when they've had niggling doubts and go through hard times in their life, or should I seriously start considering making radical change (example: leaving my gf, moving away) if I can't be as happy as I want to be the way things are? Edited August 7, 2015 by HeavyT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 7, 2015 Share Posted August 7, 2015 The ex isn't an option from sound of it, you where drunk and emotional and looked back with tinted glasses as you were in a bad place. Â Speak to your gf and ask how she is, try new things to do together to try and get that spark back. If its not there after that , then you know. But don't do anything too rash while your emotions are still this high with everything. You might live to regret any such actions later Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeavyT Posted August 7, 2015 Share Posted August 7, 2015 (edited) The ex isn't an option from sound of it, you where drunk and emotional and looked back with tinted glasses as you were in a bad place. Yeah I knew it wasn't an option, guess it was just me thinking how i felt confirmed my previous doubts about my current gf. But yeah things have gotten stale as we never really do anything, but i guess its just as much down to me. Edited August 7, 2015 by HeavyT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators neil Posted August 7, 2015 Moderators Share Posted August 7, 2015 That story really has nothing to do with the ex. The ex was just a catalyst that further moved your concerns of doubts about your current relationship along. I was in a similar position to you, I was in a serious relationship from the age of 22, and pretty much around 26/27 I started to have doubts. I ignored those doubts and ended up getting engaged. Worst decision of my life. Luckily, she actually cheated on me and that was the final straw and I was able to move on. Looking back at that relationship is incredibly scary to me because I was so locked in on just moving along because there was inertia there. Â I'm not saying you're in the same boat as I was, but it is something to think about long and hard as to whether this relationship is truly working for you. People change, especially in that age range, and it's not uncommon to go from being perfect for each other to being complete opposites. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeavyT Posted August 7, 2015 Share Posted August 7, 2015 Yeah we share a lot of the same interests, it's just gotten boring and a lot of the time she just irritates me etc.... I almost feel like she's just a friend at times and with kids, engagement etc. coming in the next year or two I'll have to sort myself out. I would never want to hurt her and in many ways I'm lucky (she is truly devoted to me), so it's really really hard. Just got to get my head around it and decide what I want before that stuff does happen, we've talked about working abroad next summer so maybe that can help us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Coconut Posted August 7, 2015 Share Posted August 7, 2015 ...with kids, engagement etc. coming in the next year or two I'll have to sort myself out. Kids and engagement don't come on a timescale. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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