Moderators neil Posted August 7, 2015 Moderators Share Posted August 7, 2015 we've talked about working abroad next summer so maybe that can help us. Â How would that help? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Jaffa Posted August 7, 2015 Paid Members Share Posted August 7, 2015 So.. I lost 9st over a year ago, I can't help with the dating thing but congratulations, that's a phenomenal achievement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UK Kat Von D Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 (edited) Edit: never mind I figured out where I may have messed up... Edited August 9, 2015 by UK Kat Von D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeavyT Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 Â we've talked about working abroad next summer so maybe that can help us. Â How would that help? Actually doing something together, not just drinking lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 (edited) Â ...with kids, engagement etc. coming in the next year or two I'll have to sort myself out. Kids and engagement don't come on a timescale. Â seriously, I know this got addressed and don't wanna seem like Im dog-piling on but how can you have seemingly quite severe doubts about a relationship and then have the thought process of "well, it'll be kids up next". Fucking ridiculous. Please don't think like that, I don't think that a happy child's upbringing CAN'T be achieved with split-up parents or an untraditional family set-up, I just think it's a very cruel and careless thing to bring a baby into a not-so-stable relationship.. they'll likely end up resenting the shit out of you both, even if they can't admit it - it's a recipe for the therapist's chair is all I'm saying. None of that shit should be on your mind at all if you're still fluttering your eyelashes at your ex, no matter how serious you are about it. You don't lose at life if you don't reproduce y'know, that's not how it works. Â Â post-proofread: I agree with everything I just said, but I sound like a twat cos it's too hot. Goin' for a stroll now.. Edited August 10, 2015 by sj5522 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeavyT Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 Im not saying thats what will happen, i mean if i cant get over my doubts then it certainly will NOT be happening. I've just been through a hard time, giving me a mini crisis. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr.E Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 Wasn't sure if this was the right place for this but:What are people thoughts on "cheating" in relationships? As in, what causes people to do this, the effects and just in general.Nothing to do with my current relationship, but I have been cheated on in the past. I bring this up as it has come out that a bloke at my work has been sleeping about with a women here, an the guy in question is newly married, has a baby, the whole nine yards. And all I can think is "Why would you do that?".For me personally, being in a relationship (married or not), means you've said 'I want to be with this person only' and thus you should stop looking around. Does anybody else think the same or is it just me? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Surf Digby Posted August 20, 2015 Paid Members Share Posted August 20, 2015 a bloke at my work has been sleeping about with a women here,I think there's only Monkee and Kooks left, isn't there? The little minxes. the guy in question is newly married, has a baby, the whole nine yards. And all I can think is "Why would you do that?".He's probably having a crisis of confidence by the change in his circumstances, and wants to reassure himself that his current situation isn't the only option available to him. How old is he? Does anybody else think the same or is it Just Me?I dunno, Just Me was a strange guy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr.E Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 Spelling and grammatical errors aside, he's in his early 30's, but it doesn't seem to be like a personal crisis or anything. Â He's a bit of a "lad" personality wise, but it just seems like a huge "gimmick" rather than him really being like that. It turns out he's cheated on his now wife before, and she found out about it. Ultimately he had to beg for her forgiveness and so on, but he's back his old ways apparently. Â Its just very odd, as several of us here are in a similar situation to him , in terms of home life, and wouldn't dream of doing anything like this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MungoChutney Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 Personality is the driving force behind stuff like this. I tend to find you can break people down in to two categories with cheating on a partner if they're in the 25+ age bracket. Group A will do it and Group B won't. Some in Group A will do it easier and with less mitigation than others but ultimately I think some people have it in them to do it and some people would never do it, no matter what. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members FLips Posted August 20, 2015 Paid Members Share Posted August 20, 2015 What you need to do is find her and tell her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr_Danger Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 Personality is the driving force behind stuff like this. I tend to find you can break people down in to two categories with cheating on a partner if they're in the 25+ age bracket. Group A will do it and Group B won't. Some in Group A will do it easier and with less mitigation than others but ultimately I think some people have it in them to do it and some people would never do it, no matter what. So you're deduction is some people will do it and some people won't? I hope you never got a research grant to figure that out. Â Ego is the most common driving force in cheating, ego and insecurity. I don't think it's all that complex, some people value sexual gratification and the esteem boost more than they do other people's feelings. Â A mate of mind had convinced himself that cheating was the most natural thing in the world and backed it up by saying men can have 100's of children whilst women can't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr.E Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 A mate of mind had convinced himself that cheating was the most natural thing in the world and backed it up by saying men can have 100's of children whilst women can't.  That sort of mind set gets me every time. I cant recall who, but some celeb got busted for cheating on their partner and they then explained it as "We're animals, its in our nature to sleep with whoever we find attractive". And whilst I have understand that, we're also smart enough to say "I really like this other person, maybe I shouldn't stay with the one I'm with?" rather than just hoping for the best and not considering other peoples feelings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members SpursRiot2012 Posted August 20, 2015 Paid Members Share Posted August 20, 2015 Some people just make mistakes also. Coke and alcohol fuelled mistakes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MungoChutney Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 (edited)  Personality is the driving force behind stuff like this. I tend to find you can break people down in to two categories with cheating on a partner if they're in the 25+ age bracket. Group A will do it and Group B won't. Some in Group A will do it easier and with less mitigation than others but ultimately I think some people have it in them to do it and some people would never do it, no matter what. So you're deduction is some people will do it and some people won't? I hope you never got a research grant to figure that out.  Ego is the most common driving force in cheating, ego and insecurity. I don't think it's all that complex, some people value sexual gratification and the esteem boost more than they do other people's feelings.  A mate of mind had convinced himself that cheating was the most natural thing in the world and backed it up by saying men can have 100's of children whilst women can't.  My post might have simplified it too much but yeah, I believe people are either predisposed to cheating or they're not Maybe mitigation and stuff does come in to it on some level but I'm not entirely sure that's not just people like your friend making up any old excuse to justify their behaviour.  Edited August 20, 2015 by MungoChutney Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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