The Relationship Thread

[Matthew]

2 minutes ago, LaGoosh said:

Hope you're doing ok @Matthew

Thanks bud.

Still haven't heard a thing from her. I messaged her Thursday evening, but she didn't even read it, whilst going on/off Whatsapp mutliple times after I sent the message. It was a simple check in, letting her know I'm here etc.

I've not tried to message her since then, nor really had an urge to. I had my first session with the therapist today, and it was a bit of a feel out session.

Still really gutted with the way things have gone, and heartbroken. Still wishing that every notification I get is here, but getting less and less likely.

[LaGoosh]

That's rough, sorry you're going through it.

[Matthew]

So as an update on what seems like this trauma I’m going through, she messaged me last night. “Oi”, she opened the message with. I thought “okay, something light hearted, maybe this is going to go positively”.

”dad is annoyed at you”

I replied almost instantly with “erm, what?”

She didn’t read it, and didn’t acknowledge it.

I realised what had happened. Her brother has the same name as me.

”Back to ghosting me then. Lovely way to treat somebody you loved for 2yrs, called your best friend, and only a month ago was planning for the future”.

She is now blocked, to help make sure she doesn’t make that mistake in the future. 

[Chest Rockwell]

Sorry about that. Blocked is for the best. You don't need that messing with your head more! 

[Matthew]

So it’s been a while since any kind of update; mostly as there isn’t one. Therapy has been ongoing, and I’ve been able to think of things in different ways from my past, that may have contributed to the way I am in relationships.

Anyway, today, my ex viewed my Instagram story, from her alternate account, she rarely uses, and which doesn’t follow me. It’s the first time she has done in 2 months.

The only way she’d have come across my profile is by searching for it, but why would she have done it, and what does she gain, given she’s made it clear where she sees this now?

[SuperBacon]

Honestly? I wouldn't read too much into that. It's natural to want to see what exes are up to IMO.

 

[Keith Houchen]

You can see who viewed your instagram story?

[Your Fight Site]

1 hour ago, Keith Houchen said:

You can see who viewed your instagram story?

Apparently. There was a whole “Wagatha Christie” case that came out of it. 

[deathrey]

Yep, there is a little icon at the bottom left of the screen. Click on it and it tells you who has viewed your story.

 

@Matthew I echo what @SuperBaconsays and honestly, don't read much in to. She is probably just wondering what you are up to/have you moved on etc, it's probably more to do with her ego than you to be honest.

[Keith Houchen]

1 hour ago, Your Fight Site said:

Apparently. There was a whole “Wagatha Christie” case that came out of it. 

That wasn’t done by who had viewed the story but who could view it, wasn’t it?

[Daddymagic]

.

Edited October 6, 2024 by Daddymagic

[Matthew]

Posting here just over a year since my last quandary. Friday 13th strikes again. It may be a superstition, but for the 2nd occurrence, it has knelt the tombstone to a relationship.

So I’ve only been dating this girl a couple of months. To begin with, we both had a lot in common, similar interests, wants, and desires both short and long term from a relationship. Both having not been treated well from previous relationships etc. Both over thinkers and both insecure about things. 

We made things official just under a month ago, and although 6 out of 7 days of the week things were great, and whenever we saw each other in person things were very good, there’d be a day where she’d pick an issue that concerned her. It could be her thinking I’m a fussy eater, that I game, that I have a good friend that’s female that I’ve never had anything with, among a couple other things.

Monday this week she decided she couldn’t move forward anymore, and ended it. I messaged asking if there was anything I could do, and she ended up coming over, apologising, and we worked things out. Tuesday she called and she mentioned how she realised from nearly losing me Monday, how attached she was to me and likes me alot. Wednesday we went to the cinema together. She initiated affection, whether that be holding my hand, stroking my arm, cuddling, a kiss, it was mutual. She got home and said she already missed me and couldn’t wait for Sunday. Yesterday night calls saying although she’s tried, she’s not feeling it, and it’s not for her.

To say I’m disappointed and sad is an understatement. Although only a month, I’m at the point where I want my last first date. She too said that’s what she wanted from the outset. The level of contact, effort, and intention on planning date days/nights she did was exactly what I wanted. So to have lost that now, and lost all of the things we had spoken about doing together, Both short and long term is just a really shitty, dull, and sad feeling.

Why I’m posting here, among strangers I don’t know, I guess free of judgment. But I’m just really sad and disappointed, and somewhat confused. How you go from being all over someone one night, feeling really attached one night, to then no longer feeling it. It’s just very sad and has left me really low. 

[DavidB6937]

Don't blame you for being sad and sorry that's happened but to me it does sound like a bit of an escape if she's all over the place like that already. You want someone a bit more stable and committed rather than someone who's changing their mind all the time. You won't get a decent relationship out of that.

Won't feel great at the moment but you absolutely don't want to be stuck with someone who's going to be stressing you out and constantly confusing you all the time. It's even worse when you're second guessing everything all the time and wondering where you stand.

Who knows what her reasons are but certainly hope you can move on and find something better and more reliable @Matthew.

[SuperBacon]

Sorry to hear that @Matthew and concur with what Dave says.

Also, I know this is fairly obvious but you can send yourself mad overthinking the whys and the what's etc and it's unhealthy (So Bacon you follow this advice yourself yes? Hahaha, shhhh now) and although you might need some closure and answers, sometimes things just don't work out.

It sounds like she doesn't really know what she wants herself (I mean I don't know her obviously) so perhaps she needs a bit of time and space to figure that out.

I'm also glad you feel that you could've posted this here, and that you're among friends who do want to help if they can.

All the best brother brother.

[LaGoosh]

3 hours ago, Matthew said:

there’d be a day where she’d pick an issue that concerned her. It could be her thinking I’m a fussy eater, that I game, that I have a good friend that’s female that I’ve never had anything with, among a couple other things.

I know you're disappointed Matthew but this bit concerns me a bit and is in my book unacceptable. Being unhappy with your habits, interests and friendships to me (especially this early into the relationship) feel like red flags and behaviour that would no doubt have increased over time. It might not feel like it right now but I think you may have dodged a bullet without realising it, mate.