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The Relationship Thread


Ron&Hermione

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2 hours ago, patiirc said:

They've previously been sectioned with psychosis twice, and had recently been paranoid about everyone watching them all the time.

Considering that you're apparently possibly autistic, have ADHD, autophobia, EUPD and suicidal thoughts I would suggest that perhaps relationships with someone that previously (currently?) suffered from paranoid psychosis isn't the wisest move.

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Wow what utter bad luck. Yet another partner of pats has a totally unprovoked mental breakdown. I’m sure it’s just a coincidence and not the result of a narcissistic predator targeting vulnerable people. And there you go, that’s all the attention I’m giving you. 

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50 minutes ago, Keith Houchen said:

Wow what utter bad luck. Yet another partner of pats has a totally unprovoked mental breakdown. I’m sure it’s just a coincidence and not the result of a narcissistic predator targeting vulnerable people. And there you go, that’s all the attention I’m giving you. 

Thanks, that is really insightful. I'm up for names of things so can change and get help.

 

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1 hour ago, LaGoosh said:

Considering that you're apparently possibly autistic, have ADHD, autophobia, EUPD and suicidal thoughts I would suggest that perhaps relationships with someone that previously (currently?) suffered from paranoid psychosis isn't the wisest move.

No, I'm not thinking straight.

You are right though that's a recipe for disaster.

Missed the bluntness of this place.

Thanks everyone, less confused now *thumbs up*

 

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  • 2 months later...

My fiancee has broken up with me after six years together. 

What a weird sentence to type. I'm probably realistically in a state of shock right now, and just posting here in addition to talking with friends and family (who I do have thankfully) to give myself catharsis and something to do. 

Realistically it was in the mail for about a year, maybe more, but I honestly never thought it would come to this. I'm completely heartbroken and blindsided. Whilst I know a certain amount of it will be her own mechanism to deal with the situation, the way she changed in our last week together is something I'm going to have trouble forgetting. Switched off, distant, our usual dynamic of conversation and made up language completely gone. And she cheated on me at a work convention last Saturday night. 

To give you a blurb: I've had some anxiety issues for the past year and a half or so since moving to Dublin, which has meant that whilst I've held down a great job and have still gone to gigs and stuff, I've probably not been as adventurous as I would have liked. It caused me to retreat into a bit of a shell, whilst her life was going the opposite trajectory. I uprooted myself from Cork (okay not the biggest journey, but it's near and dear to me) so she could land her dream job up here. Specialist field. She's not famous or anything but it's a proper "You made it" type thing that she fought tooth and nail for. 

I have to be careful here because I don't want to shit on making something of yourself, but to my mind she's become utterly career obsessed and goal oriented to the point where she's walled herself against her emotions and what we've built together. We were completely, completely in love to the point of a sort of new age nausea. And now because she's gotten tired of looking back to see me trying to catch up, I've found myself seemingly blackballed. 

I've tried everything in my power over the last week or so to convince her to stay. She was in my position when we first met, and I helped her. I moved here to help her. I told her that I understood how my inaction over the last while set the table for the cheating. That it'd be something we can work through. Nothing. "I did it because he was doing something you weren't."

It's just completely done. I'm not saying I didn't have a part to play in it, but I'm completely sidelined by how she's not willing to give it a chance. And yes, of course, as much as I wanted us to stay together as soon as we broke off I immediately reverted to the "Well, it's just a shame you ended it by being a cheat" narrative. 

In the past two hours I've done a shakedown of the gaf for all my things in record time. I know in the long run I've probably saved myself years of aggro here. There's probably some nights of anguish ahead for me in the next few weeks and months but fuck it. Just trying to keep as busy as possible for now. 

Really had to get that off my chest to a bunch of strangers on a wrestling forum so thanks! I welcome any reflections/ideas/how people in similar situations handled getting over it. 

Edited by Gay as FOOK
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I'm really, really sorry to hear that pal.

The only advice I can give you is that you have been through a traumatic experience and as such, you need to recognise that and be kind to yourself when processing certain things/emotions/situations.

And also (cliche alert and everyone is different) time really does heal wounds) 

I know you're hurting right now, and grieving for your past, but one day you won't and it won't hurt anywhere near as much as it does today, so try to remember that (I know its hard in the present)

Sending you all my love. I hope you're OK.

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Sorry to hear that, fella. If it means anything you noted the writing was on the wall for a year so maybe it needed one of you to make the ending happen. Retreat, regather, return. Maybe head back to Cork for a few days to see old mates and clear the head, so you can start a new journey. Hope you’re ok. 

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Thanks chaps I appreciate it!

You're absolutely right Keith. At the end of the day she made a decision I probably would have spent fuck knows how much time in the future thinking about. She's allowed fall out of love with me, and the fact that it didn't work means I would have had an incredibly difficult time loving the person she has become. 

Back to Cork with permanency in the next few days hopefully. I've always had second city syndrome. Dublin's a kip!  

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Sorry to hear that mate. Not quite the same boat but my marriage of 10 years ended last Jan, I left her but on reflection we both knew it was done.
 

Healing a heartbreak isn’t linear though and you will be up and down for a while and you know what mate, that is ok. You have your friends and family as you said and they will be ready to support you. It’s never easy to begin with but it will slowly get better. 
 

you also have us but that is probably a negative you don’t need to hear right now. Thinking of you man, be strong. 

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31 minutes ago, Joe Blog said:

Sorry to hear that mate. Not quite the same boat but my marriage of 10 years ended last Jan, I left her but on reflection we both knew it was done.
 

Healing a heartbreak isn’t linear though and you will be up and down for a while and you know what mate, that is ok. You have your friends and family as you said and they will be ready to support you. It’s never easy to begin with but it will slowly get better. 
 

you also have us but that is probably a negative you don’t need to hear right now. Thinking of you man, be strong. 

Ha, it says it all that over a week I could have sunk into bad habits, I actually stopped going on Reddit and reading the news. 

But came here. 

Every day. 

All power to you as well! Be well. 

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