Undefeated Steak Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 This is exactly why I'm single and will likely never have a nice girlfriend. Sat on a bench in York waiting for a meeting and a cute girl gave me a smile and then spent extra long unlocking her bike next to me. As in the length of time a person with any balls would say hello. I didn't, I just logged on here to tell you guys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Chest Rockwell Posted February 24, 2015 Moderators Share Posted February 24, 2015 You should just pretend to be gay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members mim731 Posted February 24, 2015 Paid Members Share Posted February 24, 2015 Anyone got any recommendations for a good dating site/app? I'm pretty much done with pof now too many timewasters  If you pay for whatever site you use, you can weed out the timewasters. I used the Guardian Soulmates site and met my wife through it just under 4 and a half years ago, so it does work sometimes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Undefeated Steak Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 You should just pretend to be gay. I'm blaming reading this post yesterday on the most disturbing dream I've ever had last night Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stunner Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 Nah... I'm cutting this long story short. Â I'm in love with a girl, everything leads me to believe she reciprocates. She has a boyfriend but their relationship is, from what I have observed, pretty much dead but they're both too scared to end it. I want to tell her the truth just so I can get an answer to all this but I don't want to be the bastard getting her to leave someone. Â What should I do?! Â Â Â Â Yeah, it's the only thing to do. The thing that makes it so tricky for me is that we've become really close friends as well. Sometimes it actually feels like we're "together" in a way, albeit not physically, for we're doing stuff all the time: gigs, lunch/dinner, just casual stuff, and it's always just the two of us. We talk practically every day... I know that I have to tell her, but I'm not just hesitant about the boyfriend thing but because I'm scared to lose what we already have, I guess. Â Â Â Thanks, everyone. I told her how I felt last night and her response wasn't what IÂ hoped, but it is what I expected - she's absolutely not the type to make a rash decision on a whim. I'm disappointed, of course, and a little bit embarrassed as well, but I'm also a fair bit relieved that there are no presumptions and what-if's any more. The ball is in her court, she knows how I feel - and if it's true what others have been saying and that she feels the same way and has professed as much in drunken sincerity - then she'll have to think pretty deep about what next... Â Cheers for the encouragement, though. I know what I had to do but was too worried! Â Bit of an update on all this: after I admitted my feelings to her on the Sunday, I messaged her again on Wednesday asking if we were still friends, and began talking as if nothing happened. Next time I saw her was at a gathering last Friday - she got drunk, admitted she felt the same (getting bolder throughout the evening) though did pretty much suggest she wasn't going to leave her boyfriend. However as the evening wore on she got more than a little bold about what I had said, and began nagging about how I should "say it again", how she "knows what would make me happy" and I should "just say it". And, truth be told, I was quite surprised at how gleeful she is about the whole situation. Thing is, I've had flings and non-serious relationships but I've never actually had a proper, serious relationship before, probably bad going at 24 but it's something I was perfectly content to "find me" when the time was right. But at the cost of me not really getting what she's wanting here - whether she's simply loving the attention, or if she's essentially challenging me to make an ultimatum or something. Â Anyway, we're going to a fucking West End musical soon (the things you bloody do), so I think the best thing to do is gauge how she is with me entirely sober, especially after last weeks' show. We're part of a group holiday thing next month as well, so I'm thinking I have four days away to try and get a serious, final answer. But I'm out of my depth here, truth be told. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Coconut Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 (edited) You're not out of your depth. You've already done the hard bit, now you just wait and see what comes of it. And don't you dare push for a final answer. She needs to make that decision on her own terms. Edited March 6, 2015 by King Coconut Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guy Bifkin Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 Sounds like you'll be ploughing through her beanfield in no time at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GPW Kristian Zane Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 In my experience, be wary of her not breaking things off with her boyfriend but I think this will work out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators neil Posted March 6, 2015 Moderators Share Posted March 6, 2015 Bit of an update on all this: after I admitted my feelings to her on the Sunday, I messaged her again on Wednesday asking if we were still friends, and began talking as if nothing happened. Next time I saw her was at a gathering last Friday - she got drunk, admitted she felt the same (getting bolder throughout the evening) though did pretty much suggest she wasn't going to leave her boyfriend. However as the evening wore on she got more than a little bold about what I had said, and began nagging about how I should "say it again", how she "knows what would make me happy" and I should "just say it". And, truth be told, I was quite surprised at how gleeful she is about the whole situation. Thing is, I've had flings and non-serious relationships but I've never actually had a proper, serious relationship before, probably bad going at 24 but it's something I was perfectly content to "find me" when the time was right. But at the cost of me not really getting what she's wanting here - whether she's simply loving the attention, or if she's essentially challenging me to make an ultimatum or something. Anyway, we're going to a fucking West End musical soon (the things you bloody do), so I think the best thing to do is gauge how she is with me entirely sober, especially after last weeks' show. We're part of a group holiday thing next month as well, so I'm thinking I have four days away to try and get a serious, final answer. But I'm out of my depth here, truth be told.   Missed the most important bit:  If I was going to give you advice, I'd say bring up how you feel, and then literally walk away. If she comes back to you single then great.  You at great risk of getting utterly fucked with here. You're going to be spending time with a girl who has a boyfriend (is the boyfriend going on the group holiday too?) and is clearly toying with you at the moment. This is why I suggested leaving it alone until she's actually single. Beware. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian 86 Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 Missed the most important bit: Â If I was going to give you advice, I'd say bring up how you feel, and then literally walk away. If she comes back to you single then great. You at great risk of getting utterly fucked with here. You're going to be spending time with a girl who has a boyfriend (is the boyfriend going on the group holiday too?) and is clearly toying with you at the moment. This is why I suggested leaving it alone until she's actually single. Beware. What Neil said, a thousand times over. You won't 'win' while the situation is like this - been there, tried it, lost, tried again, and lost again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Coconut Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 Bollocks. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stunner Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 Thanks again, everyone.   Bit of an update on all this: after I admitted my feelings to her on the Sunday, I messaged her again on Wednesday asking if we were still friends, and began talking as if nothing happened. Next time I saw her was at a gathering last Friday - she got drunk, admitted she felt the same (getting bolder throughout the evening) though did pretty much suggest she wasn't going to leave her boyfriend. However as the evening wore on she got more than a little bold about what I had said, and began nagging about how I should "say it again", how she "knows what would make me happy" and I should "just say it". And, truth be told, I was quite surprised at how gleeful she is about the whole situation. Thing is, I've had flings and non-serious relationships but I've never actually had a proper, serious relationship before, probably bad going at 24 but it's something I was perfectly content to "find me" when the time was right. But at the cost of me not really getting what she's wanting here - whether she's simply loving the attention, or if she's essentially challenging me to make an ultimatum or something. Anyway, we're going to a fucking West End musical soon (the things you bloody do), so I think the best thing to do is gauge how she is with me entirely sober, especially after last weeks' show. We're part of a group holiday thing next month as well, so I'm thinking I have four days away to try and get a serious, final answer. But I'm out of my depth here, truth be told.   Missed the most important bit:  If I was going to give you advice, I'd say bring up how you feel, and then literally walk away. If she comes back to you single then great.  You at great risk of getting utterly fucked with here. You're going to be spending time with a girl who has a boyfriend (is the boyfriend going on the group holiday too?) and is clearly toying with you at the moment. This is why I suggested leaving it alone until she's actually single. Beware.   Oh yeah, I'm being wary. The musical had been an "idea" for a while, and the trip has been booked for months. Her boyfriend isn't among the five of us going, however two of them are clearly not so keen on the idea of her leaving her boyfriend (not that they know much about it, other than the fact that they've both clearly moved on but they quite like her boyfriend, so think keeping them together is doing them a favour or something) so it's going to be a weird situation to wrestle with. But yes, as far as I'm concerned these two occasions are "it". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members FLips Posted March 6, 2015 Paid Members Share Posted March 6, 2015 Neil's right though. I know some on here frown at the term "friend zone", but you're getting friend zoned. Wouldn't have happened if you walked away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Coconut Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 How the fuck is he getting friend zoned? Everything he's said so far gives the impression that she's interested. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators neil Posted March 6, 2015 Moderators Share Posted March 6, 2015 How the fuck is he getting friend zoned? Everything he's said so far gives the impression that she's interested. Â No, her being drunk led to that impression, and the fact is she is still with her boyfriend. Â It's not so much of a friend zone, but more that Stunner is very likely to be led up the garden path. He's told her that he is into her, however she feels really isn't going to be influenced by him hanging around with her more. She has to leave her boyfriend because anything that happens before she does is just going to lead to a really shit situation. At best she'll hurt him, at worst she'll completely string him along and fuck with his head. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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