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Ron&Hermione

The Relationship Thread

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It took me a fucking age to get over my ex. We'd been together since we were in Year 9 at school (so we were what, 14?) until we were 22/23. And we'd been through loads in that time. When we split I couldn't shake the shitty feeling for at least two or three years and I just bounced around from bad idea to bad idea relationship wise, just because I hated being 'on my own' even though I had loads of family and friends around me. I thought being with almost any girl was better than being single. But the whole time I was in these short-lived car wreck relationships I was still pining after my ex like a pathetic little kid. If I saw her around, it fucking ruined my whole day and I'd over-analyse what she was doing. Like if I saw her in a supermarket buying food I'd jump to the conclusion that she's met someone and they're probably having dinner and lots of sex for pudding and he's probably got a bigger cock than me and more money and a car and they'll sit in bed having a good post-shag laugh about me...

 

You can send yourself absolutely mental with that type of shit. She was just buying food for fuck's sake. And I let it build into some mad situation in my head.

 

It's easy to say but just try not to overthink stuff and try keep yourself busy with positive things, friends and family. For me every time I'd be alone I'd start dissecting everything and driving myself mad.

 

Speaking of exes though -

 

My wife's ex is a complete and utter cunt. I came home from work on Tuesday to find my wife shaking and looking really pale. This prick used to beat her up (to the point he did time for it). It turns out he's got family or a friend or something on our road and my wife was out with my daughter, as she was coming back she saw him and it's brought it all back. She said he didn't say anything but he just stood there smirking. And that was enough. I'd never seen her how she was on Tuesday. She'd already told me all about him but to see how shaken and terrified she was was horrible. Now she's putting a brave face on but I can tell she's scared to answer the door and she's worried he'll start hanging around more. Which legally, he has to stay away from her but what's legal or illegal hasn't seemed to stop him before.

Edited by wandshogun09

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Cheers for the responses, some good stuff in them, I know it will get there, I haven't and cannot see her anyway cos of the police crap so it's better in that respects as it means literal no contact. I will always love her to some degree ( not in the relationship sense but in the fondness sense), because that relationship allowed me to finally get my arse into gear and be an adult, work through my gender crap and finally be happy as a person despite the afters.

 

After posting here last night, I did what every good person did and went out with some mates on an impromptu night out, got veryily drunk had fun, danced like a twat and then came home. Bumped in to the ex's ex  (Kids Dad) as well which was fun for about the five seconds he could stand being in the same space as me before getting kicked out of the club for being a dick. He then had the temerity to text our mutual friend for the rest of the night bemoaning how evil I am and how I ruined his night. So Devil Horn Implants for the win, lol

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So Devil Horn Implants for the win, lol

 

Sorry, what?

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anyone on here use online dating? I have a paid subscription to match.com, but i have not recieved a single message or a reply to any i have sent in nearly 2 months (99% sure its becasue i am short and am ugly as sin)

 

what are peoples experiences of sites like that?

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So Devil Horn Implants for the win, lol

 

Sorry, what?

 

 

It's a line from a Pitchshifter song.  I said it because clearly I am pure evil, and thus may as well go the whole hog and get some. Image to uphold and all that :)

 

 

 

anyone on here use online dating? I have a paid subscription to match.com, but i have not recieved a single message or a reply to any i have sent in nearly 2 months (99% sure its becasue i am short and am ugly as sin)

 

what are peoples experiences of sites like that?

 

I have done and have found a few people on there, though nothing long term and have had some torrid flings! In short many people tend to be looking for the impossible on dating sites and expect their dream catch to fall into their lap. Doesn't work like that in RL nor should it online. Match, Zoosk, E-Harmony, PoF etc are much of a muchness and you have to be proactive to get anywhere. Lasses usually get about 50 billion messages off men irrespective of how the lass looks. It's not always about looks for a man, but it's a big thing in what is basically an online CV. Refine your patter, don't send the same message twice, inject some humour into your messages and some one will reply at some point. There are plenty of advice sites for how to structure messages and stuff if you want to take a look. just be natural and good luck with your quest!

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anyone on here use online dating? I have a paid subscription to match.com, but i have not recieved a single message or a reply to any i have sent in nearly 2 months (99% sure its becasue i am short and am ugly as sin)

 

what are peoples experiences of sites like that?

Been on a few sites. Mainly POF and I've had similar experiences. Contact being initiated by women is rare in my case and when it is, I'm often not interested. Had a few brief relationships but nothing long term. The lack of responses is starting to bother me a bit. Really need to work on my profile and messages.

 

Tend to find I've had more success after the girl initiates the contact which like I say, is rare in my case. Can anyone recomend a dating site that they can say is far and away much better than all the others? Really not sure about POF anymore and only use it because it's free.

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I am in a near-two year relationship which started on PoF.

 

I had been sending creative and original messages to women, looking at their write ups and tailoring what I said so it soaked potential talking points. Some success, mostly being ignored because women get bombarded with crap on there every day.

 

As it turns out, my girlfriend got in touch with me first. That was 6 years ago and we went out for 2 months before she dumped me. We kept in touch and things started up again in March 2013 after we had both been in toxic relationships. We're now doing really well, moved in together and are talking heavily about the future.

 

Dating sites can work but free ones are a frustrating minefield. After all, you get what you pay for.

Edited by freaky

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So i am with my girlfriend for a year now.

 

All going well, a few minor disagreements which are to be expected but overall it's going great.

 

I am very happy with her. 

 

Here is the issue......

 

 

I've never cheated on someone and i have never been cheated on. But i've been having a reoccurring dream of sorts where i do cheat on her.

 

I've had this dream about 6 times and with different girls each time.  I have no doubts about her that she would cheat, and i've never even consciously thought about cheating. I think it's a bit of a scummy move to be honest but i don't know why i keep dreaming about this?

 

 

 

Anybody have any ideas what might be going on?

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Nothing is going on, you're just having dirty dreams.  You're not responsible for your dreams, and they don't represent suppressed desires or anything, it's just your brain de-fuzzing.  Enjoy, that's what I say.

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I have had dreams like that recently too, usually about me and my wife's friends. I just told her about it and we have a laugh about it. Secretly she's probably planning to murder every last one of them.

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Yeah, all seems perfectly normal. I think my wife would be more worried if I hadn't thought about her friends and family (fit ones, natch).

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anyone on here use online dating? I have a paid subscription to match.com, but i have not recieved a single message or a reply to any i have sent in nearly 2 months (99% sure its becasue i am short and am ugly as sin)

 

what are peoples experiences of sites like that?

Put up a pic in a suit, I did Last week and had more messages first than in the rest of the year put together

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I used Match for a couple of months, had a couple of dates and saw both a few times. The one seemed really nice but I'm not really cut out for a relationship.

 

I was surprised I got interest, being chubby, ugly and possessing the charm, whit and personality of a septic haemorrhoid.

 

I definitely found that having people pay for Match cut out timewasters and piss takers.

Edited by Tommy!

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