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I'm sure we had a thread about musicals being rubbish before...


Devon Malcolm

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2 hours ago, Keith Houchen said:

They’ve veered into Lloyd Webber territory, the lowest of the low. 

The old Tim Vine joke, Andrew Lloyd Webber walked into burger king and asked for a double whopper, I said you look good and your musicals are great.

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2 hours ago, King Coconut said:

I joined an am-dram troupe as a teenager to get my end away. It wasn't worth it. 

As did I. 

A girl I was quite fond of was a member and convinced me I should join. So I did, only to find she'd already left.
I did get with someone else though, who was super lovely, so it was worth it in the end.

I don't really do the West End / stage musicals much. I got taken to a bunch of Lloyd-Webber ones when I was young (Joseph, Starlight Express, Forbidden Planet), as well as a couple of local ones (Sweeney Todd! The phantom barber of Fleet.......Street) and they're enjoyable enough, but they wouldn't be my first choice.

I have seen Rocky Horror on stage a couple of times, including when Richard O'Brien was the narrator.

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A few years ago I went to see Rocket Man, the Elton John film. I hadn’t bothered watching any trailers because I figured  “he’s had a right old life has Elton, and if there’s any clips of live shows that’ll be ace” expecting it to be quite the rollercoaster story of sex drugs and rock n’ roll. I wasn’t expecting a musical where people have choreographed pub fight / dance to Saturday Night’s Alright for Fighting. If id known it was a musical going in… well, I wouldn’t have gone in, but at least it wouldn’t have had that shock which really did stay with me for some time. Awful, awful experience.

Edited by Harry Wiseau
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Only musicals I've ever enjoyed have been Jersey Boys (which basically comes down to me liking The Four Seasons' songs), Oliver! (because it's a staple of childhood, and Ron Moody was great as Fagin), South Park, and that's probably it. I reckon I'd probably enjoy Avenue Q, maybe Book of Mormon, but I'm not overly bothered about ever going to see them.

I didn't hate The Rocky Horror Picture Show (it's hard to hate something with Susan Sarandon vamping it up in it) but I wasn't enamoured of it. The music was good, but it felt more like an album than a score that belonged in a show. 

Other than that, can't stand musicals - I don't like them as shows, and I don't like how so many of them, including particularly awful ones, can run for ages in the West End while so many excellent plays struggle to maintain a run of even a few weeks. Thriller Live is a case in point - despite having a score of some of the most memorable and fun songs ever, it was absolute dross and had no real creativity at all; it ran for nine fucking years at the Lyric on Shaftesbury Avenue (in fairness, it was on the verge of closing when MJ carked it, and then it was sold out for the next ten months - even had a fucking shrine to him out front). 

 

Unsurprising ALW anecdote: when I worked front-of-house at the Lyric, it was just after it had been bought from Lloyd-Webber's Really Useful Theatre group, so the senior staff remember him, including the fire officer, who told me about one particular occasion, when one of the usher came in on a weekend (a double show day) to work stage door in the morning, cellar duty (i.e. taking delivery of all the booze for the bars and moving it all to the stockroom) straight after, then the matinée and soirée shows as normal, and cellar duty in between shows (obviously, this was all for extra pay). Because she'd been working solidly pretty much all day, the manager had told her she could get her meal during the second show. 

During that time, Lloyd-Webber was doing the rounds of the theatre, basically noting and picking at things. He saw this woman on her well-earned meal break, and, without even asking anyone what the situation was, just walked up to her and said "I don't pay you to sit around eating". Even after the manager explained to him, he made her get back on shift. It was only after he fucked off that she could get back to her meal.

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Lloyd Webber also flew first class from the US to London so he could attend the House of Lords and vote to make sure benefit claimants lives were made harder, and trousered the 300 quid for the trouble. 
I remember Kevin Spacey asked when the BBC were going to commission hour long adverts that ran for months for other theatres like they do for Lloyd Webbers latest. When Kevin Fucking Spacey points out you’re a wrongun, you’re a wrongun. Frog faced Tory cunt. 

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8 minutes ago, Keith Houchen said:

Lloyd Webber also flew first class from the US to London so he could attend the House of Lords and vote to make sure benefit claimants lives were made harder, and trousered the 300 quid for the trouble. 
I remember Kevin Spacey asked when the BBC were going to commission hour long adverts that ran for months for other theatres like they do for Lloyd Webbers latest. When Kevin Fucking Spacey points out you’re a wrongun, you’re a wrongun. Frog faced Tory cunt. 

Remember how he also declared he'd risk going to prison to open up theatres again in defiance of lockdown, and then refused, urging other theatre owners to do it?

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2 hours ago, Hannibal Scorch said:

Is anyone in musical theatre more overrated then Andrew Lloyd Webber? I know Phantom is a staple, but everything else seems to die off pretty quickly, even his Phantom Sequel.

My dad, I’m sure shamelessly stolen, told me a joke of Andrew Lloyd Webber walking into a Burger King and asking for 2 Whoppers and the server replied “Your Musicals are good and your a handsome man”. What can I say, it made me laugh as a kid. 

 

I'm knicking that Lloyd Webber joke. Top notch my man.

Edited by bAzTNM#1
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I went to see the Back To The Future musical a few weeks ago and it was actually alright. Apart from all the singing, obviously - that was shit. 
 

Well, I say it was alright - the live special effects were good. Especially in the final act. The first half was a bit of a slog. I’m glad I didn’t pay for my ticket though. 

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The idea of adapting existing, established films into musicals, like they did with Back To The Future, is my idea of Hell.

It's as if someone saw the episode of The Simpsons with Stop The Planet Of The Apes, I Want To Get Off and didn't realise it was meant to be a joke.

Wicked can fuck off too.

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Little Shop of Horrors is the exception to the really boring, overproduced, woeful rule.

Edit: That said, Across the Universe and Blinded by the Light were a hoot. Basically, musicals are only good if I like the music in them.

Edited by Frankie Crisp
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