Covid-19 Megathread

[Mr_Danger]

Surely the lyrics " I'm not the man they think I am at home" is more apt for a Johnson send off.

Strangely you'd think the Royal Mail would be all over this with information about avoiding it considering we come in to contact with all sorts all day long but absolutely nothing has been sent down.

Imagine how much second hand slobber we come in to contact with on a daily basis, and that's just the lonely housewives. Me brass hand etc.

 

Edited March 11, 2020 by Mr_Danger

[FLips]

Went to Tesco for a few bits there and they have no toilet roll or pasta. Bizarre. 

[King Coconut]

20 hours ago, Keith Houchen said:

Wow! That Wuhan clan ain’t nothin’ to fuck with. 

Fake news! Busta Rhymes has got them all in check. 

[PunkStep]

6 hours ago, quote the raven said:

I wonder if vat will be cut later. 

I doubt it. Over the past 10 years we've seen interest rates plummet and then recently go up and down a little, VAT has still sat at 20% throughout. In fact, didn't it go up to 20% from 17.5% around the time of the recession?

[Kaz Hayashi]

21 hours ago, Factotum said:

Is the stockpiling of toilet roll based on how much wanking will increase when we're all working from home for a month?

Just ask our good man @SuperBacon he’s always searching for our newest content ?

[Jazzy G]

2 hours ago, PunkStep said:

I doubt it. Over the past 10 years we've seen interest rates plummet and then recently go up and down a little, VAT has still sat at 20% throughout. In fact, didn't it go up to 20% from 17.5% around the time of the recession?

Went down to 15%, then up to 20% from there. 

[Chilly McFreeze]

4 hours ago, johnnyboy said:

With every company and their cat either activating or adding Teams to their Office 365 tenancy even MS are struggling with the huge surge in demand.  Even the cloud has finite resources eventually.

We've actually been told to use Teams for group chats and calls as hardly anyone uses it to lightens the load on skype. Problem is no one is ever logged onto it as it's only recently been rolled out.

I've actually got a sore throat today, feels like the start of a cold so I'm staying at home regardless. No cough yet so hopeful it's nothing serious but I don't want dirty looks every time i blow my nose or suck on a Halls Soother.

[PunkStep]

18 minutes ago, jazzygeofferz said:

Went down to 15%, then up to 20% from there. 

So it did. How long was it at 15% for? Months?

[gmoney]

14 minutes ago, PunkStep said:

So it did. How long was it at 15% for? Months?

Just over a year. 

[Onyx2]

35 minutes ago, johnnyboy said:

The best feature in Teams is that you can reply in the group chat with memes.

No, the best feature of Teams is being able to blur your background so no one can see the 8x10s of you hugging Paige you have in your home office. 

[Factotum]

Yes I've used the blur background a few times on Teams, just to add a bit of mystery and in no way to disguise I am in the pub at 2 on a Tuesday

[Hannibal Scorch]

We’re using Zoom a lot at the moment. The Virtual Green Screen gets used frequently for team calls. Look boss, I’m in Vegas!

[quote the raven]

My work are getting ready to re issue our ID cards so we can get to work in event of a lockdown under urgent care staff. 

[Monkee]

We’ve now been segregated at work - those who work in direct contact with the children and families we support (it’s a hospice) who are on one side of the building and all non-care staff on the other side of the building. The coffee machine is in No Man’s Land though so I’m not sure how that’s going to work out. The building is covered in signs like ‘Please wash your hands’, ‘Have you washed your hands?’, ‘Wash your damn hands!’, ‘Wash.Hands!’, ‘HANDS!!!’ I think it’s only a matter of time before we’re all issues with hazmat suits.

[PunkStep]

Tom Hanks has the coronavirus ?