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Utterly shit adverts


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"Eat them to defeat them".

It's on Sky every fucking ad break, and it's the most cringeworthy, obviously pandering bullshit, aimed at children, but that no children would ever possibly fall for. Undoubtedly the result of a room full of childless marketing execs, or execs who never see their kids, guessing at what kids might find cool.

Edited by BomberPat
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I'd never seen it until you mentioned it (for some raisin Sky Sports tend to just have betting adverts and ones for themselves where an incredibly bored sounding man monotonously implores the viewer to "feel it all") and definitely would agree with that assessment. I'm still convinced marketing exec must be the easiest role on the planet.

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I’m watching The Shield on All4 and there is some betting ad with Harry fucking foreskin for eyelids Redknapp. Total shite ad but you’d think someone who appeared in Dream Team would have the acting chops to deliver “Yes, get in there” a bit better. I hate that whole family. 

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16 minutes ago, BomberPat said:

"Eat them to defeat them".

It's on Sky every fucking ad break, and it's the most cringeworthy, obviously pandering bullshit, aimed at children, but that no children would ever possibly fall for. Undoubtedly the result of a room full of childless marketing execs, or execs who never see their kids, guessing at what kids might find cool.

Apt

 

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23 minutes ago, BomberPat said:

"Eat them to defeat them".

It's on Sky every fucking ad break, and it's the most cringeworthy, obviously pandering bullshit, aimed at children, but that no children would ever possibly fall for. Undoubtedly the result of a room full of childless marketing execs, or execs who never see their kids, guessing at what kids might find cool.

One of my evergreen bugbears is how much marketing for kids products is now blatantly aimed at the parent instead, acting like the child's not even in the room.

It extends to teenagers, too, with that godawful Center Parcs ad narrated by the girl describing herself as a typical mardy teen till this wonderful and cost-effective family holiday made her snap the fuck out of it. CRINGE. I'd have been posting dog turds to Center Parcs if I'd seen that ad at her supposed age.

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It's an interesting inversion on how kids' adverts used to work - it used to be that they knew kids would be plonked in front of the TV to give the parents a moment's sanity, so the adverts would be telling the kids how cool something is, so that they then go and pester their parents to buy it. Maybe as kids, and especially teens, are now less likely to be watching traditional telly, they've found that doesn't work any more, so it's better to talk directly to the grown-ups.

The "eat them to defeat them" thing is a terrible attempt at the former, though - trying to make it seem cool to eat vegetables by trying to make it sound like a Marvel movie or some shit, but it's just a horrific misread on how children (or any children I know, at least) actually think. Any child watching it isn't going to be suckered in at all. 

I was thinking about this recently, and how a lot of it comes down to the blanket grouping of "Kids" as an identity that any child watching it would associate themselves with. I don't remember, at that age, ever thinking that "Kid" was an identity I would apply to myself, or identify with in any meaningful sense, in the way that advertisers seem to think it is.

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1 hour ago, lanky316 said:

I'd never seen it until you mentioned it (for some raisin Sky Sports tend to just have betting adverts and ones for themselves where an incredibly bored sounding man monotonously implores the viewer to "feel it all") and definitely would agree with that assessment. I'm still convinced marketing exec must be the easiest role on the planet.

"Eat them to defeat them"

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1 hour ago, BomberPat said:

I don't remember, at that age, ever thinking that "Kid" was an identity I would apply to myself, or identify with in any meaningful sense, in the way that advertisers seem to think it is.

Of course not. Kidz, on the other hand...

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Me and the Mrs were talking about the Eat Them To Defeat them ad last night and how shite and pointless it was and how there was no chance our kids would fall for it. It's like Jamie Oliver and the time he told a bunch of kids "Looks at all the bones and beaks and shite in these nuggets. Now, who wants one" and all the kids put their hands up. Kids aren't daft and that sort of tact just won't wash.

I say go old school. My parents would mix veg in to other food to hide it, lie about what I was eating ("That's not liver, it's burger meat") or tell me if I ate all my tinned beans and sausages I would grow up to become a cowboy.

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7 minutes ago, cobra_gordo said:

Me and the Mrs were talking about the Eat Them To Defeat them ad last night and how shite and pointless it was and how there was no chance our kids would fall for it. It's like Jamie Oliver and the time he told a bunch of kids "Looks at all the bones and beaks and shite in these nuggets. Now, who wants one" and all the kids put their hands up. Kids aren't daft and that sort of tact just won't wash.

I say go old school. My parents would mix veg in to other food to hide it, lie about what I was eating ("That's not liver, it's burger meat") or tell me if I ate all my tinned beans and sausages I would grow up to become a cowboy.

I now know where the ridiculous line in McDonalds' charm offensive adverts about "they put beaks in McNuggets" comes from.

 

Speaking of charm offensive adverts, sick and tired of Amazon and "Donnas caaaakes"

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7 hours ago, cobra_gordo said:

My parents would mix veg in to other food to hide it, lie about what I was eating ("That's not liver, it's burger meat") 

I did this with daughter when she was about 3.


"I don't like carrots!"
"Those aren't carrots. They're slices of orange"
"Oh, alright then" <scoff>

 

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18 hours ago, lanky316 said:

I now know where the ridiculous line in McDonalds' charm offensive adverts about "they put beaks in McNuggets" comes from.

 

Speaking of charm offensive adverts, sick and tired of Amazon and "Donnas caaaakes"

I've found the footage, sadly he doesn't say "beaks and shit" but he's not far off. This clip also sadly misses off his sad, gormless expression after all the kids put their hands up.
 

 

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19 hours ago, lanky316 said:

I now know where the ridiculous line in McDonalds' charm offensive adverts about "they put beaks in McNuggets" comes from.

 

Speaking of charm offensive adverts, sick and tired of Amazon and "Donnas caaaakes"

"work hard, play hard have fun whilst doing the job!"

fuck right off.

 

yeah, I'm sick of it aswell.

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On 3/4/2020 at 4:43 PM, lanky316 said:

Speaking of charm offensive adverts, sick and tired of Amazon and "Donnas caaaakes"

I hate the one where the girl has a strop then kicks a ball about at 4am. The mother looks out the window and just puts the security lights on for her. 

If I was their neighbours I'd be getting alexa to call the police and get the daft bitch to stop waking the street up kicking a ball at the garden wall at fucking sparrows fart. 

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