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The Daily Shithouse


Keith Houchen

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4 minutes ago, Devon Malcolm said:

I get mine delivered.

Same. My wife will go shopping but if it’s left to me I just can’t be doing with it and end up getting it delivered. I’ve got no patience for the whole thing, especially in this type of heat, and because I just wanna get what we need and get out of there, I nearly always forget to buy some things. 

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I self checkout if I'm on my own, but similarly if I am out with Mrs Jazzy and someone complains because we've got 3 lots of shopping to do beyeern us and Mrs Jazzy struggles with her own mobility at the best of times then we're absolutely slowing right down and taking our time. 

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29 minutes ago, CAREBEAR LUVVA said:

Stewdogg knows. If you're leaving enough room behind you at the checkout that someone else can start piling their shit on before you've finished, you're loading the conveyor wrong. 

It generally happens when a new checkout has opened and I'm first in line. So I have to load at the front. Unless I just walk backwards and forwards to the trolley?

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30 minutes ago, Steve Justice said:

It generally happens when a new checkout has opened and I'm first in line. So I have to load at the front. Unless I just walk backwards and forwards to the trolley?

Just stop the trolley halfway along the checkout and load from the far end, the same as you would do if someone was in front of you. Just because you're first in line doesn't mean you have to walk right to the front of it. That sort of behaviour is almost as baffling as that lad who sits on the bog the wrong way round.

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If I've got a full trolly I start at least 2/3 up the belt anyway because all the heavy stuff at the bottom of the trolley needs to go through the till first and back in the bottom of the trolley. 

Breads normally on top, that's my breakwater and I work forwards towards the till. 

Or I did, I tend to have it delivered or go for bits on my bike now so I can confuse the self checkout with a bag and a basket on the scales. 

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Not sure it constitutes as shithousery. In Newcastle city centre and the shopping centres, there are arrows on the floor to keep traffic flowing in one direction. Basically, keep left. If someone’s walking against the arrows then I’ll just deliberately keep walking at them until they walk around, whilst I constantly glance down at the arrows between us, them, the arrows, hoping they take the hint. They don’t.

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  • 2 weeks later...
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Absolutely had enough of my 14yo going through tons of bog paper every day, especially because I like Cushelle for my sensitive bottom and it's about the most expensive bog paper you can get.

So I ordered a crate load of cheap, one ply shit off Amazon and put it in the toilet instead, hid the Cushelle in my bedroom, but kept a roll of Cushelle hidden on top of the bathroom cabinet for me to use when I go in for my daily dump.

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