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The Daily Shithouse


Keith Houchen

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51 minutes ago, Devon Malcolm said:

Absolutely had enough of my 14yo going through tons of bog paper every day, especially because I like Cushelle for my sensitive bottom and it's about the most expensive bog paper you can get.

So I ordered a crate load of cheap, one ply shit off Amazon and put it in the toilet instead, hid the Cushelle in my bedroom, but kept a roll of Cushelle hidden on top of the bathroom cabinet for me to use when I go in for my daily dump.

If it helps, we order tons of bog roll off Groupon for dirt-cheap, and, whilst it's not always guaranteed, we've had Cushelle delivered the most frequently. Maybe take a look there?

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At Christmas I got referred to a local dentist for an emergency appointment by NHS direct. When I rang her she asked why I needed a dentist (fair enough), what I expected her to do about it then told me there was a pandemic and I shouldn’t even ring her. (I had the tooth removed later that day by another dentist).

This week that dentist had her parcel dropped at another surgery by a patient (both surgeries are on my round) and the receptionist asked if I would pop it over for her to which I inspected it for postage and told her I couldn’t possibly deliver an unstamped parcel. She gave me a knowing look of understanding and as far as I know she still hasn’t received it.

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2 hours ago, Keith Houchen said:

Absolute top level shithousing here. You can’t help but admire the audacity 

 

That’s great, but the audacity is nothing compared to the guy who did it at Mandela’s funeral, remember that?!

Heres a bit of shithousery I saw the other day, apparently he couldn’t get tickets so….

 

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I was filling up my car at the petrol station the other day when a white van pulled in from the wrong side, my immediate thought was that they had got the wrong side for their fuel cap and couldn't he arsed waiting. 

The van stopped and a load of lads jumped out and headed toward my car. Fuck this I thought and proceeded to douse them, their van and sadly my car in petrol. They soon turned tail and legged it, I even managed to get a few shots into their open van door as they drove away. 

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7 minutes ago, Joe Blog said:

I was filling up my car at the petrol station the other day when a white van pulled in from the wrong side, my immediate thought was that they had got the wrong side for their fuel cap and couldn't he arsed waiting. 

The van stopped and a load of lads jumped out and headed toward my car. Fuck this I thought and proceeded to douse them, their van and sadly my car in petrol. They soon turned tail and legged it, I even managed to get a few shots into their open van door as they drove away. 

I saw footage of this on Twitter. Am I being whooshed?

 

EDIT 

 

Edited by Keith Houchen
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My girlfriends dad is a “Farage Enthusiast”, loves GBNews, hates minorities and anyone who disagrees with him is a snowflake, even tories. 
She wrapped up his Christmas present and signed the tag with “Happy Holidays”

EDIT @Joe Blog, just seen the Twitter thread. Good arrows. 

Edited by Keith Houchen
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