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Chippy Tea


Onyx2

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Excuse the quality of the pics, bad lighting in the kitchen.

have you got a medium haddock I asked? “No but can cook one” perfect.

got this:030EC31E-DA43-4FB1-B0B2-D6C07E46C9A4.thumb.jpeg.ae8a06147f715ff104ab63a122401302.jpeg

Thats on our big plate as well. Size of the thing! Couldn’t even get all the chips on the plate. 10/10.01C47338-AC3A-4768-9D9B-EA1117D28FC1.thumb.jpeg.23ae0d543a114232e338c11d183ef946.jpeg

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21 hours ago, waters44 said:

Any Northerners here had a “John Bull”? A video just popped up on my Instagram feed. Two layers of potato with mince in the middle and then deep fried. Seriously contemplating driving the three hours to Blackburn to try it

I heard of it when Bob Mortimer mentioned it on Athletico Mince, when they were talking about variations on the bean/beef rounder.

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I'm on the Isle of Wight on holiday, and as a treat before we go home tomorrow we got a lunchtime chippy tea from Wights in Ryde. Lads, it was a near religious experience. Fish was light, battered sausage was crispy, but not rock hard, chips were tremendous, curry sauce and mushy peas absolutely perfect. 

 

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I finally got time to try the fabled battered donner butty at the Silver Cod on Saturday. I headed into Norton near Middlesbrough, which is only famous for casting the original Big Ben bell and did such a shit job with it that it cracked within weeks of installation at Parliament. En route to the third-best chippy in Norton (there are four), the heavens opened with an almighty thunderstorm and I wondered if this was the food gods warning me not to get this delicacy. 

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I waited for the rain to ease and one of the counter staff sneaked out for a tab before I braved the weather and headed inside the chippy. The same member of staff asked what I would like and I asked for the battered donner butty. A wry smile came on her face and she grabbed a pre-margarined fadgie, loaded the bun with donner meat, and squirted garlic sauce on top before handing it over to the fry master. 

The fry master worked their magic covering the bun in batter and dipped it into the fryer for over five minutes. He brought the monstrosity to the counter and cut the butty in half, allowing the steam to escape violently like Mount Etna. the counter staff then wrapped it in four layers of paper. I took the food and headed to Norton Green, mainly because there was a defibrillator located there, but also it was the fabled site where I separated a fight between my dog Murray and an owl who were scrapping over a discarded kebab which felt apt.  I removed the first layer of paper and immediately I thought I was going to be in trouble. 

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The grease that accumulated on the paper already left me in shock, and I carefully unwrapped the rest of the ticking time bomb. I unsheathed the bastard and look at the size of the thing! I did not have a trusty UKFF fork with me, so I put a biro next to it for scale. 

 

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And here is the cross-section of this mighty beast. 

 

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On closer inspection, they added some chips to the bun, which I was guessing to regulate the heat for this big ball of cholesterol. I took my first bite and the immediate taste was grease. I did not pick up any spice from the donner meat or any tang from the garlic sauce. Parts of the donner meat escaped in the frying process and it was like a weird pork scratching/beef jerky hybrid which was one of the few highlights of this meal. 

I struggled through the first half and regretted not picking up a drink from the chippy as a cream soda or a shandy Bass would have been a much-needed palate cleanser. I grabbed the second half and I finally picked up some taste of the garlic mayo, but only in slight pockets of the myriad of lard. I managed three-quarters of the second half and I had to concede defeat. 

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In summary, this was fucking awful and I would not recommend it. I felt lousy for the following 24 hours and once it worked its way through my system..... well, lets leave that for the shitting thread for another time. 

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