Mr_Danger Posted April 16, 2020 Share Posted April 16, 2020 Big rubber dildo getting passed around the office today like a dirty Generation Game round. We know where you live, we know what you buy!* I'll keep you all informed on any further developments. *There's nothing wrong with buying whatever you like just remember a good few posties have fingered your goods so give it a wipe before use. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members tiger_rick Posted April 16, 2020 Paid Members Share Posted April 16, 2020 2 minutes ago, johnnyboy said: They tend to come vacuum sealed from the manufacturer. So I've heard. I have had to return the odd item at the Post Office though and I far preferred it when they didn't ask you what was in the box. Vibrators with dodgy USB ports are very 21st Century. I was behind a young woman in a packed post office a year or so ago when the woman asked her what was inside. She went bright red and said "Er, toys". After a bit of clarification and the woman turning somewhere near purple in the face, the woman behind the counter asked "Does it have batteries in it?" to much stifled laughter from the queue. Poor lass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr_Danger Posted April 16, 2020 Share Posted April 16, 2020 I'm convinced there's a cheap comedy dildo manufacturer that people use to send eachother monster cocks for a laugh. They're always in cheap grey plastic bag packaging and they are always adressed to blokes. One lad had a flurry of them sent to his flat that had a shared post box along a row of shops on the high street. The bastard got jammed in the letter box and as I pulled it out a big giant black rubber cock was revealed to all and sundry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members tiger_rick Posted April 16, 2020 Paid Members Share Posted April 16, 2020 Just now, Mr_Danger said: One lad had a flurry of them sent to his flat that had a shared post box along a row of shops on the high street. The bastard got jammed in the letter box and as I pulled it out a big giant black rubber cock was revealed to all and sundry. Did you leave it in one of those clear "Sorry, your package was damaged" bags? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr_Danger Posted April 16, 2020 Share Posted April 16, 2020 55 minutes ago, tiger_rick said: Did you leave it in one of those clear "Sorry, your package was damaged" bags? Well that is the protocol. Same happened with some tropical lube a girl had sent for herself at her dads estate agents. Wouldn't fancy seeing my daughters name on anything like that. @johnnyboy You're 100% right. The Post Office is a seperate entity but I've heard plenty of tales from the callers office from the time they'd deal with postage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Devon Malcolm Posted April 16, 2020 Paid Members Share Posted April 16, 2020 23 hours ago, Mr_Danger said: I had a parcel for a young chap today that was partially open revealing the top of the box with the words PENIS PUMP on it. Essential items indeed. Sorry about that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Tommy! Posted April 16, 2020 Paid Members Share Posted April 16, 2020 We once had an industrial size box of herbal viagra sent to the office. When the caretaker staff couldn't find the addressee they'd leave it with the team behind me to track down or open. Alongside books from amazon or replacement keyboards there was a jumbo box of Ed pills for someone on the top floor. To this day I'm not sure if it was a joke from someone or not but they sat under a desk for ages before going in the bin. Elsewhere we used an outsourced call center which also supported ann summers. The staff had to go on a course before they they started with special do' and dont's. It was apparently stressed that under no circumstances should they laugh at any complaint or inquiry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperBacon Posted April 16, 2020 Share Posted April 16, 2020 When I worked in recruitment, our Buying desk recruited pretty much the whole of Ann Summers Buying & Merchandising team, and were regularly sent boxes of stuff as thank yous. You should've seen the swarm around the packages when they arrived, including the *shudder* secretary who was about 70ish...Oh Pauline... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Tommy! Posted April 16, 2020 Paid Members Share Posted April 16, 2020 39 minutes ago, johnnyboy said: How good are you at negotiating volume prices on widgets when there's a massive arse paddle in your eyeline? I've missed my calling in life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members PunkStep Posted April 16, 2020 Paid Members Share Posted April 16, 2020 @johnnyboy You ever tried the 'private' shop up the road from Harlow football club? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WyattSheepMask Posted April 18, 2020 Share Posted April 18, 2020 Just been sent by the wife to investigate the strange noise coming from outside. It sounded like someone walking on the gravel stones. Turns out it was two hedgehogs fucking on our garden path Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Divorced Dad Posted April 18, 2020 Share Posted April 18, 2020 Wifey and I seem to have settled into a Saturday might routine recently. We'll find a movie to watch on Amazon or Netflix and watch it while having a few drinks. Once the movie ends we'll stick a Bruce Springsteen concert on YouTube and watch that while having a few more drinks. At the moment it's probably the highlight of my week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rey_Piste Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 I got woken up at about 3 this morning by what sounded like someone knocking over all the toiletries in my bathroom. Considering that I have a first floor flat and I live alone I was getting ready to tackle someone. A fucking seagull flew in through my partially open window and was flapping around knocking shit everywhere trying to get back out. So I spent a good 10 minutes trying to grapple a seagull while I am only wearing boxers in the middle of the night. The last thing I expected was to end up feeling like Tippy Hedren in the middle of the night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members waters44 Posted April 21, 2020 Paid Members Share Posted April 21, 2020 That reminds me of a really hot summers night a few years ago when I was living with my Grandparents. It was absolutely sweltering, I was in bed with all the windows open, and just as I was dropping off two police helicopters start buzzing above the house. I hear my Grandad start moaning and the front door opens so he’s obviously gone to see what the fuss is about. Ten minutes passed and he hasn’t come back, so I go out and walk around, eventually see a group of people all looking in the sky at these choppers. I walk towards them and see my Grandad with them, looking around and pointing in the sky....in just a pair of Richie Rich y-fronts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr_Danger Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 4 hours ago, Rey_Piste said: So I spent a good 10 minutes trying to grapple a seagull while I am only wearing boxers in the middle of the night. Whatever, Bumgull. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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