SuperBacon Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 I still lived at home for around 5 months after we had really decided to split up. Ironically towards the end of that periodĀ it was probably the best we'd got on since we met. We were talking, taking the kids out, enjoying each other's company, being intimate (and not just in THAT way), communicating, but we both knew I still had to leave. Dunno, maybe it was the pressure having been taken away that helped. Like we could just be friends and have a laugh without having to be husband and wife. Anyhoo, life goes on.Ā Ā Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Kaz Hayashi Posted November 8, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted November 8, 2017 Dare I say @SuperBaconĀ that thereās an element of taboo about it? A bit of a āwe shouldnāt really be doing thisā... which in turn creates a bit of excitement? It was for me an my ex, we split up after 3 years, hooked up 2-3 months later on a night out and things happened every other week for the following 3-4 months. Then it started to become annoying so just made a complete end and havenāt (or wanted to have contact since). For some this can rekindle what was positive about the relationship or like in my case, completely confirms it needs to end for good. I donāt think itās a bad thing (the re-visit), but I think you have to go in to it feeling somewhat confident, following an amicable break. Iāve never ever understood the whole āhave a breakā craic. To me that just means.. āIām not really in to you anymore, but I donāt like the idea of being alone and although I donāt want to see you, I donāt want anyone else to... and I donāt have the balls to end it properly.. in case I decide I want you back... iāll Let you knowā. Ive never been aware of any couples I know, both deciding 100% at the same time that a breaks required, itās always suggested by one party and the other must follow suit and become fragile and vulnerable, or officially end it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members WWFChilli Posted November 9, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted November 9, 2017 8 hours ago, Keith Houchen said: It should, can you give us a few details to get us started? Ā Do you want one liners or a 5 minute piece? Seriously, that's shit, mate. Ā I lived with my first ex wife for about a year after we split, it was hell. Ā She was moving on with her life but I couldn't until she moved out. As people have already asked, yes, spare room. Thank goodness. A decent 10 minutes has been written, and 5 minutes about living with my girlfriend has been hastily rewritten. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Houchen Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 Even if it's the most amicable split in the world, it still takes a toll. Ā Hope you're ok, man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uklaw Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 I thought it was bad enough when things ended with me and my ex. We already had tickets to a show so we decided to honour the arrangement. Went to see the show on a cold February evening. Awkward wasnāt the word that night. The last time I saw her. Itās been nearly 2 years. After reading the last few pages of the thread, I have no more basis for complaint. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Briefcase Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 Credit to everybody who stayed with their exes after a break up. I felt distraught staying for just one night in the same room when I got dumped in my younger years.Ā Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wrasslin Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 On 08/11/2017 at 10:37 AM, Wrasslin said: Thanks very much for the advice guys I really appreciate it. Like you describe Kaz I totally get where he's coming from and I wouldn't say this is my shining hour. But at the same time we can't intentionally make ourselves miserable to protect him. Me and her spoke last night and are serious about giving it a go. I'm going to speak to him about it Saturday. She wanted to do it together but I think that would just feel like an ambush. Right. So the conversation went as well as can be expected. He's kind of said he's OK with it. (Helped by the fact I think he's really into a new girl). So now I just have to try and make this work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Carbomb Posted November 11, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted November 11, 2017 Great stuff. Good to hear that circumstances played in your favour too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uklaw Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 4 minutes ago, Wrasslin said: Right. So the conversation went as well as can be expected. He's kind of said he's OK with it. (Helped by the fact I think he's really into a new girl). So now I just have to try and make this work. All the best man. Hope it works out and hope your mate can grow to accept it, even if things trail off with his new lady. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members SpursRiot2012 Posted November 12, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted November 12, 2017 Quick check on whether or not I was being unreasonable about something.Ā Last night my girlfriend went out with her mate to a club. This was long planned and I couldn't go anyway with my leg. They came back at 5am with two random dudes they met there. My girlfriend said it was because her mate wanted to get with one of the guys.Ā I was not happy about this. I said she should have known I wouldn't be OK with it since I don't even like dudes that she knows from her hometown staying over the night when we go out, let alone two strangers they'd met hours earlier. And when they came back they went into the living room and were being quite loud (the two random dudes) while I'm trying to sleep in the next room.Ā I did a minor kick off about it and she got them to leave. This morning she asked if I thought I'd over reacted. I don't think I did. I can't imagine her being happy if I went out with a mate and brought two random women back that we'd met at aĀ club at 5am while she was asleep in the other room.Ā It's not aĀ huge deal now, I'm just wondering if maybe I did over react.Ā Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MungoChutney Posted November 12, 2017 Share Posted November 12, 2017 I'm with you.Ā I think I could accept my other half bringing back mates she'd bumped in to on aĀ night out, of both genders.Ā It's another thing entirely to rock up with a couple of random guys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Chest Rockwell Posted November 12, 2017 Moderators Share Posted November 12, 2017 Why don't you like her mates from home staying over when you go out? That's weird. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members SpursRiot2012 Posted November 12, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted November 12, 2017 (edited) I don't mind mates I know, male or female. To me, my home is my sanctuary and I just would prefer not to have people I don't know sleeping here. I want to be able, for instance, to wake up in the morning and doss around in my boxers without worrying who's in the house.Ā The way I see it is, if they're planning to go out far away from where they actually live, they surely already have somewhere to stay? So why are we offering our place out? I think partly it also comes from my years spent bumming about from place to place in places where people would come and go and locking your front door didn't mean someone wouldn't come in. Now when I get home and lock my door I feel safe, and having people here I don't know ruins thatĀ Ā Edited November 12, 2017 by SpursRiot2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rule One Posted November 12, 2017 Share Posted November 12, 2017 @SpursRiot2012: In your situation, you're in the right, your partner knowing how injured you are at the moment could have been a little more considerate and understanding. Moving on from the reaction of before and how you handle yourself in the coming days is a different matter. If this issue has never been discussed before between you and your partner then it would be best to discuss it and find a middle ground where you both feel happy. Don't be afraid to resonate like you have in your posts about your past. Letting it linger could possibly bring up thoughts that you don't want or need and could spill over later. Live, learn and love. I hope all goes well for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Kaz Hayashi Posted November 12, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted November 12, 2017 You are wrong and right.Ā If her mates want to stay over, thatās fair game and youāre being unreasonable by having issue with it, (put your balls away). Her bringing random blokes back is bobbins. Not on any level is that standard behaviour and i would also be bothered. Just like Iād expect my wife to be if me and a mate brought two women back weād just met, itās weird. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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