The Relationship Thread

[Chest Rockwell]

So you bumped an old thread but have absolutely nothing to say? Yes. Yes I do mind. You weirdo.

[uklaw]

40 minutes ago, Chest Rockwell said:

So you bumped an old thread but have absolutely nothing to say? Yes. Yes I do mind. You weirdo.

🙈 It is pretty much a wordier version of *bump* so...

...If the shoe fits 😊

 

 

Edited August 6, 2018 by uklaw

[Slapnut]

I got dumped yesterday and I’m absolutely crushed.

I’ve only been seeing her since January, but I got very attached to her and vice versa. The reason she ended things is because she’s a self-confessed commitment phobe and she can’t deal with a relationship at this stage of her life.

I knew it would happen eventually, and yet it hasn’t softened the blow at all. In fact, it’s probably made it worse because I’ve spent ages waiting for it to happen. And the most frustrating part is that she was texting me last night talking about how much this has upset her too.

Don’t really know what to do with myself at the moment. 

[Keith Houchen]

Did she get a birthday thread for her on the UKFF?  I think you're the winner here!  If you were waiting for it to happen then it's better sooner than later.  I know that's no comfort but if you want different things then it'll hurt more in the long run.  Perhaps her feelings will show that she wants a relationship with you though.

[Slapnut]

18 minutes ago, Keith Houchen said:

 

Did she get a birthday thread for her on the UKFF?  I think you're the winner here! 

 

Can’t argue with that one bit!

I know it’s probably for the best in the long run, it’s just difficult to see it that way at the moment.

I evidently don’t cope well with break-ups. That’s two in less than a year. Granted, the first one was a 7 year relationship while this one was only 7 or 8 months, but they’ve both hit me in different ways. This one has just happened at a really shit time in my life so I think it’s hit me harder than it would have done otherwise.

[Keith Houchen]

Without knowing you or all the details, it could be possible that this breakup is dragging up the hurt from your long term relationship that wasn't fully resolved.  Your confidence is bound to be hit hard so just try and do something just for you that usually makes you feel better.

[FLips]

You have to look at it in the long run like you said. She's essentially chickened out of a relationship after less than a year. What would she be like in big decisions like moving in together, marraige, children, etc?
 

[Slapnut]

@Keith Houchen Again, can’t really argue with that at all. Even though I’ve moved on, I don’t think I’ll truly get over that first relationship for a long time and it’s definitely going to affect every relationship I have for the foreseeable.

I’ve already made steps to make some changes in my life though. I joined an MMA gym (just for a hobby, not to compete), I’m getting some new headshots done to get back into acting, and I’m going to start doing stand-up again. Hopefully this’ll distract me enough in the short term.

@FelatioLips I’m not really thinking that far in advance, but you’re right. Even if she changes her mind, I’m not sure I’d go back to her in case it happens again.

Edited August 28, 2018 by Slapnut

[Keith Houchen]

I know this is coming from a manic depressive suicide attempting fence sitting nternet loudmouth, but distracting you in the short term isn't dealing with the issue.  I think what you're doing is great and isn't something short term, it's making plans for the future and you should give yourself a big Barry Horowitz style pat on the back for that and be proud of yourself.

[King Coconut]

I'm not a manic depressive suicide attempting fence sitting internet loudmouth, but he's right. 

[Slapnut]

25 minutes ago, johnnyboy said:

Also, definitely have a chippy tea.

Mate, I’m so annoyed with myself. I was genuinely having a chippy tea while typing out these posts, and not only did I forget to take a photo of the menu, I forgot to take one of the meal itself. Sorry folks!

[Azrall]

Reviving this thread with a bit of a positive note.  As of a couple of weeks ago, I've started dating someone who absolutely blows my mind in every way.  Although it's very early days yet, I'm feeling really good about it all.

Remain positive guys, if it can happen for me, it'll certain happen to all of us. 

[Otto Dem Wanz]

Ignore

Edited December 8, 2018 by Otto Dem Wanz

[W35ty]

End it before you wake up with your dick cut off.

[Glenryck Pilchards]

I am not one to usually post about my woes on here but I need some advice. Here is a bit of background. My wife and I have a son who will be 2 years old in the summer. My wife suffered a traumatic labour which lasted nearly 72 hours and eventually our son was delivered by C-Section. Mrs P took a while to recover from the surgery and was not able to walk unassisted three days later and she was struggling to breastfeed as our son was not latching correctly and was not getting enough milk which led to a hospital stay as he was “failing to thrive”. From then on my wife believes that she has been a failure and I have constantly reassured her she has not as we now have a fit and healthy baby boy.

 

During her maternity leave I could tell she was feeling isolated and I encouraged her to go to a local mother and baby group to build a local network of friends. Instead she decided to go to a mother and baby group 10 miles away so she can attend with her mother, which happened to be round the corner from her house. This defeated the purpose of why I was encouraging her to go to a group I wanted her to establish roots in the local community.

 

Things started to improve when she returned to work last year for a month or so but as soon as her parents go away on holiday or if it's her time of the month her personality completely changes. Her behaviour is erratic and snaps constantly. To give you an idea I kept a timeline of a 24 hour period from about 6 weeks ago. Bare in mind I have just started a new job and this day was during the month end process so I have to work extended hours during this time and the wife was on annual leave at the time and her parents were on holiday.

The baby wakes up at 5.30am and I get him from the cot and take him downstairs. The wife sleeps in until 7.30 meaning I run late for work.

At 10am I am in an important meeting with my manager and she sends me nonsensical messages about the baby having a poo. I sent a message not to contact me unless it is an emergency as I was really busy and had a lot of work to do and I didn't need any unwanted distractions. I finish work at 7.45pm and I attempt to call the wife to sort something for dinner. She answers “I am to busy with baby” slams phone down. I walk in at 8pm (no baby, fast asleep in cot) She is seething and storms out of the house saying “I am not coming back”

30 minutes later she trundles in still in horrendous mood so I went upstairs to keep out of her way. She came upstairs at 10pm I go downstairs leaving my phone on charge in bedroom and make myself something to eat. Around midnight baby cries, I comfort him for 40 minutes and put him back in cot. I go to get my phone and is not on charge. After searching room I found it flung opposite side of bedroom on 13% battery. I go downstairs to sort out alarms and catch up on emails. I go to bed just after 1am. Baby cries at 3.30am, wife does not move and I plead that I need sleep.

She storms out of the room putting all the lights on in the house screaming “You want to be up at this time, fine be up at this time, here you go here is the high chair you sit in there and cry” Baby is crying hysterically at this point. I am appalled and went downstairs to get my son, by this point wife picks up baby from high chair and comforts him on sofa. I go back to bed and can’t sleep due to the disbelief of her actions, 20 mins later she comes back in bed with son. Every time I am on the verge of falling asleep I get a dig in the ribs. At the 5^th time of this happening I went downstairs and went to sleep on sofa. At about 5am Wife comes down with baby and dumps him on me and demands I feed him Weetabix. I said no it is ridiculously early. Me and baby slept on sofa until 6.30 and I gave him some milk. I was waiting until wife came down and at 7.30 she is still fast asleep (I was suppose to be starting work at 8am) I change baby’s nappy and she is still asleep. Eventually she wakes up which allows me to shower I get ready and go to work getting in 30 minutes later than I wanted to and sleep deprived to fuck.

Fast forward to the past week and I have reached my breaking point. During midweek the wife had an over night stay on a residential trip with her work and I had responsibility of my son. I took care of him no problem, the only issue is we both slept-in (unheard of for the son!) so I did not have time to wash the two milk bottles. I dropped him off to my mother's and headed to work. Once I finished my shift I jokingly said to my manager I bet the first thing she says is "I haven't washed the milk bottles" 

Sure enough within 90 seconds of walking through the threshold I was getting it in the neck for not washing the bottles. Ever since she has been making sniping comments against me and tonight I have had enough and I have walked out and headed to my parents. I just cannot stomach being in the same room as her at the moment. In November I lost my job as I was found asleep by a manager in a meeting room due to lack of sleep as I was looking after my son all night. Miraculously I managed to bag a better paid job a month later, and quite frankly the best place I have ever worked. I am currently on probation and I am worried I won't get signed off with all this shit I am having to deal with at home. 

I am really at a loss what to do. I have put up with so much for so long for the sake of my son, who I am absolutely devoted to. But I can't take being an emotional punch-bag from my wife anymore. One moment I am regarded as Dad of the Year the next I am the worst person in the world. We have been together for nearly 14 years but I just can't see how we can go on unless there is drastic changes to the relationship. (Sorry for the wall of text!)