deathrey Posted July 18 Share Posted July 18 3 hours ago, Dr. Alan Grant said: “He is him.” He is I, and I is him Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awards Moderator HarmonicGenerator Posted July 20 Awards Moderator Share Posted July 20 On 7/18/2024 at 10:49 PM, deathrey said: He is I, and I is him And you are me and we are all together? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WyattSheepMask Posted July 20 Share Posted July 20 On 7/18/2024 at 10:49 PM, deathrey said: He is I, and I is him Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slapnut Posted July 21 Share Posted July 21 Seagulls. Less of a minor annoyance and more the bane of my life at the moment. I have a pretty severe bird phobia. Always have and probably always will. I’ve seen about 5 different hypnotists and the like and nothing seems to work. The fuckers are nesting all over my estate at the moment, so not only are they noisy as fuck, but I’ve just been chased home by one and now I presume the same one is dive bombing me in my own garden. It’s a lovely day and I can’t go outside to enjoy it. I’ve even got washing hanging on the line which I guess I now have to leave until September. Absolute bastards the lot of them. Especially the one trying to kill me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Coconut Posted July 21 Share Posted July 21 2 hours ago, Slapnut said: I’ve seen about 5 different hypnotists and the like and nothing seems to work. Have you tried prayer or divination? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SuperBacon Posted July 21 Members Share Posted July 21 Maybe you should bum one of the gulls. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slapnut Posted July 21 Share Posted July 21 36 minutes ago, King Coconut said: Have you tried prayer or divination? Just hypnosis and crystal healing ? Update: I went to Tesco and the fucker was waiting there for me. Didn’t make it inside. Got straight back in the car. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SuperBacon Posted July 21 Members Share Posted July 21 Slapnut vs the gulls > Ralphy vs the cows. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members BomberPat Posted July 22 Paid Members Share Posted July 22 I'm fascinated by "five different hypnotists". Is it around the third or the fourth hypnotist that you start to think that maybe hypnotism just isn't going to work, but you just have to go back for more? Completely agreed on seagulls, though, bane of my life. When I lived in Jersey the fuckers were everywhere; they'd wait outside shops to swoop down and steal your food the moment you walked out the door. I once made the mistake of trying to eat an M&S samosa while walking back to work at the end of my lunch break, I'd got one bite out of it, and one of the fuckers swooped down over my shoulder and just took the whole thing out of my hand. Another time I was eating chips out of a clamshell container, one walked up behind me, grabbed the lid of the container in its mouth, and just flung the lot on the floor. Bastard. During the pandemic they were nesting on the roof of my flat, so all you heard was them squawking, their feet patting around, and them divebombing anyone who came near. If you walked through the town centre at around 2-3am, you'd see swarms of them descending on the taxi rank, fighting over all the chips and kebabs that drunk people dropped on the floor, or going through the bins outside every restaurant. So when the pandemic happened and all these places were closed, they must have a faced a significant food shortage, and just went fucking feral. I saw one kill and eat a pigeon in the town square. I was in Finland a couple of weeks ago, and somehow the gulls there were even worse. Wouldn't even wait for someone to leave their food unattended before just landing on the table and having a go on it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Carbomb Posted July 22 Paid Members Share Posted July 22 After years of never seeing this ever, in the space of the past two weeks I have seen three separate occasions when a seagull attacked, killed, and ate a pigeon. Disturbing shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slapnut Posted July 22 Share Posted July 22 17 minutes ago, BomberPat said: I'm fascinated by "five different hypnotists". Is it around the third or the fourth hypnotist that you start to think that maybe hypnotism just isn't going to work, but you just have to go back for more? Honestly mate, it’s always been pure desperation. It’s difficult to put into words how severe a phobia it is. I can’t sit outside at pubs or anything like that because I’m too stressed there’ll be birds. I was about 13 when I saw the first two and didn’t understand what was supposed to happen, so when they did their “when I count backwards from 10 you will fall into a deep trance” shtick I was thinking to myself “is this it? Should I be unconscious or something?”. The other occasions have been as an adult and I’ve basically gone to people with different methods such as hypnotherapy or NLP in the hope that the next method will be the one that works. I’ve come to the conclusion that my mind just isn’t susceptible to it. They always try and get me to feel the fear during the session, but unless I’m in the presence of a bird I just can’t do that. I’m also a massive skeptic which doesn’t help. Plus, my mind wanders too easily, and I would always have to bring myself back to the topic at hand rather than wondering what I was having for dinner that night. Nonetheless, I’ve gotten some funny stories as a result, like the time one chap started hovering crystals over my head, and the woman I contacted who asked if I’d gained my phobia in this life or a past life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Devon Malcolm Posted July 22 Paid Members Share Posted July 22 I'm just not sure how a person could ever go out anywhere, ever, except when it's dark. Because there are birds everywhere. What an absolutely awful phobia to have and one of those that you probably don't get any sympathy for. Have you tried any sort of aversion therapy, @Slapnut? Like getting a budgie or something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members TheBurningRed Posted July 22 Paid Members Share Posted July 22 I also have a phobia of birds. As you said @Devon Malcolm it’s not one you get sympathy for. I’ve been mocked because of it. My girlfriend used to jokingly take the piss until I had a panic attack in Amsterdam when we got surrounded by pigeons. And like birds or not, Shoebills are terrifying and should be wiped out and all photos and footage of them in the world should be deleted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SuperBacon Posted July 22 Members Share Posted July 22 8 minutes ago, TheBurningRed said: Shoebills are terrifying They are absolute cunts aren't they? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merzbow Posted July 22 Share Posted July 22 The local gulls have started divebombing, especially at dogs being walked in the area. I think one of the buildings in the local little industrial park is dealing in fish or something as there's countless not so little fuckers around, I find it pretty funny myself and can't help but laugh when I accidently aggro one but could see how it'd frighten the shit out of someone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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