King Coconut Posted September 22, 2020 Share Posted September 22, 2020 2 hours ago, Chest Rockwell said: This is one long baby.. He doesn't fit into most of the sleep suits we brought. Aaah, a vest baby. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members wandshogun09 Posted September 22, 2020 Paid Members Share Posted September 22, 2020 Congratulations Chest! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hallicks Posted September 22, 2020 Share Posted September 22, 2020 Congrats, Chest! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members John Matrix Posted September 27, 2020 Paid Members Share Posted September 27, 2020 This is the only place I could share this sort of anecdote, and why I pray no one in my personal life ever discovers this account. A little insight into parenting no one ever wants to give you, cos their kids are fucking perfect.. Friday night, my six year old wakes up in the night from a coughing fit, and despite being, and I swear, three foot from the toilet doors, proceeded to vomit a cocktail of hot chocolate and mince all over the landing floor, destroying skirting boards and doors as it ricochet everywhere upon contact with the laminate. Saturday afternoon, my four year old emerged from the toilet caked in shit up to his forearms after attempting to wipe his own bottom. He’d snuck upstairs and not told anyone he needed a poo. The clean up operation was like nothing ever before it. The fingernails... my lord. Saturday evening, his “just dangle his pish over the rim” technique came back to haunt us, and our bathroom was transformed into one big piss filled shallow end. This morning, my two year old shat. I knew he’d shat, but it was before 7am and so I promised myself that I’d change him when the alarm went off, but alas, he saw to it that I’d never see that lie in, by serving me up two scoops of mother nature’s finest, reaching into his drawers for a right good root around. Honestly, I’m laid in the same room as I type getting him off to sleep and despite a comprehensive search I can’t be sure there’s not a smear somewhere I’ve missed. This afternoon, we get an encore from the four year old and yet another massive piss reserved for the floor tiles and then, to top it all off... I was sat in the chair resting my eyes a couple of hours ago, when my two year old, who’s teething hard right now and has a thing for gnawing on my trackie drawstrings, misjudged things somewhat and took a massive bite of my foreskin. It’s still tender. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Surf Digby Posted September 27, 2020 Paid Members Share Posted September 27, 2020 My lad's now four and we're pretty much at the same stage. We're trying to have conversations about cleaning himself after pooing as he's now at school. The main issue though is him refusing to accept that he needs to go and so he waits until his legs are dancing and there's 10 seconds before disaster. He's still also pooing far more than is physically possible for his body to contain. Where he does excel though is picking up songs. Earlier this year he heard Fire (by Arthur Brown) in the background of a TV show and then sang it 3 days later, completely blowing my mind. Today he started singing Frampton's Show Me The Way and none of can figure out where he might have possibly heard it. We did ask him where he got it from, and he simply answered "from Russia", because he's a nob. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr_Danger Posted September 27, 2020 Share Posted September 27, 2020 I jumped out of the car to pick something up from the house the other week and when I came back my 3 year old lad was dangling his member over the edge of the car window and pissing on to the street whilst his sister was laughing her head off. He’s also fiercely independent and will sneak off to poo and wipe himself with similar results to Matrix’s lad. He’s also taken to stripping off and shouting “It’s widgey time”. He also stated singing “There’s some ho’s in this house” just before he started school the other week but luckily I’ve curbed it to “Lovely ladies in this house”. I’m sick of people saying they know where he gets this shit from and looking at me as they say it. I blame Mr Tumble. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators neil Posted September 28, 2020 Moderators Share Posted September 28, 2020 18 hours ago, John Matrix said: This is the only place I could share this sort of anecdote, and why I pray no one in my personal life ever discovers this account. A little insight into parenting no one ever wants to give you, cos their kids are fucking perfect.. Friday night, my six year old wakes up in the night from a coughing fit, and despite being, and I swear, three foot from the toilet doors, proceeded to vomit a cocktail of hot chocolate and mince all over the landing floor, destroying skirting boards and doors as it ricochet everywhere upon contact with the laminate. Saturday afternoon, my four year old emerged from the toilet caked in shit up to his forearms after attempting to wipe his own bottom. He’d snuck upstairs and not told anyone he needed a poo. The clean up operation was like nothing ever before it. The fingernails... my lord. Saturday evening, his “just dangle his pish over the rim” technique came back to haunt us, and our bathroom was transformed into one big piss filled shallow end. This morning, my two year old shat. I knew he’d shat, but it was before 7am and so I promised myself that I’d change him when the alarm went off, but alas, he saw to it that I’d never see that lie in, by serving me up two scoops of mother nature’s finest, reaching into his drawers for a right good root around. Honestly, I’m laid in the same room as I type getting him off to sleep and despite a comprehensive search I can’t be sure there’s not a smear somewhere I’ve missed. This afternoon, we get an encore from the four year old and yet another massive piss reserved for the floor tiles and then, to top it all off... I was sat in the chair resting my eyes a couple of hours ago, when my two year old, who’s teething hard right now and has a thing for gnawing on my trackie drawstrings, misjudged things somewhat and took a massive bite of my foreskin. It’s still tender. Sorry mate, thats awful, but I'm howling reading this. Especially the punchline. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members John Matrix Posted September 28, 2020 Paid Members Share Posted September 28, 2020 3 hours ago, neil said: Sorry mate, thats awful, but I'm howling reading this. Especially the punchline. Glad to be of service chief. I think the dent in my helmet has just about righted itself now, thank goodness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glenryck Pilchards Posted October 15, 2020 Share Posted October 15, 2020 There will be a fourth addition to the Pilchard family in April. That's lockdown boredom for ya. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deathrey Posted October 16, 2020 Share Posted October 16, 2020 Congratulations @Glenryck Pilchards Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Divorced Dad Posted November 13, 2020 Share Posted November 13, 2020 Any Dads on here who have experience of going through/supporting a partner through a difficult pregnancy? As the weeks have gone on pregnancy has become more difficult for Mrs DD. She has low Pap A, gestational diabetes, pelvic girdle pain and baby has been in the fully breached position for the past few months. We are now thinking an elective caeserian is going to the best option for her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deathrey Posted November 14, 2020 Share Posted November 14, 2020 @Divorced DadNot a dad but currently experiencing some of the same issues as your wife. How far along is she? I've got awful pelvic girdle pain and am really struggle to move around and do much. Sleeping is difficult due to back ache and my baby seems to be playing Twister in there, one minute its engaged and the right way up, then its breech, it spent most of last night transverse which was deeply uncomfortable. I'm 38 weeks and looks like an elective is going to be the route I'm taking too, for various personal reasons along with the ones mentioned here. Has she had chance to speak to a consultant midwife yet? Mine was great and really talked through all the pros and cons with me and my husband, if she hasn't done that yet, I would ask for a referral. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Divorced Dad Posted November 14, 2020 Share Posted November 14, 2020 8 hours ago, deathrey said: @Divorced DadNot a dad but currently experiencing some of the same issues as your wife. How far along is she? I've got awful pelvic girdle pain and am really struggle to move around and do much. Sleeping is difficult due to back ache and my baby seems to be playing Twister in there, one minute its engaged and the right way up, then its breech, it spent most of last night transverse which was deeply uncomfortable. I'm 38 weeks and looks like an elective is going to be the route I'm taking too, for various personal reasons along with the ones mentioned here. Has she had chance to speak to a consultant midwife yet? Mine was great and really talked through all the pros and cons with me and my husband, if she hasn't done that yet, I would ask for a referral. Shes 33 weeks just now so still a while to go. She's been discharged from the community midwife and all her care is now being done through the hospital but we've had no contact from the consultant there yet. She's quite anxious about the birth now and the potential complications so we're thinking of going for an elective section. @johnnyboyno Twix's for Mrs DD unfortunately due to the gestational diabetes. I can pass her an apple instead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deathrey Posted November 14, 2020 Share Posted November 14, 2020 The consultant midwife is usually based at the hospital. I was seen by the Obstetrician at the hospital but they wanted me to see the Consultant Midwife before agreeing to the C-Section and I'm really glad that I did as she was brilliant. I recommend asking for it from your specialist at the hospital. @Divorced Dadshe may already be doing all these things but these helped: If your wife doesnt have one already, my husband bought me a pregnancy support band and it has really helped with the pelvic girdle pain, he got it from Amazon so to take a look. Does she have a gym ball/birthing ball? They are great for getting the baby in the right position and again help with Pelvic Girdle pain. Again, look on Amazon or similar and get a gym anti burst one, they are exactly the same as pregnancy balls but cheaper because they dont use the word 'pregnancy'. Offer lots of back rubs as the later you get on in pregnancy, the worse your back gets in my experience. I now sleep on a pregnancy pillow and have what I can only describe as a pillow for around me to get comfortable, a pillow better the knees really eases pelvic girdle pain and hip pain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deathrey Posted November 17, 2020 Share Posted November 17, 2020 So my planned C-Section won't be happening. I ended up having an emergency one at 5.30 this morning when baby decided to scare the shit out of us with the weirdest start to labour ever! My contractions started at 2.30am and by 5.30 I was in theatre and mum to a beautiful baby boy who arrived 2 weeks early. What an amazing feeling ❤ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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