John Matrix

Was in the children’s ward of a hospital when I spotted my mate Gary Windass looking troubled. His little boy had been admitted with chicken pox, but when I popped in to see the lad he’d clearly been smothered with PVA glue and dipped in Rice Krispies. I pressed Windass on this, who said he was having trouble with Sarah at the mo and hoping to get some money off the hospital for medicine that he could use to pay off his debts. *** i’d been cast in a live stage adaptation of Predator and spent the beginning of the dream hiding out of sight in a big industrial unit watching the other characters being offed in a serious of increasingly violent ways. The director yelled cut, and I found myself mingling with other cast and crew, (at no point have I seen myself at this stage) at which point I was introduced to someone by my co star who said “and Mark is playing the lead role of Roy Cropper, chair of the Predator Historical Society” at which point I turned to see a quantum leap Esque reveal of my reflection in a mirror wearing the exact wardrobe and hairstyle of our Roy.

"Cos your the only one....who really knew me at all"

Someone on here was gonna start a thread recently about some sort of clever type of dreaming i dont understand. Fill your boots like, but this thread is for sharing your recent dreams, be they positive, negative or wet (pissing yourself counts). Largely because i go through phases of having the most ridiculous dreams when i'm not having very realistic nightmares. Last night i dreamt that i was in a room with female MMA phenom Ronda Rousey who was all angry and upset. I slid closed a bolt on the door, lay opposite her and asked her to tell me who the REAL Ronda Rousey was, to which she appeared very flattered that i'd taken the time to want to get to know her (despite inexplicably locking her in the room with me). Just as we were beginning to get closer, the current baddie off Hollyoaks (i dont even know his name, but Mrs Matrix watches it - the one who's boffing Kathy Beale) burst in, tied me to a big leather office chair and started cutting up all of my ties in front of me vowing to get revenge. For what? Enter a pregnant Kylie from Coronation Street, upset to find out that i had previously fathered a child with another woman. The lovely Ronda, nowhere to be found, i decided to snap myself out of it as Hollyoaks man started cutting the tie i was wearing. Now seriously? I know dreams are supposed to mean something...but other than the fact that i wouldnt mind slipping Ronda Rousey one, and that my pulling technique is in need of some work - what the fuck is the rest of it all about?