John Matrix

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About John Matrix

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  1. Apologies for the double post, late finish, early start. The saving grace of Rocky 5
  2. I don't even remember how I stumbled across this, but it's smashing. Sort of like a British 'Rocky' anthem which is pretty fitting given it's accompanied here by a brilliant Ricky Hatton montage. It lacks the big swinging dick of an American number if you listen to it on it's own, but with these visuals alongside it, I defy you not to get pumped.
  3. Someone else dressed as NWO era Savage too. Im sending them a CV.
  4. Just spotted this tweet on my timeline.. Those Mansell Recruitment employees love their wrestling by the looks of it. Is that anyone on here?
  5. That's a handsome clan there pal. Top marks. Although I'm distraught after all these years to learn that you don't in fact, look like Gladstone Small.
  6. ^^^ That, can fuck off. I wasn't even a MASH fan, didn't dislike it, just a little before my time, so watching one of these "Million bestest TV endings" countdown shows on Ch5, even without context this absolutely did me. Spoilers below for context...
  7. Definitely check out the Running Man sharpish mate. My blind Arnie fondness to one side, it really is a cracker.
  8. Jesus. Make that two by the look of it, there's a third in pre-production. Hafthor Bjornssonn is playing the villain in the next one by the looks of things. I mean part of me thinks, lovely stuff. I love these sort of franchises that end up 9 films deep and completely unrelated by the 5th movie, but I wont be going out of my way to keep up with this incarnation of the Sloans, not unless they bring back Sacha Mitchell.
  9. So with a rare free night and the worlds cinematic output available at the tip of my fingers, last night, I decided to give the Kickboxer remake a bash. Bloody awful ennit? I mean don't get me wrong, I didn't have high hopes going in, and if they hadn't cast Van Damme in the Xian role, I'd not have given it a second glance, but crikey... It reminded me of the mid 90's when I'd hit up Blockbuster or Choices on a nightly basis and rent out whatever straight to video Oliver Grunier, Jeff Speakman, Lorenzo Lamas, Jalal Mehri (I could go on) shite was cluttering up the bottom shelves. Sure, the production levels were higher, and it looked pretty, but this was as wooden as it gets - remember a few years ago, there was showing up looking thoroughly un-intimidating despite their legit credentials and whilst the former are kept to generic dialogue free tough guy roles, Georges stumbles through his lines from the opening "I can't let you in eef you 'aff no skeels" which I confess, got a legit LOL out of me for its hammy delivery, showing no acting chops whatsoever. I've no problem with plot development or tweaks in these sort of remakes, but what they went with, with the whole, police corruption, shady promoter thing added nothing other than to remind me how lovely Gina Carano scrubs up. Perhaps the biggest disappointment of all was Big Dave as Tong Po. I gather he's gone on to sterling turns in Guardians, and as a Bond villain, but he shows very little here. It's not enough to be a fucking massive physical presence. Look at the original Tong Po, he's a streak of piss to be frank, but he looks genuinely disturbing, and behaves more so. At no point does Tong Po come off as remotely menacing, instead, mostly standing there with a blank expression, whispering into someone's ear who then carries the talky stuff. Alain Moussi as Kurt Sloane is about as generic as it gets although if his haircut was a tribute to the 90's then it did an excellent job. The directors made the mistake of confusing 'this guy can do some cool kicks' with 'actual fight choregraphy' and in terms of personality, utterly ordinary is as generous as I could be. That said, in fairness to him, that's probably because he shares so much screen time with Van Damme, (finally, a positive) who frankly pisses charisma after all these years. I mean honestly, Van Damme was rarely/barely an A Lister, but his turn in this is like someone cast Al Pacino in Police Academy or something, he's light years ahead of anyone else and looks to be having the time of his life - seems to have lats on par with Bruce Lee these days too, I haven't see much of his recent straight to DVD fare, but there's no mistaking he got himself in amazing shape for this. In summary, I'm just not sure they knew what they were going for. It lacks the darkness of the original, the warmth and humour, although it tries, the soundtrack, although i'll let that one slide. I had a flicker of hope this'd be alright, but it's a bloated mess and a bit of a let down. Was it appalling and offensive? Absolutely not, but for the reboot of a great little franchise, it missed more than it hit. There's a tidy little montage somewhere in the middle which got my hopes up that things were going to pick up a gear. They never did. Apart from that and Jean Claude, highlights were limited to GSP's "I am not impressed with your performance" line, and Michel Qissi's "Don't you remember me?" line to JC during the prison escape, although he's utterly unrecognisable these days, looks a lot like Alex Shane actually, so how many people pick that up I don't know.
  10. Just seen the most depressing thing ever, it's actually made me sad. People who use pictures of their kids as their profile pictures - annoying. People who exclusively post screen grabs of FaceTime sessions with their kids - downright bloody heartbreaking.
  11. Now bear in mind I was about 13 at the time, I can't even claim the naivety of childhood, but after coming in far too late from a kickabout after school, my mum, rightly, refused to make dinner for me, having already done so, washed up and indeed, thrown it away. "I'll show you" I thought and in full on strop, proceeded to tell her "Fine. Do it myself". Now at the time, I LOVED those little tinned potatoes you get, the little spherical bollock shaped ones. I'd seen them on the hob before, how hard could that be? Only we didn't have any of those, just a bag of actual potatoes in the corner. I peeled three. I mean I say peeled, was left with pretty much just the core by the time I'd finished, and proceeded to pop them in a saucepan with some cold water out the tap. I fired up the hob, and a minute or so later, the water was bubbling, just like I'd seen it do when my mum did me some tinned pots. "Done!" I thought. I proceeded out of principle to eat one and a half stone cold, raw potatoes rather than save face. "They alright?" she asked. "Perfect. Just how I like em" I uttered like a complete fucking tit, convincing absolutely no-one. *** In a similar vain to the misheard stuff, I was staying at a mates once, must have been around the same time - I woke up before him and whacked Gary Imlach on for the Sunday morning NFL highlights. He must have been awak and watching for a bit, cos he sleepily asked "How come every time they throw the ball, the commentators say 'Catch the birdie'?. "No mate, that's Vinny Testaverde...." *** I've also just remembered, and I was at least young enough not to know better at this stage, asking Nan if I could go with Grandad when we left to "go and spend a penny". Thought he was off up the shops dinn'i? *** This can also be used in a positive way though come to think of it. Similarly young and round my Nan's god rest her soul, I'd be scared, as are most kids, of house spiders. Not even big ones, just spiders generally. So she convinced me that her and Granded kept "Harry" as a pet and from then on, any time I saw a spider at their house, I didn't bat an eyelid. It was "Harry the spider" just like any dog or cat.
  12. Breathing a huge sigh of relief guys. Thank you.
  13. For those times when you appal even yourself. Consider this a safe space... unless of course you're a proper wrong un like dog gobber or sex offender. I don't even know how to begin explaining this. It happens to me all the time, where I think a particular thing, then hate myself for thinking that particular thing. For example, I just saw a tweet which read: Now don't mistake this as an attempt to be funny, or as some sort of thinly veiled gag, it's neither, but I promise you, the first thing that popped into my head was "Crikey, talk about bitter. I'm not well, so you can't be either". So essentially, what I've taken from that information is "A paralysed man invented AIDS for disabled people". I honestly question what's wrong with me at times, so I'm hoping my fellow F'ers will reassure me that mine isn't the only brain capable of being a dick. I don't want that thought process attributed to me, but it happened, so I can't deny it, but I don't want to feel responsible for it either. HELP.
  14. I'd love to see that if anyone could recommend anywhere it's available online?
  15. Don't these guys hold the tag belts in NGW at the minute? If indeed a shoot, will clearly have a wider impact outside ICW