What's your family been up to now?

[Carbomb]

That's good work from Mama Loiyon, I think. The piss-take was well deserved.

[SuperBacon]

11 minutes ago, Lion_of_the_Midlands said:

Perhaps that bat now thinks King Charles is a Muslim"

Might be the funniest thing that's ever been posted on here, I'm crying.

[deathrey]

Excellent comic timing from your mother there @Lion_of_the_Midlands

I think this is my favourite thread on the forum.

[Lion_of_the_Midlands]

1 hour ago, deathrey said:

Excellent comic timing from your mother there

Honestly not what she is known for so I'm guessing it was a fluke. Normally she'd get it wrong, for example she once referred to someone as "Billy Two Mates" 

[BomberPat]

Billy Two Mates is fucking great, though. Reminds me of a friend of mine, when we were out after a show, getting annoyed by a fairly well built bodybuilder type acting like a prick on the beach, and blurting out, "fucking Johnny Two Arms over there".

[lars85]

Bumped into my cousin earlier and she informed me that our 90 year old Grandad has recently taken a shine to Lily Allen. So naturally, he's started sending her handwritten letters to a PO box address that he's certain is hers.

I have so many questions.

Edited June 1, 2025 by lars85
.

[Chris B]

I'm sure it's a coincidence that this is shortly after she opened her feet-based OnlyFans.

[lars85]

TIL, Grandad's got a foot fetish. How very modern.

[Thunderplex]

Mother:  Sylvester Stallones dead.

Me:  Really?  That’s a shocker.

Mother:  Not really with all the steroids like those stupid wrestlers you like.

20 minutes later…

Me:  It’s not Sylvester Stallone, it’s Sly Stone who’s dead.

 Mother:  Same bloke.  Going to bed now.  

Slams phone down.

[SuperBacon]

I've often wondered if my Dad used to go to a cafe in Greenford where Joe Bugner was the spitting image of the cook.

Now I can rest.

[Lorne Malvo]

My Dad was looking at one of those scam videos on Facebook earlier where a clearly digitally-altered Martin Lewis is telling you to invest £200 in some bullshit scheme. I told him to steer well clear of it and he's done so.

Anyway, he's now got the hump with me because he can't find the video again and 'nobody ever wants to take a chance in this family' (??)

Barmy bastard.

[waters44]

A while back I was in the local hospital getting a blood test. All good and I was walking back to the car through this massive room. It has four or five waiting areas for various tests, departments etc, so there was at least 50 people sat around. Probably more

Anyway as I’m walking past all these people someone bellows out “YOU’VE PUT ON WEIGHT!”

I look up and see that it was my Grandad and thanks to him there’s 50 people looking at me knowing I’ve hit the garibaldi’s a bit too hard recently. 

[Bruce85]

1 hour ago, Lorne Malvo said:

My Dad was looking at one of those scam videos on Facebook earlier where a clearly digitally-altered Martin Lewis is telling you to invest £200 in some bullshit scheme. I told him to steer well clear of it and he's done so.

Anyway, he's now got the hump with me because he can't find the video again and 'nobody ever wants to take a chance in this family' (??)

Barmy bastard.

Last year my dad got a call from “the met police” telling him they suspect someone in his local bank has been swapping real money with counterfeit notes and they need him to go in and withdraw £6k so they can check. He withdrew the money and read out ALL £6k of serial numbers which were all conveniently “fake” notes. The “met” arranged for a special courier to come and collect the money and they would refund his account once the money had been collected. The idiot handed over the cash…..

 

Thankfuly he managed to get the money back through the bank but my sister now has power of attorney and oversees his accounts. 

[Carbomb]

Bloody hell. 

[Mr_Danger]

Not quite Uncle Cheese On is it.