What's your family been up to now?

[Devon Malcolm]

My dad is taking to semi-retirement well.

[SuperBacon]

My Dad finally, FINALLY retired about 6 months ago at the age of 66 and has just bought his fourth vespa/lambretta of the last half year.

All incomplete of course.

[Frankie Crisp]

Very much my father’s son.

[gmoney]

This isn't new behaviour in the slightest, but here are two clocks displaying the exact same time (GMT) that my dad has felt the need to put up in the spare room. 

[Supremo]

Emergency text message from my cousin. She ordered a PC for her son and needed technical support, if I didn’t mind rushing round.

Thought I’d be installing software or plugging in printers. 

No. She was trying to set up an Epic Store Online ID and kept failing the CAPTCHA. She couldn’t prove she was human.

[SuperBacon]

1 hour ago, gmoney said:

exact same time

[waters44]

Those two clocks have absolutely killed me ??

My Uncle had to stop my Grandad from driving a few years back. He caught him driving using the dashcam camera that was attached to the ceiling in the car, rather than, y’know, looking out the windscreen. I can’t imagine how unsettling that must have been for other drivers, seeing my Grandad cruising along whilst looking upwards

[Wretch]

My Ma’s up in court next week due to the fact she stopped paying her TV license, because in her own words, “I’m not giving them cunts (RTE) another penny”.  This is the conclusion of a cat and mouse game she’s been playing with the inspectors, or whatever you want to call them, for about six months or so. It came to light last year that our national broadcaster spent €5000 of TV licence payer money on flip-flops for their summer party and this was the old girl’s tipping point. 

Edited January 20, 2024 by Wretch

[DavidB6937]

Let my mum have a go on my VR headset for the first time today. I've never seen someone so mesmerised and confused in my life. Worth the money just for that alone.

[LaGoosh]

My Dad retired a few years ago and became an unhealthy couch potato for a bit. He then decided he needed to exercise so we were all relieved when he told us he had started walking 3 miles every day.

Well it actually turns out it isn't 3 miles a day, it's about 1 and a half miles. To the nearest Wetherspoons. Where he necks 4 pints then gets the bus home. Great.

[Sergio Mendacious]

Can confirm that Frankie’s dad is an absolute diamond.

my parents moved into an old folks development recently, it’s made their old personitude intensify. My dad keeps getting banned off Facebook for racism, and my mum is positively gleeful about it.

[Devon Malcolm]

On 1/20/2024 at 10:58 PM, Sergio Mendacious said:

my parents moved into an old folks development recently, it’s made their old personitude intensify. My dad keeps getting banned off Facebook for racism, and my mum is positively gleeful about it.

I just assume these places are exactly like Del Boca Vista, please confirm.

[BomberPat]

my Dad was absolutely adamant that he was going to get into model trains in his retirement. There's an old box room in their place that my Mum used to keep her knitting and crafts stuff, and she had a load of cleared out, put a big table in there, and bought him a load of train stuff for Christmas a year or two ago. He has since barely touched the thing, and is now adamant that he was never that bothered about trains, but that he enjoys making the model buildings and trees and things. After declaring this, my tiny 5' nothing 70 year old Mum snapped, "just make a sodding model village, then!". 

That, and an argument over whether one of the artificial plants in the new fish tank has been directly responsible for multiple guppy deaths now, has been the height of drama in the Bomber household this weekend.

[Devon Malcolm]

My dad's semi retirement has seemingly ended - he just bought a new van.

My mum informed me this morning.

"He's supposed to be bloody retired. But since he got this Tim Healy work he's never out of the house. Now he's gonna spend months arseing about with its MOT and putting shelves up in it."

[SuperBacon]

I do love that our generation of Dads just refuse to stop working, mad bastards.

My Dad, who I'll be honest could have afforded to retire years ago, up until he did retire was doing 3 days a week for about a year. But that 3 days a week was mental.

In his earlier life he was a long distance lorry driver all over Europe and for the last 20 odd years a surveyor for a specialist haulage company. So his job is go and do the survey to make sure the lorries can get in and the equipment out etc. All over the gaff. 

I'd ask him where he was going that week. A typical answer would be he'd have to be in Grimsby for 9. So he'd set off at 4am or whatever from near Reading. Staying over? No. He'd do the survey and then head back. And repeat this all the time, maybe the next day he would be in Cornwall for 9.

Never complained, whereas I've just thrown a shitfit as my Outlook comes through on my phone quicker than my laptop and it annoys me.

I don't think he ever took a day off sick either, which is absolutely mental. We had to almost beg him to retire, whereas I'd retire today if I could.

Crafty sod though, as he somehow convinced them to let him keep his company car!