Simple stuff you can't do

[King Mal the Glorious]

23 hours ago, BomberPat said:

A ton of things. I can't really swim or ride a bike - like, if you put me in calm water I could probably just about doggy paddle back to shore, but anything more than that I can't do and have no interest in doing, I never enjoyed learning to swim, and don't like the sensation of being in or under water. Bike-riding I just never properly learned; my Dad did some pretty perfunctory "put the kid on a bike and give him a push" lessons, but when everyone else carried on riding I just wasn't interested. Again, I could probably do it now, but I'm hardly going to start trying on London roads. 

This is basically exactly what I was going to post. I'm sure I could do these things now, but I've no desire to embarrass myself trying in my mid 30s.

[Carbomb]

Can't jump rope, have never been able to - and, because the rope hits my legs on the second go-around, I can never get enough momentum to practise. I'd be a rubbish boxer. Went on Youtube to try to find out what it was I was doing wrong, and nearly every channel on there assumes you can do the basic mechanism of just jumping over the rope rhythmically, so I'm DOA.

[WyattSheepMask]

Change a tyre.

Not that I’ve ever had to do regularly I’ll admit, but I had a flat the tyre the other day after finishing work, and I didn’t have a clue on what I’d need to do so had to call the RAC out to change it to my spare tyre and now I’m off to get a proper new one 

[gmoney]

Is changing a car tyre that simple? You have to fuck with wheel nuts and stuff don't you? Fuck that. I can change a bike tyre, piece of piss. That's my level. 

[SuperBacon]

First thing I see as I click away from here.

I take it all back about not caring about the deep state etc, they ARE listening!

All hail Putin, the NWO (for life brother!!!) and the others.

[Bus Surfer]

Drive confidently in unknown/busy areas. 

Approaching 20 years since I passed my test but I still put off or just completely avoid driving unknown places if I can help it. Sat Nav has made things easier but I still absolutely hate it. 

 

[Chest Rockwell]

It is really easy. I get not knowing how to do it, but if you know how to do it you definitely would be able to do it. It's not a technically difficult thing to do that requires any particular level of co-ordination. 

Edit: per what Johnny said below - that's to put the spare wheel on. Actually changing the tyre is impossible to do yourself at home. 

Edited September 26, 2023 by Chest Rockwell

[johnnyboy]

15 minutes ago, gmoney said:

Is changing a car tyre that simple? You have to fuck with wheel nuts and stuff don't you?

As a regular person you wouldn't even change the tyre, you'd change the wheel which already has the spare tyre on and then take the wheel with the duffer on to Kwik Fit or the tyre fitter of your choice.  Changing the wheel for a spare is relatively straightforward, but still requires wheel nuts and jacking the car up etc.

[MungoChutney]

20 minutes ago, gmoney said:

Is changing a car tyre that simple? You have to fuck with wheel nuts and stuff don't you? Fuck that. I can change a bike tyre, piece of piss. That's my level. 

The mechanics of it are very simple. You're usually dealing with four bolts. The challenge is having the confidence to jack the car up and that you'll do it correctly, which is what I struggle with. 

[simonworden]

I did it 9nce years ago in a rush to get to London at fleet services and vowed never again. I kept a can of that foam spray in every car I had since.

These days I always make sure my motorbikes/scooters have ride flats so I can at least go slow until I find a place or random man on the roadside to do it for me. 

[SuperBacon]

31 minutes ago, Silky Kisser said:

Drive confidently in unknown/busy areas. 

Approaching 20 years since I passed my test but I still put off or just completely avoid driving unknown places if I can help it. Sat Nav has made things easier but I still absolutely hate it. 

 

Yep. I have driven very occasionally in the last 5 years or so, and now being in a new place that I still don't know, the prospect of driving places terrifies me, especially the very small tiny country roads round here.

I need a car as I live in a fairly rural area, but I'm a bit scared. I was even thinking of having a couple of lessons when I buy a car quite shortly.

When I have to get the bus into town, the fact the drivers get the double deckers round these roads is quite frankly astonishing. Pay them all 100k a year I say.

[The Gaffer]

17 hours ago, Keith Houchen said:

Said Jazzy as he wiped his swollen member with his hi viz before plunging it into Tommys eager mouth. 

This is like the 60s sexual revolution version of out of context UKFF finally getting binned. 

[Loki]

Changing a tyre is hard depending on how stiff those wheel nuts are, and whether your car has a locking wheel nut that needs a specific key. In the pissing rain, this can be a massive ball ache, I'd far rather call the AA.

Cars used to be a piece of piss though - oil, water, filters, spark plugs, batteries, bulbs, belts, all easily done yourself. Car stereos, a 10 minute job.   It's way harder now - cars don't even have dipsticks or easily accessible bulbs, everything is computer controlled requiring a trip to a registered mechanic.  Even finding the fuse box is a job now.

[organizedkaos]

6 hours ago, Tommy! said:

I can hear the Breakfast thread groaning from here.

Because of the heart disease?

[Tommy!]

4 hours ago, Chest Rockwell said:

Actually changing the tyre is impossible to do yourself at home. 

My dad used to do it for his old land rover when I was young and from watching I knew it wasn't anything I'd ever want to try. Mind he'd do everything on that himself, it was like a big mechano set.

It was his job at one time, so I'm assuming that's how he knew what he was doing and had leaver's and kit and the like.

1 hour ago, Loki said:

Cars used to be a piece of piss though - oil, water, filters, spark plugs, batteries, bulbs, belts, all easily done yourself. Car stereos, a 10 minute job.   It's way harder now - cars don't even have dipsticks or easily accessible bulbs, everything is computer controlled requiring a trip to a registered mechanic.  Even finding the fuse box is a job now.

Definitely second this. I'll happily tackle jobs on my 40 year old van because even if I'm not sure what I'm doing I know how it works in theory, my 10 year old fiesta I'm not going near because it's all electronically regulated.