Paid Members gmoney Posted September 25, 2023 Paid Members Share Posted September 25, 2023 (edited) 35 minutes ago, Lorne Malvo said: I've got a mate who isn't a div by any stretch of the imagination, but he can't tell the time from an analogue clock. There was a kid in my maths class in about year 8 who got called out for not knowing how to read a clock by the teacher. I can't remember how it came about, but it was dealt with in such a horrendous way by the teacher (Mr. Cornish, A* cunt) and he drew so much attention on the poor bastard, including taking the clock off the wall and bringing it to his desk, that the whole class was laughing at him, including me. I sometimes think back to that with chills. That must have been unbearable for him, and I feel ashamed at myself. Edited September 25, 2023 by gmoney Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Houchen Posted September 25, 2023 Share Posted September 25, 2023 11 minutes ago, lanky316 said: This is something that appears to be becoming more and more common. On Puzzling, there would be questions that popped up like "what is the time in the mirror?" or the numbers being replaced by a couple of letters with the question like "who is the author at 3:35" and it was surprising how often people got them wrong on a surprisingly high brow quiz. As it's becoming less likely that people come across analogue clocks it'll become more common people struggle with telling the time that way. To be fair, that’s in a round where they’re, ahem, against the clock. So couple that with the pressure of a TV quiz and it’s understandable the odd wrong answer will slip through. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members BomberPat Posted September 25, 2023 Paid Members Share Posted September 25, 2023 A ton of things. I can't really swim or ride a bike - like, if you put me in calm water I could probably just about doggy paddle back to shore, but anything more than that I can't do and have no interest in doing, I never enjoyed learning to swim, and don't like the sensation of being in or under water. Bike-riding I just never properly learned; my Dad did some pretty perfunctory "put the kid on a bike and give him a push" lessons, but when everyone else carried on riding I just wasn't interested. Again, I could probably do it now, but I'm hardly going to start trying on London roads. Probably loads more. I've never fried an egg. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Jazzy G Posted September 25, 2023 Paid Members Share Posted September 25, 2023 I can't make a cheese sauce. I also can't swim very well. I remember when I was in a church lads and girls brigade back in my teens, and had to enter a swimming race at a competition we were in. The other kids in the "freestyle" race all dived in and were pretty much finished by the time I'd composed myself after jumping in. I then proceeded to splash my way to the opposite end of the pool (probably the second time I'd ever swum a full length of a swimming pool) in what felt like half an hour. Remember Eric The Eel at those Olympics? I wish I could swim as well as he does. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deathrey Posted September 25, 2023 Share Posted September 25, 2023 (edited) I also can't fry an egg @BomberPatI can make lots of other egg-focused recipes but can't fry an egg Edited September 25, 2023 by deathrey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loki Posted September 25, 2023 Share Posted September 25, 2023 7 hours ago, BomberPat said: I've never fried an egg. Never successfully fried one, or never tried?   Have you made a fried breakfast but not included eggs?  Have you ever boiled an egg?  Scrambled?  Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Coconut Posted September 25, 2023 Share Posted September 25, 2023 4 minutes ago, Loki said: Never successfully fried one, or never tried? Â Â Have you made a fried breakfast but not included eggs? Â Have you ever boiled an egg? Â Scrambled? Â Dude, this is the ukff and this is a thread about stuff you can't do properly. You should consider us all lucky that frying eggs and swimming are the peak so far. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Dead Mike Posted September 25, 2023 Paid Members Share Posted September 25, 2023 16 minutes ago, Loki said: Never successfully fried one, or never tried?  Exactly what I was gonna ask. It can't be the latter. Basic human curiosity would've led you try by this point. Then again, I worked with a 36yr old woman who'd never tried melon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Tommy! Posted September 25, 2023 Paid Members Share Posted September 25, 2023 7 hours ago, jazzygeofferz said: I can't make a cheese sauce Nothing wrong with keeping your nob clean mate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperBacon Posted September 25, 2023 Share Posted September 25, 2023 Fucking hell, its dinner time Tommy!!! Â Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Houchen Posted September 25, 2023 Share Posted September 25, 2023 16 minutes ago, SuperBacon said: Fucking hell, its dinner time Tommy!!!  Said Jazzy as he wiped his swollen member with his hi viz before plunging it into Tommys eager mouth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TobyK Posted September 25, 2023 Share Posted September 25, 2023 11 hours ago, deathrey said: however I can t fo anything with a car other than put windscreen wiper fluid in and I desperately wish I knew more but I can't even change a tyre Add this to the list too. I quite enjoy driving, but completely useless and uninterested by how they work or to fix simple issues. My mechanic (who, like most, I’m sure rips me off) gives me looks sometimes when I ask him questions. I should know more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
westlondonmist Posted September 25, 2023 Share Posted September 25, 2023 My mother in law can't work her TV remote control. Hasn't got a clue. It's a fucking TV remote!  Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members BomberPat Posted September 26, 2023 Paid Members Share Posted September 26, 2023 15 hours ago, Loki said: Never successfully fried one, or never tried?   Have you made a fried breakfast but not included eggs?  Have you ever boiled an egg?  Scrambled?  I must have tried at some point, but possibly not since Home Ec at school or something. Until I got with my current partner, I never used to cook breakfast at home, if I were to have a fried breakfast it was because I was hungover and dragging myself to a cafe for it. Now that I cook one every couple of weeks, it's generally with scrambled tofu rather than egg. I have boiled an egg, can confirm. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Tommy! Posted September 26, 2023 Paid Members Share Posted September 26, 2023 29 minutes ago, BomberPat said: scrambled tofu I can hear the Breakfast thread groaning from here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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