Simple stuff you can't do

[CleetusVanDamme]

I can't do screen protectors. Once again I've tried putting one on a new device, once again I've followed all advice down to a tee, and once again I've ended up with something looking like Aero have got in the technology game or it's a limited edition Leprosy model. I've gave up and the screen will have to brave the elements rawdog. Never again.

Your turn!

[The Gaffer]

I can't get as far as the waiting room of a dentist, doctors or hospital without my body having an anxiety response. No matter how rational my mind processes it, it's just never comfortable for me.  

The fucking opticians is about my limit. I had to get a fresh eye test two weeks ago and I almost had to stop reading the letters halfway through because I felt like I was going to pass out. 

[Chest Rockwell]

47 minutes ago, CleetusVanDamme said:

I can't do screen protectors. Once again I've tried putting one on a new device, once again I've followed all advice down to a tee, and once again I've ended up with something looking like Aero have got in the technology game or it's a limited edition Leprosy model. I've gave up and the screen will have to brave the elements rawdog. Never again.

Your turn!

I got one that you apply on wet and it's been a game changer for me. The only screen protector I've ever succeeded in putting on my phone. 

[RedRooster]

Say the word ‘secretary’ out loud. It’s an indecipherable sound about 50% of the time it comes out of my mouth.

[WeeAl]

Can't whistle. Can't for the life of me figure out how it works. Just a disaster from start to finish when I attempt. 

For the longest time, I couldn't blow up a balloon. I'd say I was in my early to mid twenties before that light bulb went off. 

 

[SuperBacon]

9 minutes ago, WeeAl said:

For the longest time, I couldn't blow up a balloon

Yep, I can't do any of this.

Swim for me. I reckon I could bobble and survive but certainly couldn't "swim" anywhere.

Also DIY. I hate it and I'm shit.

[The Gaffer]

Oh I can't blow a balloon or swim.

This thread's going to be depressing for me. 

Look, I can tell you with a decent degree of accuracy what gear is being used on old rave tracks. 

[Just Some Guy]

Get a log burner to burn logs.

[Wretch]

Clingfilm, the little fucker.
 

Buying a house five years ago made me realise how awful I am at anything DIY related. I was just so used to asking landlords to fix whatever went wrong, it’s something I never really thought about, daft as that sounds. Still feel a twinge of embarrassment when I have to ask my father in law to pop round and help with whatever’s happened (or something I’ve fucked up). 

[Dr. Alan Grant]

I can blow up a balloon, but I can’t tie them at the end.

Can’t ride a bike. 

Can’t cut through sellotape with my teeth. I just get in a mess.

[FLips]

DIY here as well. My Mum did everything like that when I was growing up but never bothered to actually teach us any of it. Now she has COPD and has my Dad do everything and I'm 33 year old, can't be asking my Dad to teach me how to drill a curtain pole in or paint a wall properly.

I'm good with computers, though.

[Thunderplex]

Leave a woman unsatisfied.

[MungoChutney]

DIY for me too, can't do anything beyond very basic painting a wall. 

I don't know if this is necessarily a simple thing but wrapping Christmas or birthday presents is like complex theoretical physics to me. 

I think a severe lack of patience combined with poor hand-eye coordination is to blame for both of these issues tbh.

[Tommy!]

Work a tin opener. Everyone I've tried chews the tin up, misses bits or rides up the tin as it turns.

I just use an old pen knife style one most of the time.

[Keith Houchen]

Your mum.