Dr. Alan Grant

Having just seen him pop up in the Matrix sequels, I present Anthony Zerbe. The eyebrows!

Our first Raw after Mania in the new Paul Levesque (seems weird typing that) era. Who’s getting the main roster debut? Any returns? Debuts? Bron would have been an obvious choice a few months ago, but they already brought him up. In my deepest fantasies, Big E makes his triumphant return to save the New Day from an Imperium beat down. A man can dream. I honestly don’t know if MJF is still with AEW. Him showing up here is a damn sight more interesting than a 6 month Undisputed Kingdom program.

For those disappointed that Austin didn’t show up, fear not. As the last man to hold the winged eagle belt, he had to nip home to Texas to pick it up to present to Cody tonight. Bit of Brasso on it, job done.

Poor Punk only got a pre-show entrance. Rollins coming out dressed as Mardi Gras Gandalf was certainly a choice. Opening match was a lot of fun, but the post match angle with Punk and then the cash in was better. I had completely forgotten about Priest, so that was a nice surprise. It furthers the Hunk/Punk feud on one hand, on the other it’s Damien Priest as the new champ. Give it to Dom instead. Snoop on commentary was a great idea. I’m up for him coming in full time and ditching Graves. The accidental table break was probably Karrion Kross’s fault. Useless fecking lump. I didn’t pay much attention to Knight and Styles. The distracting Slim Jim ads made me yearn for the halcyon days of LA Knight and Bray Wyatt when only one match on the card had an overbearing sponsor. Now it’s nearly every one and I hate it. Triple threat was fun. Logan Paul is annoyingly great. I had no idea who the guy in the Prime bottle was. Maybe I’m old as fuck, but the only celebrities I knew were Snoop and Vanessa Hudgens. All the others at ringside are a complete mystery to me. I know even less about streamers than I do NFL players. I wish WWE would consult with me first about who I’m aware of and plan accordingly. The Peacock ad for some gladiator show briefly made me incredibly excited that they somehow managed to cajole Anthony Hopkins into doing a promo for an upcoming PPV. I didn’t have a clue what the Egyptian theme for Bayley’s entrance was about. Evidently I missed the reference on commentary. The build up to this was pretty poor, so I was on my phone for most of it. When the crowd went berserk in the closing stretches, I went back to the beginning and watched it properly. I’m glad I did as it was a really solid match. Aside from Bayley’s finish looking a bit naff, I enjoyed this a lot. Nice to see the Bucks and Kenny in Cody’s video package. The Skeletor mask wasn’t quite as bad as HHH’s Terminator getup from a few years ago, but definitely a close runner. I loved the pop for Brandi. Get her wrestling again, immediately. The main event was spectacular. I sat up when Cena’s music hit, shouted when The Shield’s music hit (even if was the worst member) and I totally lost my shit when the gong went off. A wonderful clusterfuck of an ending. I punched the air with both hands when Cody won. And when he handed the belt to Mama Rhodes, I started to tear up. But then the hug for Michael Cole truly set me off for some reason. Bastards. The happiest of happy endings. Overall, I preferred night 1. But if they edited them together and gave us Rhea Vs Becky, Sami Vs Gunther, Rock & Roman Vs Cody & Seth from night 1, Drew Vs Seth, Bayley Vs Iyo, the triple threat and Cody Vs Roman from night 2, that’s all all-timer Mania right there. Long as fuck mind. Stick me in the fan club for Samantha Irvin. Was that Negative 1 in the ring at the end? Looked like him.

Jason Jordan apparently. Can’t fire him though, his dad is a Hall Of Famer.

The pedigree on Rock reminded me of a video I saw a few years ago of a bodybuilder struggling to remove a sticker someone has put on his back. Arms are too big for any kind of flexibility to move his arms that way.

As if I haven’t watched enough wrestling this week, I’m now checking out the Slammys. It’s an absolute car crash of technical problems, awkward pauses and Big E drowning in sweat. There is copious amounts of Cathy Kelley however, for certain individuals on here.

I hope it’s just footage of the Bucks dressed up as everyone involved. Terrible wigs, fake moustaches, a fat suit for Samoa Joe. I want poor editing, bad acting and Brandon Cutler fearing for his life in full Tony Khan cosplay.

The production on the show was fantastic. From the stage, to the entrances to the video packages, it all looked big time. Rhea and Becky was a great opener, I do like a match in natural light. I noticed that they both had what I assume was an 8K introduction in the ring, but nobody else did for the rest of the night. The dreaded Prime logo, after initially bristling over how shit it is, was quickly forgotten about. I barely noticed it for the whole show. The ladder match to determine which team has the shittest name (it’s New Catch Republic obviously) did nothing for me. I’ve absolutely had a titful of multi man ladder matches. Within the first minute, people were lying down on the outside. The ladder that Grayson Waller went through snapped and had pink insides. What are these things even made of? A-Town Down Under (fuck sake) won one set of belts and then completed disappeared for the rest of the match. Nice to see Truth get a win, even if it is with The Miz. The intro video with Pretty Deadly proved that they should have been in there instead of some of the other useless goons. The Lucha match was fine. Completely forgettable. Joaquin Wilde saying “this is my WrestleMania moment” before his dive though. Berk. Don’t tell us that, just do it. I was quite excited at first when those two big lads in masks showed up, thinking it could be some new debuts or a return. Nope, some random football players who anyone outside of America won’t know. Lil Wayne was laughably bad. Followed by the worst match on the show. Poor Usos. Should have sent Rikishi out to put a stop to it. I’m convinced this was deliberately bad to drive up sales of whatever those cock and ball wipes that they were advertising on the ring apron. Only the third brother vs brother match? Damn you Michael Cole, you’ll make the Brothers Of Destruction sad with remarks like that. 6 woman tag was also just okay. Kairi Sane is rubbish, but Jade looked the business. Sami and Gunther was incredible. I loved Sami’s entrance, even if I did want Chad at ringside quoting Mickey. Sad that they didn’t have Ludwig Kaiser announcing Gunther. I wanted to hear him shout “deeeeerrrrr”. A nice happy ending. Surely they wouldn’t give us two happy endings in one weekend? If Cody wins tomorrow (he is), Gunther would be a decent feud for SummerSlam. With an hour and 20 left on the show, it’s main event time. I loved it. It was everything I want from wrestling. Rock looked great and him threatening to have the ref fired was brilliant. Cole’s line when Rock got the pin, “Cody is screwed” was marvellous. They need all the bells and whistles tomorrow. Everyone needs to be involved. Rock, Jimmy, Jey, Heyman, Solo, Punk, Seth, Drew, Randy, Owens and Sami. Fuck it, get Cena, Daniel Bryan, Edge, anyone with any link to the Bloodline story for the past 3 years. A rock bottom to Mama Rhodes is a must too. 3 great matches, 4 not so much. Can’t wait for tonight. Cody is winning. He is winning, right? Right?

It’s streaming on the Watch Now tab if anyone wants to watch it from the beginning. I saw 3 matches last night, so I’ll just have to linger until it catches up to where I was. Edit: never mind, it’s working properly now. @Thunderplex @Vamp @Harry Wiseau

Same here. Tried it on my PS5 and iPad, the sound is about 15 minutes out of sync with the picture. I don’t want to look online for a solution in case I get the whole show ruined for me.

I watched Stand & Deliver. It’s the first NXT I’ve watched for a few years, so there were a lot of faces new to me. But also some people I had forgotten existed. Noam Dar! Jesus, haven’t seen him since 205 Live. I was never a fan of Tye Dillinger, and even with his AEW presentation he’s still rubbish. But now he wears a mask to the ring. Joe Gacy also wears a Poundland Halloween mask to the ring. I don’t know why. Poor Bron Breakker, paired up with shitarse Baron Corbin. Hopefully he’ll be done with NXT soon and can spear Corbin into a future endeavour. Dijak Vs Josh Briggs Vs Oba Femi seemingly for the Knuckles Championship was a decent-ish meaty men slapping meat match. Briggs is pretty bland despite his Test cosplay trousers. Oba Femi though is awesome. Love him. How long has he been in NXT? Call that guy up immediately. Seeing Knuckles in the crowd makes me want a fully dressed mascot gimmick wrestler. It’s been a few years since the Adam Rose bunny. It’s time for a new one. Jacy Jayne, Kiana James, Minky Deloit & Izzy James Vs Thea Hail, Fallon Henley, Kelani Jordan & Bremlon Chazz was a bunch of nothing. Some of those names might not be real. Who even knows. However, Thea Hail was great. Wonderful facial expressions, and nailed an unhinged character in a way that Nikki Cross and Alexa Bliss never did. I’d already watched a fair amount of wrestling in the day before this, so by the time the women’s championship match came around, I was nearly in a coma. The crowd seemed pretty dead for most of it. I liked seeing the Pip Boy on the floor until I remembered that we’ll be getting the Prime logo in the ring at Mania, and then I felt sad. Gary Windass Vs Tony D’Angelo was fine. The mob boss gimmick is very mid card, but I did like his Sopranos entrance. Carmelo Hayes Vs Trick Williams was the best match on the card. I’m sure I would have enjoyed it a lot more if I was a regular viewer and knew their backstory, but the video package beforehand did a great job of keeping me in the loop. I’ve heard a lot about Hayes and how charismatic and main roster ready he is. But holy shit, Trick is far beyond him in my opinion. That guy is a star. Great look, good in the ring. Hell of a future ahead of him. It probably wasn’t enough to make me want to watch NXT on a regular basis, but I definitely want to see more of Trick, Oba & Thea. And more of Megan Morant, the pre-show host. Oh my. Lastly, Booker T is terrible on commentary.

You young whippersnappers and your short attention spans.

I can’t remember who it was on here who said they wanted Cody/Reigns to have the Avengers Endgame portals ending. Well…somebody’s made it. The Maui army is my personal highlight.

Cheers all. Now I have to decide on whether to watch the potentially terrible, but wonderfully named Disco Godfather or supporting war in Ukraine. Sure, war is bad…but I do like logging films on Letterboxd. Choices choices.

His name didn’t ring a bell, but I do remember him from Happy Gilmore. He’s also the Western Union fella who delivers a letter to Marty at the end of Back To The Future Part II.

I really like the sound of this, but I’m not familiar with ok.ru. A Google search turned up some dodgy looking Russian social media sites.

I looked at the Wikipedia roster page to see who isn’t on the main card or in the Battle Royal. Assuming we’re getting Karrion Kross and AOP Vs Lashley & The Street Profits, the only biggish names left out are Bron Breakker, Imperium and Solo Sikoa. They should still turn the Rey tag match into a faction clusterfuck and get Jaoquin Wilde doing something similar to that huge dive from NXT a few months ago. It would have been nice to have Imperium & the Creed Brothers in the ladder match instead of Waller/Theory and Pete Dunne and his mustard booties friend. Solo I’m sure will be making an appearance as a mystery hooded assailant at some point, but an actual match wouldn’t have gone amiss. Bron could be an unannounced Battle Royal participant, spearing Omos into oblivion to win the thing. There’s a lot of the women with nothing to do, unless they have a Mae Young Battle Royal. I can’t remember if that was just a one off or a recurring match. They could cobble together some sort of get everyone on the card mess with Liv Morgan, Nia Jax, Shayna Baszler, Tiffany Stratton, Chelsea Green and perpetually employed Tamina. All in all, it’s a great card on paper. I personally want the WrestleMania X ending, with new champ Cody being hoisted in the air by new IC champ Sami, Jey, LA Knight, KO, Randy, Pharaoh and anyone else who was fucked over by the Bloodline. Seth Rollins fills the Owen Hart role and stands in the aisle on his own because nobody likes him, white spittle in the corner of his mouth.

Asuka isn’t a bad shout. Build off from Damage Control vs Jade, Bianca and Naomi to a singles feud. She’s a former champ, could definitely get a good match out of Jade and she isn’t currently in the main event scene so wouldn’t be damaged by the loss. They could also use Asuka’s history with a winning streak to launch Jade’s. Who am I kidding, it’ll be Natalya.

Miss Congeniality - Sandy B deserves better than Benjamin Bratt. Up there with Dominic Cooper (more on him in a bit) as actors who inexplicably annoy me with their presence. 3/5 Jaws - 5/5, it’s Jaws innit. The Golden Voyage Of Sinbad (first watch) - not as entertaining as the other Sinbad films or Jason & The Argonauts. The stop motion creatures are great as always though. 2/5 Asteroid City (first watch) - congratulations to The French Dispatch, you are no longer my least favourite Wes Anderson film. So disappointed in this. 2/5 Don’t Worry Darling (first watch) - I seem to recall this getting panned when it came out, so I was pleasantly surprised with it. Florence Pugh was great, Harry Styles was…there. Not the film I was expecting at all. 3/5 Mamma Mia! (first watch) - right, so first off I like musicals. And yes, Pierce Brosnan probably shouldn’t sing again. There are times when the film seems quite amateurish and that goddamn Dominic Cooper stinks up the place…but…but but but…I really liked this. Not just for the lovely Christine Baranski either. 4/5. Yep. 4/5. No further comments. The Fugitive - Cracking film. 5/5 Scream (first watch) - the 2022 stupidly titled one. It’s better than 4 at least. Deputy Doofy gets stabbed again. 2/5 Honey I Shrunk The Kids/Honey I Blew Up The Kid - both films I watched a lot as a non-shrunken/non-blown up kid. Still enjoyable, makes me miss Rick Moranis on screen. Though I did find out afterwards that he’s making a sequel, Shrunk, with…urgh, Josh Gad. Swings and roundabouts. 3/5 The Lego Movie - I am insanely jealous of the Dad’s Lego basement. It’s all I want from life. 4/5 Final Destination - still holds up 24 years later (fuck me, I’m old). The deaths aren’t as batshit as they become in later instalments and I hope Tony Todd is the mortuary assistant when I die. 4/5

I watch WWE and AEW. For WWE, I watch the PPVs in full on the Network, for Raw and Smackdown, I Watch the Wrestling somewhere else. I’ll be thankful when they’re on Netflix so I can stop using my iPad and having to deal with constant pop up ads. I use the Network for older PPVs, and I’m currently working my way through all the Mania’s as there’s a handful I’ve never seen (22 to 28 I think). I’ve watched AEW since it began, so all the Dynamite’s and PPVs. I fast forward through the bulk of Collision and Rampage unless there’s a particular match I want to see. I used to watch NXT, but gave up on it during the Adam Cole/Kyle O’Reilly feud. I checked out the first few episodes of 2.0 when it started, but nothing since.

Hell of a cast there*. Christian Slater, Peter Dinklage and Hugh Grant united at last. *Plus Amy Schumer.

Yes I did. I am an idiot.

I wanted to change my character class to try something different, so I went to the main menu to start a new game. Nope, can’t do that. Can’t delete your save file and start over. I had to access the system settings of my PS5 and delete the save file from there. With this and other issues that I didn’t see raised in the reviews I watched, it does make me question the legitimacy of those reviews. I’m close to tapping out on this game, it’s so frustrating.

Hmm. I’m still very very early into this, but I may end up eating these words. This game needs a lot of polish. Whenever I move the camera, the edges of my character become blurry. Lip syncing during dialogue is some of the worst I’ve ever seen. There’s no lock-on for enemies during combat, which should surely be a standard feature. I should have probably gone back to Elden Ring and spent another 100 hours there instead.