Paid Members Thunderplex Posted November 17, 2022 Paid Members Share Posted November 17, 2022 Putting kids in shopping trolleys. Ā I really want my loaf putting where some 5 year olds dog shit encrusted shoes have been. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wordsfromlee Posted November 17, 2022 Share Posted November 17, 2022 22 minutes ago, Thunderplex said: Putting kids in shopping trolleys. Ā I really want my loaf putting where some 5 year olds dog shit encrusted shoes have been. As someone who spent may years working in a supermarket, your food has been in contact with a lot worse in the warehouse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperBacon Posted November 17, 2022 Share Posted November 17, 2022 33 minutes ago, Keith Houchen said: I suspect he may have been using the rhetoric of the original post surrounding golf being for rich people and applying it to a different sport for comedic effect.Ā Ooops. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Devon Malcolm Posted November 17, 2022 Paid Members Share Posted November 17, 2022 As long as outlawing golf doesn't extend to the Mario Golf games, I'm awesome with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AshC Posted November 17, 2022 Share Posted November 17, 2022 Ban shirtless blokes on the streets/in the shops. Haaaate it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vamp Posted November 17, 2022 Share Posted November 17, 2022 Sitting on stairs in public places that have seats is punishable by trampling. This is mainly from having worked as an usher in a theatre and having to deal with parents who think it's a grand idea to have their kids sit on stairs in a dark theatre.Ā Busses on school routes have to have bus conductors. I'm fed up with queuing at the front of the bus only for loads of school kids to force their way in on the back. Obviously the conductors are given tasers. There will be no repercussions for anyone who punches someone who steps off a bus or train and then immediately stops in the way of everyone else.Ā Elderly people or those less able to stand can ask people if they can take their seat, and people who are more able to stand should offer, however any elderly person who aggressively demands the seat, or complains that people aren't standing up for them without asking first is never allowed to sit down again. I once had an anxiety attack on a train, hunkered down, closed my eyes and tried to shut out the world only for someone to have a go at me for not offering them a seat. I should have noticed and offered but equally they should have asked politely.Ā Outlaw additional booking charges for buying tickets online. Get to fuck.Ā Theatres areno longer able to insist that you cant leave a single seat space. Yes, I'm single. No, my friends don't have the same tastes as me. Don't see why I should have to miss shows or sit in shit seats as a result.Ā Anybody who genuinely thinks things were better in their days has to live like those days. Shit black and white telly, no world cuisine, the lot.Ā Anyone who complains that this country is shit at snow, despite snowfall being a fairly rare occurrence, will be fined 50% of their total income. The money raised will be spent on preparing for the next time it snows. MPs are paid the average wage. There's this argument that if that's the case then the best and brightest will go do other jobs instead. Well, if we've had the best and brightest for the last couple of decades than let's have the worst and the dimmest.Ā Total reform of the Houses of Parliament. Politicians are allowed to swear. Politicians are allowed to call each other liars. Politicians aren't allowed to stand up every 5 seconds like they need the toilet (unless they do need the toilet) or yay and nay. Politicians aren't allowed to accept any gifts. No political parties are allowed to take donations. Any politician or dignitaries planning to fly overseas to meet anybody in an official capacity must explain why they can't talk to them over Zoom. You have to apply in advance to do DIY. You have to state the days, hours and how long the job is going to take. Anyone seen taking the piss (my neighbours) will have their fingers smashed with a hammer. Anyone who has an "outdoor swing" inside their home and swings on it constantly day and night and haven't set it up right so that their neighbours can hear the swing, will have to swing outdoors, naked, for the rest of their lives. They are not allowed to stop.Ā Anybody who says "cheer up, it can't be that bad" has to watch Eastenders 24/7 for an entire year.Ā Anybody who says "you can't say that anymore" about anything that you can say is no longer allowed to speak under the punishment of having their tongue ripped out and fed to them.Ā Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Chest Rockwell Posted November 18, 2022 Moderators Share Posted November 18, 2022 I'll take the hit for everyone and use my freebie to just go ahead and ban Vamp from making any rules. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members PunkStep Posted November 18, 2022 Paid Members Share Posted November 18, 2022 (edited) If you exit a shop, or escalators, you must vacate the exit area immediately and not suddenly stand there and begin faffing about, thus blocking the very exit you've just used.Ā Punishment for doing this is to read that post above by Vamp. Edited November 18, 2022 by PunkStep Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members CleetusVanDamme Posted November 18, 2022 Paid Members Share Posted November 18, 2022 57 minutes ago, Vamp said: Anyone who has an "outdoor swing" inside their home and swings on it constantly day and night and haven't set it up right so that their neighbours can hear the swing, will have to swing outdoors, naked, for the rest of their lives. They are not allowed to stop. Ā 33 minutes ago, Chest Rockwell said: I'll take the hit for everyone and use my freebie to just go ahead and ban Vamp from making any rules. Chest is the neighbour with the creaky sex swing confirmed! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Fatty Facesitter Posted November 18, 2022 Paid Members Share Posted November 18, 2022 28 minutes ago, PunkStep said: If you exit a shop, or escalators, you must vacate the exit area immediately and not suddenly stand there and begin faffing about, thus blocking the very exit you've just used.Ā Punishment for doing this is to read that post above by Vamp. Your honour, what if you're in a smaller building/facility of a particular chain of supermarkets that may or may not be called Aldi (other supermarkets are available, although their own-brand crisps don't always measure up), where the droids working on the tills scan and chuck the items back at you with lightning speed before you've had a chance to pick your nose and pay them, followed by a hastily arranged scramble across to the 'packing' area, which is next to the exitĀ and you've got hordes of people all still trying to complete their packing at the same time.Ā You haven't thought this through. Or thought of REAL shoppers like me. I'll faff as much as I like while I recover from the shock of the till pleasantries. Also, don't go to the Aldi in Charlton - it's too small.Ā Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Surf Digby Posted November 18, 2022 Paid Members Share Posted November 18, 2022 12 hours ago, Merzbow said: Nostalgia. All of it and the people making the bait. Well, it was nice knowing you all. Although.... 1 hour ago, Vamp said: Anybody who genuinely thinks things were better in their days has to live like those days. Shit black and white telly, no world cuisine, the lot.Ā In my day we had colour telly, Commodore Amigas with two joysticks, a wide range of takeaways in the area, and lots of great music. You could still get Birds Hot Crunch Puddings back then too. I'm sold. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Nick James Posted November 18, 2022 Paid Members Share Posted November 18, 2022 Tying a dog up outside of a shop and going inside for a considerable amount of time, leaving the dog to stand barking the whole time should resulted in said person being tied up outside and made to bark for the same amount of time.Ā Mind you, some kinky fuckers would probably get a kick out of that.Ā Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members PunkStep Posted November 18, 2022 Paid Members Share Posted November 18, 2022 7 hours ago, Fatty Facesitter said: scan and chuck the items back at you with lightning speed before you've had a chance to pick your nose and pay them Ah, yes. I used to treat this like a sport. If it was an experienced checkout staff (an old girl that has been working the tills for years), I would almost certainly lose. But if it was somebody younger, lacking experience, I knew I'd stand a chance to pack everything on time.Ā Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max Power Posted November 18, 2022 Share Posted November 18, 2022 14 hours ago, Joe Blog said: Fuck off, do you have any idea how long it takes a four year old to walk 0.8 miles. I do, fucking ages is the answer.Ā Sorry. I thought this was a thread asking what laws I would create, not what laws I would run past you before creating. I'd also kneecap people who don't pick up their dog shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Blog Posted November 18, 2022 Share Posted November 18, 2022 Internet bans for people who get pissy about a jovial comment made in a hypothetical thread on a forum.Ā Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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