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Christmas Tubs Tussle - Seasonal Sweets RANKED!


FelatioLips
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I've painstakingly sifted through all the seasonal tubs of sweets and given them rankings. These rankings include worst to best of each tub, worst to best whole tub, and then a head to head tournament to decide the best sweet overall in a completely balanced and randomised bracket. The tubs in contention are the Big Four - Quality Street, Roses, Heroes and Celebrations.
I will add comments where necessary.

Worst to Best - Celebrations

8. Milky Way - No bite, no oomph, just crap. 
7. Mars
6. Snickers
5. Bounty
4. Galaxy - Not a fan of plain blocks of chocolate in these tubs, but the competition is so poor in Celebrations that the Galaxy block ranks high.
3. Galaxy Caramel
2. Maltesers - Over-rated. This is the one people say is the best to try and show off to their mates.
1. Twix - The only sweet in this tub with any crunch. Nearly every other sweet in the tub is soft mush. Crunchy, biscuity, wonderful.

Worst to Best - Heroes

9. Creme Egg - Sickly and the fun of creme eggs (licking it out) is gone. 
8. Dairy Milk
7. Eclair
6. Caramel
5. Crunchie - Would have ranked higher but has solid competition
4. Wispa
3. Twirl
2. Double Decker
1. Fudge - Not only the best fudge sweet in any tub, but the best sweet in this tub.

Worst to Best - Quality Street

12, Milk Choc Block - Arguably the worst individual sweet of any tub. A solid block of choc that doesn't get the benefit of being Galaxy or Dairy Milk. May as well open a day on the advent calendar.
11. Toffee Penny - May rank higher on some lists, but there's another toffee sweet in the same tub that's better
10. Orange Chocolate Crunch
9. Green Triangle
8. Coconut Eclair - Better than Bounties. More chew to them.
7. Toffee Finger
6. Chocolate Caramel Brownie - A newcomer ranking fairly high. What happened to the brown toffee one that was in these?
5. Purple One - It's just a caramel swirl with a nut in it. Lazy.
4. Orange Creme
3. Fudge
2. Caramel Swirl
1. Strawberry Delight - Maybe it's because it was my favourite growing up, or maybe it's because Quality Street chocolate tastes garbage and this masks the taste, but Strawberry Creme is top dog.

Worst to Best - Roses

9. Dairy Milk Chunk - It's already in Heroes, it doesn't need to be here.
8. Signature Truffle
7. Tangy Orange Creme
6. Country Fudge
5. Hazel Whirl
4. Golden Barrel
3. Caramel
2. Hazel in Caramel
1. Strawberry Dream - Nicer than the Quality Street one.

So there you have it, each individual sweet ranked in their tubs. Shout out to some missing legends including the Roses Brazilian Darkness, the Brown one from Quality Street, Bourneville from Heroes and the Truffle from Celebrations. All gone before their time.

Worst to Best - Whole Tub

4. Quality Street

Low quality chocolate and some real nothing sweets in here. A block of crap choc, a penny of crap toffee, other sweets dragged down by the quality of chocolate. Only positive is you can shit in the tin if you're stuck in a pickle.

3. Celebrations

A good idea on paper because you have some big names in there. It's usually not until you eat the top 4 that you realise you're stuck with a tub full of Bounties, Mars and Milky Ways you don't really fancy. It's the New Japan of sweet tubs. 5* Main Event with a forgettable and poor undercard.

2. Roses

Not really a bad sweet in the lot but no big standouts either. Consistent and carried by the quality of the chocolate. Again, a top tier main event but with a more memorable undercard. 

1. Heroes

The cream of the crop. 9 sweets and maybe only the Creme Egg is a dud. You'll be left with a tub of Dairy Milks and Eclairs but won't be sad about it because they're decent. 

 

ULTIMATE SWEETIE SHOWDOWN

I had to remove some names to fit a 32 sweet bracket, so took the shite plain chocolate ones out for the most part. Also I think the Toffee Penny. Please send your complaints to my P.O Box.

Bracket1.thumb.JPG.af667e567616d96a5fbe95a5d323c796.JPG

 

And there we have it, I'm sure you'll all agree this was fair and the correct order and there won't be any disagreements at all. Thanks for reading.

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4 minutes ago, FelatioLips said:

Or maybe it's because Quality Street chocolate tastes garbage and this masks the taste, 

What is up with this? I haven't eaten anything like this for ages cos all my old relatives are dead but someone bought me a box of Quality Street last week to say thanks for something, it was a lovely gesture that i appreciated but I thought he bought a dodgy bag that had been in the sun or something cos they tasted like shit.

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10 minutes ago, Bellenda Carlisle said:

What is up with this? I haven't eaten anything like this for ages cos all my old relatives are dead but someone bought me a box of Quality Street last week to say thanks for something, it was a lovely gesture that i appreciated but I thought he bought a dodgy bag that had been in the sun or something cos they tasted like shit.

I think it’s Nestle Chocolate which isn’t great.

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Remember the year when Heroes had Toblerone in? Crazy days.

I disagree (and it appears I'm not alone) in the strawberry front, the roses one is too sickly because the chocolate is actually nice but too thick, the Quality Street one benefits from the fact the chocolate is both thin and dark. The orange ones are vile in both though.

 

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I do wonder if chocolate preferences are the key to the longevity of my marriage.  Mrs JB would eat orange and strawberry cremes until she vomits, whereas I would rather lick the pavement.  Conversely, I'm delighted when I get to pack the fudge away and she'll leave those in the tin.  Everyone's a winner.

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14 minutes ago, johnnyboy said:

I do wonder if chocolate preferences are the key to the longevity of my marriage.  Mrs JB would eat orange and strawberry cremes until she vomits, whereas I would rather lick the pavement.  Conversely, I'm delighted when I get to pack the fudge away and she'll leave those in the tin.  Everyone's a winner.

My wife likes the Dairy Milk and Eclairs, and isn’t keen on Roses. Winner.

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