Awards Moderator HarmonicGenerator Posted December 2, 2016 Awards Moderator Share Posted December 2, 2016 I must applaud this reference from the Torvill and Dean thread    I'm only 5,6 and have 'gay hips'  Ah, the lesser known Big Bank Hank verse from Rapper's Delight   Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Chest Rockwell Posted December 2, 2016 Moderators Share Posted December 2, 2016 Yep! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Arn Anderson's Darb Posted December 14, 2016 Members Share Posted December 14, 2016 I've got an uncle I secretly name 'CHEESE ON' to myself whenever I happen to either mention him to think about him owing to his years old habit, one he doesn't do at all any more, of referring to Cheese On Toast as 'CHEESE ON'. Not unusual because i've heard people refer to beans on toast as 'beans on' but the name stuck because whenever he either asked for 'CHEESE ON' or heard somebody was having 'CHEESE ON' he'd stand up and do this bizarre ritualistic dance where he'd wave his arms about like he was cupping two sets of imaginary bollocks and a running on the spot type of thing and shout out load a variation of -  "WHOOOOHOOHOHOAAA FUCKIN' BIT OF CHEESE ON HEY LIKE A BIT OF FUCKIN' CHEESE ON DO YOU LAD"  Which obviously always seemed completely mental to me, but it goes back to that entire side of the family doing the exact same thing every time you expressed any sort of interest in something. Years before it all one uncle went to see the Robin Hood film with his school and when he got back instead of asking him how it was or if he enjoyed the day out his other two brothers gathered round him with my mum and grandad and all made some sarcastic mass groan that sounded like  "WHEEEEY THE ROBIN HOOD KID HEY WHEEY BEEN TO SEE ROBIN HOOD HAVE YOU GOOD WAS IT LIKED ROBIN HOOD DID YOU"  Until he had to leg it out of the room without saying anything. Yet similarly despite the experience, that uncle once saw me eating quiche at his dining room table and grabbed the back of my head and yelled to me  "BOT OF KWESH IS IT HEY LAD BIT OF FUCKING KWESH?!"  pronouncing it as 'Kwesh' the entire time and picking up handfuls of it and rubbing it into my face. That one had a particular habit of whenever he was asked to give something back once he'd nicked it and arsed about with it he#d shove it down the front of his trousers and shout that 'NOBODY CAN FUCKING HAVE IT NOW CAN THEY'. The one specific example I remember is when he had a coca cola lolly ice that I wanted a go of and instead of just saying now or some variant he did the aforementioned act and then lashed it into a football playing field we were walking past and stormed off home. He isn't my favourite uncle but he did once shag a wall during a game of charades and before giving us a clue to what it was or how many words he started shagging the wall in the room and going WHOS THIS WHOS THIS HEY and was spectacularly had off by my cousin who responded  "well it's you shagging a wall isn't it"  Back to 'CHEESE ON' in closing though, he was always my favourite because despite being a lunatic who couldn't be trusted, as evidenced by the updates I get every few years saying he's been fired from the buses again for stealing fares, he was always given the responsibility of letting the fireworks off every year which always either resulted in the shed going on fire because he'd nailed the catherine wheel to it as if he was putting a shelf up or the time when he specifically aimed a load of rockets at Ken's greenhouse next door.  Hysterical. It's like living in the Royle Family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators PowerButchi Posted December 14, 2016 Moderators Share Posted December 14, 2016 100000000x seconded. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Devon Malcolm Posted December 14, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted December 14, 2016 Absolutely delighted to see that Cannibal Man is still knocking around. Utterly seconded. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members IANdrewDiceClay Posted December 14, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted December 14, 2016 That's the funniest post on here in some while. The funniest bit was "fired from the buses again." Fucking "again!" That creased me. Â "NOBODY CAN FUCKING HAVE IT NOW CAN THEY" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Polish Dad Posted December 14, 2016 Share Posted December 14, 2016 Laughed so hard I've pissed off my housemates & their cats. 10/10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daaaaaad! Posted December 14, 2016 Share Posted December 14, 2016 I was reading this during Match of the Day and my wife came back downstairs to ask what was so funny about the football. +1million Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members CleetusVanDamme Posted December 14, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted December 14, 2016 +1. "Kwesh" caused me to stop breathing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members PunkStep Posted December 15, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted December 15, 2016 +1, last minute winner here surely Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Sergio Mendacious Posted December 15, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted December 15, 2016 Jesus, that post is a Christmas miracle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Gus Mears Posted December 15, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted December 15, 2016 Post of the year for me (Scott's granny porn review a close second). 'Kwesh'. Fucking hell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Kaz Hayashi Posted December 15, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted December 15, 2016 Completely agree, fuck the thread, that post needs stickying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Houchen Posted December 15, 2016 Share Posted December 15, 2016 Yeah, totally killed me that did. Like Ian, after the brilliant stories the stealing fares again line sealed the deal. Utterly wonderful post, a joy to read and re read. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Devon Malcolm Posted December 15, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted December 15, 2016 Stood there doing the kids' packed lunches this morning, giggling away because of "CHEESE ON" with my eldest daughter thinking I'm a mental. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.