Paid Members Carbomb Posted July 22 Paid Members Posted July 22 Yep, same here. Don't hold out on us, Plexy. Quote
Paid Members Thunderplex Posted July 22 Paid Members Posted July 22 Early 90’s. Whenever there was a family birthday, mother did a birthday the on the Saturday afternoon. All the usual stuff including sausage rolls, pork pies and chunks of cheddar cheese and pineapple on cocktail sticks. We all grabbed some and mum and dad were sat near the living room door with a plate full each. Dad decided he needed a piss, so handed his plate to my mum and trotted off. Was gone a while, so mum put his plate on the dining chair where he was sat. Eventually he came bumbling back in, sat down and let out a chilling scream. He stood up and half a dozen pineapple and cheese sticks were embedded in his arse cheeks!. He’s screaming ant trying to pull them out, but as he was a bigger chap at the time, couldn’t get his hands far round enough, so he’s spinning round the room, screeching and looking like a massive pineapple hedgehog. Eventually he stops and we set on removing them. Needed pliers they were in that deep and he screamed again for each one that we exhumed. Didn’t need a trip to the hospital with him but nearly did with my auntie who couldn’t stand him and had laughed that hard she had turned a purple colour and was having problems breathing. Ahh, family fun. Quote
westlondonmist Posted July 22 Posted July 22 Didn't need a trip or too embarrassed to make one? If my arse looked like Doug Bradley I'm not sure I'd go in. Quote
Paid Members Carbomb Posted July 22 Paid Members Posted July 22 A Thunderplex story never disappoints. Superb. Quote
davertfnewman Posted July 23 Posted July 23 Sounds like my grandad, who was no good at DIY but tried to fix a chair and ended up sitting on a nail that was exposed. My gran couldn't help him out of it for laughing. There was also the occasion of my mom going to school and my gran and grandad having a row and coming home to one of the rooms redecorated with fleur-de-lis wallpaper pointing DOWN. When my mom asked my gran why it was the wrong way round my gran said they'd had a row and he'd started putting it on the wrong way and because they weren't talking she wouldn't tell him. Quote
Paid Members JNLister Posted July 24 Paid Members Posted July 24 My 12-year-old nephew, who is obsessed with dinosaurs, has just had his parents called in after he triggered the school computer safety filters: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fukuisaurus Quote
Paid Members Gus Mears Posted July 31 Paid Members Posted July 31 This happened to me in 2002 when I repeatedly Google searched for our American exchange teacher, Mrs Dykehouse. Quote
Paid Members Chris B Posted August 12 Paid Members Posted August 12 (edited) Made the mistake of asking about eclipse plans in the family group chat. My sister shared a BBC article about how to watch it with a pinhole camera or a colander. My mum jumps in with 'I'm not going out with a colander over my face!'. Then my sister said someone had suggested brown beer bottles were good for it. At that point, I was just crying laughing in the co-working space, at the idea of my sister walking around in the dark with two beer bottles against her eyes, while my mum holds a colander against her face and looks directly at the sun. In my head, my family is a weird mixture of Keeping Up Appearances and Young Sheldon. They both have degrees, btw. Edited August 12 by Chris B Quote
King Coconut Posted August 12 Posted August 12 Back in 1999 you could look at it with your bare eyes. Bloody wokes. Quote
Members SuperBacon Posted August 12 Members Posted August 12 1 hour ago, Chris B said: while my mum holds a colander against her face and looks directly at the sun. Needs to be careful she doesn't strain her eyes. SuperCarbomb Quote
Paid Members Chris B Posted August 12 Paid Members Posted August 12 6 minutes ago, SuperBacon said: Needs to be careful she doesn't strain her eyes. SuperCarbomb That was irritatingly good. Quote
Paid Members Carbomb Posted August 12 Paid Members Posted August 12 2 hours ago, Chris B said: That was irritatingly good. Not authentic me, then. Mine are irritatingly bad. Quote
Paid Members Supremo Posted August 12 Paid Members Posted August 12 Picking my cousin up to go for a meal just now, she ran from the house to the car with her hand shielding her eyes from the eclipse. She somehow took the guidance, “don’t stare straight into the sun,” to mean, “during the eclipse any exposure to direct sunlight will burn your retinas clean off.” Quote
Paid Members Gus Mears Posted August 12 Paid Members Posted August 12 What a pile of bollocks that was. People clapping as it went slightly dark, half of them brandishing colanders. A new low for this country. Quote
Paid Members BigJag Posted August 13 Paid Members Posted August 13 We have family visiting the UK. I've made various attempts to arrange a meet up. The dunderheads are useless at answering questions or arranging a suitable time. It shouldn't bother me this much. However its incredibly annoying. Never has it been this difficult to do something cool for someone. Quote
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