Browser Brady Posted June 26 Posted June 26 2 minutes ago, DavidB6937 said: @Browser Brady firstly, sorry for your loss - incredibly difficult I know. And then to have all the family drama on top of that must be really challenging as you need your own time and space to grieve. It's far too early to even be having proper conversations about stuff like that. I know you've made a comment to your brother but it wasn't like you've gone into full blown discussions or anything. I know it won't be easy but try and give yourself some space away from the drama and allow yourself to process what you need to process before even starting to consider anything else. Thank you. Quote
westlondonmist Posted June 27 Posted June 27 I must have the most boring family, nobody does anything interesting, except for my kid who is absolutely bat shit. We're walking along with my partners friend and he says at football his friend Ryan gave him the horn so he fisted him. Yeah, sounds bad right? The horn is when you put your hands on your head upwards like a rhino horn and ram them. Fisting is just punching. Quote
Paid Members Lion_of_the_Midlands Posted June 27 Paid Members Posted June 27 9 hours ago, westlondonmist said: I must have the most boring family, nobody does anything interesting, except for my kid who is absolutely bat shit. We're walking along with my partners friend and he says at football his friend Ryan gave him the horn so he fisted him. Yeah, sounds bad right? The horn is when you put your hands on your head upwards like a rhino horn and ram them. Fisting is just punching. I sometimes wish I had a boring family. I haven't even scratched the surface of the stuff that my family has done. Most of it sounds made up so I keep it to myself. As an example of something that is 100% true but sounds made up. There was the time my mum went to a stone circle one summer solstice, got really drunk and wrestled a sausage from a dogs mouth and ate it because she thought it was a marshmallow. I would like to add that the sausage was not cooked. Quote
westlondonmist Posted June 27 Posted June 27 6 minutes ago, Lion_of_the_Midlands said: I sometimes wish I had a boring family. I haven't even scratched the surface of the stuff that my family has done. Most of it sounds made up so I keep it to myself. As an example of something that is 100% true but sounds made up. There was the time my mum went to a stone circle one summer solstice, got really drunk and wrestled a sausage from a dogs mouth and ate it because she thought it was a marshmallow. I would like to add that the sausage was not cooked. That had me in stitches. My family aren't really boring, they (we) 'd be a psychologists wet dream, they're just not very nice to anybody. I couldn't tell you a story that would make you laugh. Quote
Paid Members I Bent My Wookie Posted June 27 Paid Members Posted June 27 30 minutes ago, westlondonmist said: That had me in stitches. My family aren't really boring, they (we) 'd be a psychologists wet dream, they're just not very nice to anybody. I couldn't tell you a story that would make you laugh. I sometimes think that having a bit of a weird/rougher family helps me appreciate the smaller things more. My lot aren't particularly bad, anger issues for a few and the one side seem to have a bit of love/hate/don't communicate with one another but every time something happens that makes me think "how am I related here?" it makes me happier I have the circle of friends I do. And then I come here and find humour in everyone's bat crap crazy stories. Quote
Paid Members ReturnOfTheMack Posted July 6 Paid Members Posted July 6 My mums been away to Malaga. Her souvenirs include 2 friendship bracelets. Apparently the nearby bar owners 6 year old daughter was selling homemade (obviously) friendship bracelets for 2 euros. My mum, being a soft touch, bought one. The next night she saw the kid selling some more, including one with a word on. The girl just shrugged when my mum asked what the word meant in English, so she guessed it meant something like 'queen' and the girl agreed. My mum spent the rest of the holiday with a bracelet that said 'QUESO' Quote
Members SuperBacon Posted July 6 Members Posted July 6 HEY MUM! HEY! HEY! LIKE A BIT OF QUESO ON DO YOU? Quote
Paid Members ReturnOfTheMack Posted July 6 Paid Members Posted July 6 34 minutes ago, SuperBacon said: HEY MUM! HEY! HEY! LIKE A BIT OF QUESO ON DO YOU? Honest to God, this is what went through my head. 😆 Quote
Paid Members Lion_of_the_Midlands Posted July 10 Paid Members Posted July 10 I've pretty much given up on going to a normal funeral now. The one I went to today was my brother in laws dad. The hearse kerbed a tyre and burst it on the way into the crematorium and they had to wheel the coffin from the entrance down quite a bit of a drive in 30 degree heat. The poor funeral directors were so embarrassed. Then during the eulogy the deceaseds brother told the Cliff Richard tits and fanny joke and did the Japanese accent. The only surprise was he didn't do the eyes. Then at the wake, where there was no booze the main talking point was the lady that no one knew who introduced herself to everyone by saying it was a shock that he'd died because they were planning on getting married in August. Bearing in mind that his wife had died in November last year, they had been married for 35 years and that his children and grandchildren have never met her and they all saw him regularly and he never mentioned her. So as you'd imagine things were a little tense. I just want to go to a boring funeral, just once. Quote
Members SuperBacon Posted July 10 Members Posted July 10 31 minutes ago, Lion_of_the_Midlands said: Then during the eulogy the deceaseds brother told the Cliff Richard tits and fanny joke and did the Japanese accent. The only surprise was he didn't do the eyes. This is mental behaviour in a eulogy. Fair play. Quote
Paid Members Gus Mears Posted July 10 Paid Members Posted July 10 How do you even shoehorn that into a eulogy? "If there's one thing my brother loved, it was the Cliff Richard's tits and fanny joke." Quote
davertfnewman Posted July 10 Posted July 10 (edited) Hopefully he pronounced it Criff Lichard to show full commitment to the racism. Edited July 13 by davertfnewman Quote
Paid Members Lion_of_the_Midlands Posted July 10 Paid Members Posted July 10 21 minutes ago, Gus Mears said: How do you even shoehorn that into a eulogy? "If there's one thing my brother loved, it was the Cliff Richard's tits and fanny joke." Were you there because that's pretty much it. Quote
Paid Members Statto Posted July 11 Paid Members Posted July 11 16 hours ago, Gus Mears said: How do you even shoehorn that into a eulogy? "If there's one thing my brother loved, it was the Cliff Richard's tits and fanny joke." That's a man who's been waiting his whole life for an audience. Quote
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