What's your family been up to now?

[Lion_of_the_Midlands]

All this talk of salads reminds me of my aunt Barbara, a woman who my aunt June used to describe as having a face like a hanged hare. I've never seen a hanged hare but I'm imaging long and miserable looking so June was not wrong. 

Barbara was known amongst the family for her tight nature, the sort of woman who would use one teabag between two people, so it came as a surprise when one year we were all invited around for tea one summer Sunday afternoon. I was about 4 at the time and you will be surprised to learn that even at that age I had a strong opinion about things. 

So we get there about 5pm. She has invited quite a few people so there is my nan and grandad, my mum an dad, me, my aunt Mary, and my aunt June and uncle Ron as well as Barbara and Gordon. 

So we get there and first we are given a cup of tea so weak it needed to be on life support, no sugar because they don't take sugar. It should be noted that Gordon would have 3 sugars when he came to our house but never mind. It should also be noted that the young me is already not happy about piss weak tea with no sugar. 

So we finish our tea and are invited into the dining room to eat. We go in and the table is laid out for each of us. It's a salad. Sort of. On each plate is one small lettuce leaf, half a tomato, one slice of cucumber, half a radish, a short piece of celery, perhaps three strands of cress, a quarter triangle of a slice of bread and a small amount of chicken. It turns out that Barbara and Gordon had had a 2lb roast chicken for lunch, they'd had a leg each, and the remainder was divided between us for tea. 

This was all to much for the young me, and I burst into tears and asked "Where is the food?" My nan sensing her chance to escape picks me up and says "The boy is not well I'll have to take him home" which meant my grandad got to escape as well because he had to drive us. The rest of them were fuming because they had to stay. It was only a short drive to my nans house and once I got a proper cup of tea I calmed down a bit. A couple of hours later everyone else turned up at my nans house and had the tea which she had prepared, because after the salad they got a piece of battenburg cake each, not a whole slice, one quarter, and another cup of tea, so they were all hungry. 

That story has been told by the family many times over the years, mainly to take the piss out of me for crying. No one could ever work out why Barbara was like that. They weren't short of money, Gordon was the manager of a timber company, she just didn't like spending it. It should also be noted that Gordon passed away in the most UKFF way possible, he had a heart attack out of nowhere whilst having a shit. I can only assume he wasn't sat on the porcelain. 

[deathrey]

I love that you needed a proper cup of tea to calm down at the tender age of 4!

[Chest Rockwell]

RIP Gordon, too tight to buy the prune juice he so desperately needed.

[BomberPat]

I've often said that until I left Yorkshire I didn't realise that not every meal came with bread and butter. Similarly, I don't think I ever had a salad at my Gran's house that didn't come with a massive single wedge of cheddar.

My parents never really cooked, it was all frozen food and tinned spaghetti, while my Gran made these enormous plates of food where everything was fried to within an inch of its life and absolutely drenched in oil. Massive sense memory of McCain's potato smiley faces absolutely oozing vegetable oil when you stuck a fork in them.

[Lion_of_the_Midlands]

14 minutes ago, deathrey said:

I love that you needed a proper cup of tea to calm down at the tender age of 4!

I drank a lot of tea until the age of 7, and I haven't had a single cup since. 

[SuperBacon]

26 minutes ago, Lion_of_the_Midlands said:

I drank a lot of tea until the age of 7, and I haven't had a single cup since. 

Same, I think I was on tea from about age 3, it was just something everyone drank in our house.

I remember when I met my Stepmum for the first time aged about 9 I think, and she was horrified that my Dad let have coffee and my stepsister, her daughter, didn't have one until she was 16.

To be fair to her, she lived in Italy for about 10 years so I can understand her not wanting to give an espresso to a kid, but a bit of Gold Blend isn't the same is it?

[DavidB6937]

I have no idea but my first cup of tea was during a convention in Milton Keynes around 2004 in John Lewis. We'd gone for lunch and my friend was tea obsessed so I gave in and I think I've had it pretty much every day since.

Don't know why that occupies space in my brain but I can't remember birthdays.

[gmoney]

I also drank tea and coffee from the age of about 3. Hard to imagine why I was an anxious, hyperactive child. 

[Bus Surfer]

I remember my Dad giving me a cup of milky tea as a young un which caused me to vomit violently into a suitcase full of Lego I was currently playing with. 

I only drink coffee now. 

[SuperBacon]

Just now, Bus Surfer said:

I remember my Dad giving me a cup of milky tea as a young un which caused me to vomit violently into a suitcase full of Lego I was currently playing with. 

I only drink coffee now. 

Ffs, I can't stop laughing at this sentence.

[BomberPat]

I don't think I ever drank or was offered tea as a kid. I started drinking coffee at 16, and I don't think I'd had more than a sip of a cup of tea before that. Various family members and family friends had given me booze before I ever had a tea or a coffee.

This is making me think of being maybe 13 and at a friend's place, saying that I had a headache, and being blown away that their response was to offer me painkillers. My parents would have never offered me that, and it just seemed mental to me as an immediate kneejerk response to a kid having a bit of a sore head.

[Carbomb]

I've gone in some weird circles regarding tea. Grew up with it as a kid, and also Mauritian vanilla tea as a matter of course, then got bored of the regular black tea and switched to coffee and green tea (Japan, innit). I really do love coffee.

But I've come to appreciate teas in general - whether it's matcha, green leaf, black, oolong, rooibos, it's all good. And I particularly love a karak or masala (particularly Badshahi) chai.

Recently found this recipe for a Yemeni version of karak, called adani chai - looks like it would particularly suit being iced as well.

 

[SuperBacon]

In case anyone wants to pop their tea or coffee thoughts in here: 

 

[Browser Brady]

My Dad passed a few weeks ago and left me his house. My brother went mental when i said i was “ not 100% sure but chances are i’ll sell it”. This was my honest opinion. I’ve two kids, a mortgage and a wife that has just been made redundant.

 

My brother told me that Dad said to him i was not to sell it, there is nothing in his will to indicate this. He said Dad was afraid that as soon as i sold it my wife would want to move away. I never told my wife this

 

My wife then gleefully suggested the other day that we should sell Dad’s house and move to Australia for a year with our two kids.  I told her i’m not keen and the timing is not great on this at the moment for such a big discussion.  She was upset over this.

So now, my only sibling is not talking to me and my wife is not talking to me when i feel like all i’ve done is be honest ….

 

Plus it’s less than a month since i held my father’s hand as he passed…

It feels like when i give my honest opinion it is not received well and ends up just causing hassle.

 

i feel like going and living in the woods by myself for a month.

 

[DavidB6937]

@Browser Brady firstly, sorry for your loss - incredibly difficult I know. And then to have all the family drama on top of that must be really challenging as you need your own time and space to grieve. It's far too early to even be having proper conversations about stuff like that. I know you've made a comment to your brother but it wasn't like you've gone into full blown discussions or anything.

I know it won't be easy but try and give yourself some space away from the drama and allow yourself to process what you need to process before even starting to consider anything else.