Paid Members air_raid 3,816 Posted January 11 Paid Members Report Share Posted January 11 I know there was a one-liner thread ages ago but it disappeared and I don’t remember any of them. What short, punchy jokes from movies and television made you laugh riotously? Context or character not required, if it takes more than two sentences it’s too long, if you have to explain the joke then it’s not what I’m after. The thread is prompted by my favourite line from Anchorman. Ron : Brick, before I let you go, are you still having your celebrity golf tournament? Brick : No, too many people died last year. What made you split your sides? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SuperBacon 8,545 Posted January 11 Report Share Posted January 11 (edited) "Get your Mum to say tomato" This Country. Edited January 11 by SuperBacon Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DJM 46 Posted January 11 Report Share Posted January 11 "I've Pierced My Foot On A Spike!" I'm Alan Partridge Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Paid Members Devon Malcolm 14,675 Posted January 11 Paid Members Report Share Posted January 11 From Doctor in the House (1954), the operation scene. James Robertson Justice: You! What's the bleeding time? Dirk Bogarde: 10 past 10. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
wordsfromlee 3,409 Posted January 11 Report Share Posted January 11 "Ah, wood! Nature's metal!" - From the movie Mystery Team One that is firmly stuck in my brain, but I have no idea where it's from and no amount of googling helps is: "This chirpy fella's known as Roger The Table. Why? Because he tried to once. As I recall it was a snooker table." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Paid Members Devon Malcolm 14,675 Posted January 11 Paid Members Report Share Posted January 11 @Astro Hollywood will be along shortly with the winner of this thread once he's been for a p. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lars85 210 Posted January 11 Report Share Posted January 11 God Eddie, you're so hard - Richard Richard Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gay as FOOK 1,570 Posted January 11 Report Share Posted January 11 (edited) "That's for John Lennon, ya yankee fucking cunt." - In Bruges It's Ray's dogged perception of the couple being American and eventual fallout. The whole thing breaks me. Edited January 11 by Gay as FOOK Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Keith Houchen 18,479 Posted January 11 Report Share Posted January 11 (edited) Who are you and how did you get in here? I’m a locksmith, and I’m a locksmith. Police Squad. Edited January 11 by Keith Houchen Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Paid Members waters44 586 Posted January 11 Paid Members Report Share Posted January 11 I’d bloody love her to be widowed Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Paid Members FelatioLips 2,613 Posted January 11 Paid Members Report Share Posted January 11 I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. Michael Scott in The Office (US) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Paid Members air_raid 3,816 Posted January 11 Author Paid Members Report Share Posted January 11 22 minutes ago, Devon Malcolm said: From Doctor in the House (1954), the operation scene. James Robertson Justice: You! What's the bleeding time? Dirk Bogarde: 10 past 10. Fantastic. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Chili 418 Posted January 11 Report Share Posted January 11 It's like, how much more black could this be? and the answer is none. None more black. Nigel Tufnel - This is Spinal Tap (1984) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Paid Members Hannibal Scorch 3,271 Posted January 11 Paid Members Report Share Posted January 11 13 minutes ago, Chili said: It's like, how much more black could this be? and the answer is none. None more black. Nigel Tufnel - This is Spinal Tap (1984) Ffs I was just going to post the amp going up to 11. ”Why don’t you make like a tree and get outta here” - Biff Tannon Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Paid Members JNLister 3,393 Posted January 11 Paid Members Report Share Posted January 11 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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