SuperBacon Posted July 30, 2021 Share Posted July 30, 2021 2 minutes ago, cobra_gordo said: There's one lad at workĀ that insists on using my full first name (Jonathan) instead of what I refer to myself as (Jon), even though I use Jon in my signature on all emails and 150+ other staff membersĀ callĀ me Jon. The only people that call me Jonathan are my nan, my mum when I'm getting a bollocking and this prick.Ā Start shaking his hand at the end of every shift. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members tiger_rick Posted July 30, 2021 Paid Members Share Posted July 30, 2021 11 hours ago, Chest Rockwell said: I've debated that in my head a number of times as a natural 'hey' user in spoken conversation. Generally I err on the side of caution as a result when written.. I'll only use it with people I'm more familiar with. So I guess if any of them are like you they just assume I'm an aggressive cunt now. I start mine with "Hey! Nothing you can say!"... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Tommy! Posted July 30, 2021 Paid Members Share Posted July 30, 2021 1 hour ago, cobra_gordo said: There's one lad at workĀ that insists on using my full first name (Jonathan) instead of what I refer to myself as (Jon), even though I use Jon in my signature on all emails and 150+ other staff membersĀ callĀ me Jon. The only people that call me Jonathan are my nan, my mum when I'm getting a bollocking and this prick.Ā I do that with someone and it's solely because they are shorting thier name to seem less middle class and are a cunt, so I know it irritates them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members air_raid Posted July 30, 2021 Paid Members Share Posted July 30, 2021 Work patter can be the worst. One cunt that thankfully got shitcanned in the Furlough Era created a template that included āI hope that you are wellā which is so clunky it makes my teeth hurt. Sadly about three others couldnāt be bothered making their own template so when I view clients on our CRM I see the phrase often and am reminded of that terrible piece of shit. 3 hours ago, Chest Rockwell said: I don't mind this one as it's a good shorthand way of saying "shut up and stop derailing the meeting, I'll talk to you about this later". It sounds wanky, but it's useful. I love when a middle manager uses that phrase and one of my level of expendable nobodies knows theyāre being called a twat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members gmoney Posted July 30, 2021 Paid Members Share Posted July 30, 2021 "Happy Friday" is a great one to get when you're shift based and have got a weekend full of work in front of you.Ā Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Houchen Posted July 30, 2021 Share Posted July 30, 2021 Some good candidates for the Daily Shithouse going on here! Proud of you! Ā My favourite thing with those management execuspeak cunts is beating them at their own game. They do it to create an us and them against the uneducated unwashed rabble to show theyāre better than us. When theyād pull that shit with me, I used to Gus Hedges the shit out of them. I know other have done this too, but Iād introduce terms based on wrestling initials and constantly use them again and again to the annoyance of everyone to see if theyād catch on. The people who worked theĀ 23:00 - 07:00 shift were always referred to as a night work operative, just so management might have to say āWe had the scale out due to be picked this morning but the nwo have already done halfā Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperBacon Posted July 30, 2021 Share Posted July 30, 2021 *Keith turning up in a senior management meeting unannounced* "You people, you know who I am....but you don't know why I'm here" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members gmoney Posted July 30, 2021 Paid Members Share Posted July 30, 2021 22 minutes ago, SuperBacon said: "You people, you know who I am....but you don't know why I'm here" It's usually the other way around in my experience.Ā Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members air_raid Posted July 30, 2021 Paid Members Share Posted July 30, 2021 1 hour ago, Keith Houchen said: When theyād pull that shit with me, I used to Gus Hedges the shit out of them. Ā Pop this in your thought percolater, see if it bubbles up! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Chest Rockwell Posted July 31, 2021 Moderators Share Posted July 31, 2021 I went through a phase of looking up card messages online and using the stupidest ones I could find. This backfired on me when I wrote a really sappy and saccharine message in this girls leaving card because I thought it was funny, and then it turned out she was just moving to another team in the same company and then thought I secretly fancied her the whole time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr_Danger Posted July 31, 2021 Share Posted July 31, 2021 As well as future endeavouring peopleĀ I always put kisses under other peopleās names on the group cards in work.Ā Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Tommy! Posted July 31, 2021 Paid Members Share Posted July 31, 2021 I once signed my own card in the office when it was passed to me to contribute.Ā "To Tommy, best of luck in the new job! From Tommy". It went around the other 2/3 rds of the office after and no one clocked it.Ā Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Statto Posted August 1, 2021 Paid Members Share Posted August 1, 2021 My mate Al just writes "Have a good one, Al" in every card that comes across his desk, assuming it's a birthday card and not bothering to check who it's for. Thus far it's made it into a couple of retirement cards (not too ill-fitting), several leaving cards (less so) and one unfortunate sympathy card. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members air_raid Posted August 1, 2021 Paid Members Share Posted August 1, 2021 Zipper going on the left hand side of a jacket/coat as worn. When did this begin, and how do I stop it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members gmoney Posted August 1, 2021 Paid Members Share Posted August 1, 2021 Sounds like you've bought a woman's jacket.Ā Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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