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2020 Posts of the Year


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1 hour ago, Astro Hollywood said:

There's a story in Bret's book about the WWF staying in a hotel in Liverpool on one of the European tours, where Spurs were booked in too. Both crews were drinking in the bar together, and there was a lot of banter about wrestling not being a real sport. It ended up kicking off, with Sid and Ahmed Johnson going mental, tipping tables over and threatening to punch Gary Mabbutt's eye straight. "I'm on the insulin!" he begged, but they lifted him up on Man Mountain Rock's shoulders for a Doomsday Device.

Suddenly Vinny Samways climbs up on the bar and undoes the top button of his jeans. The rest of the footballers immediately make a bolt for the exit, as they know what's coming. He doesn't even get the whole thing out, just the head. But it's enough. He peels back the foreskin, which makes this crinkling sound like ripping up old lino, and the fucking stink just floods the place. The WWF lads go down one after the other, and even the hard nuts like Haku and Paul Roma are left convulsing. Harvey Wippleman went blind for six months. I don't care how muscley you are, you're not fending off willy-stink with a takedown.

Diesel was the last to drop, because he's the tallest, so the pong took a bit longer to reach him. Bret quotes him in the book as saying "in all my years, I have never smelled a dick that rotten. Pee-yew!" before he face-planted.

 

Just what I needed to read today. Astro does it again

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chokeout with yet another piece of fried gold:  

It won't make sense by year's end but right now, this is excellent by @Lorne Malvo

Frankie is one of the great storytellers. The events described are vile but they are so very entertaining to read. 

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32 minutes ago, air_raid said:

Everyone’s already said it but LOD were an absolute powerhouse in the stardom stakes. It’s incredible how big a deal they were considering their first and famous run was barely two years on TV. Yes, they did great things everywhere else but you say “Road Warriors” to a casual and they’ll think Mad Max or nothing. “Legion of Doom” stands next to Hulk Hogan, Bulldog and Jake The Snake next to all the names that kids who grew out of it when their balls dropped still remember.

My first exposure to wrestling involved LOD. I was at my mate Gareth’s house and I don’t know whether it was the Albert Hall tape or on telly but what I remember was a Rockers vs  Nasty Boys match and the fellas in red with spikes. Later as my interest grew round my mate Simons house, just prior to my lend of Mania VI, I saw LOD in his huge collection of black pre-SummerSlam and yellow post-SummerSlam trading cards, and then his sadly curtailed Hasbro collection, which went LOD vs Nasty Boys, Undertaker then, errr, Virgil. The Ghostbusters figures got plenty of run outs in his fed. Of course his LOD Hasbro lost their black spikes like plenty of peoples seem to. I simply never bashed mine into others with enough force. I ended up ruining them anyway by painting their red pads black with acrylic paint, but later acquired replacements for both Hawk and Animal who both still have all their spikes. But I digress.

My second wrestling tape watched ever was Survivors 90, and watching these boys come out to team with Warrior and Texas Tornado won me over in seconds. Later on as a smark I’d deride the PPV for the number of cheap eliminations but as a child, them not being beaten in the match and ejected for being TOO VIOLENT made them unstoppable beasts. By the end of the same weekend I’d seen Survivors 91 and watched them as tag champions beat IRS and the Natural Disasters(!) by themselves. Job done, I was a fan. Their contribution to SummerSlam 91, the second best tape from 1991 and one of the best WWF shows ever, is similarly note perfect, and if you forgive the non-finish they achieve a very entertaining match with the Disasters at Rumble 92.

I’ll be honest ; there are a few acts that didn’t translate the best when going to the WWF from somewhere else but LOD weren’t one. The subtle changes to their act were all worth it. Obviously Iron Man was a non-starter but in comparison to their WWF tune, I don’t have it as the clear winner like many do. OK, Iron Man gave a great sense of foreboding doom for jobbers on old NWA tv but the adrenaline produced by a crowd going mental from an LOD entrance during the bright colours and cocaine Silver Vision glory days, I consider unmatched, and it was a worthy successor in the “Oh SHIT” stakes to “Here comes the Ax.... here comes the Smasher...” Speaking of Demolition, giving them the bright red shoulder pads to instantly distinguish them from Demolition, The Powers of Pain and every other black leather-clad knock off that had entered the marketplace was a stroke of genius. Between the Hasbros, the shoulder pads, the T-shirt and the wrestling buddies, they had the best merchandise after Hogan. Absolute stars, and I loved them.

It was a shame they weren’t maximised in 1997 or 1998. I should have known things weren’t going to plain sailing on the first night back when they weren’t even allowed to put a pin on The Headbangers in front of a Manhattan Centre obviously pleased to see them. They were treated like chumps several times on their way to EVENTUALLY winning the belts which took way too long. There’s an alternate universe where Steve Austin has a blow off with Bret at SummerSlam and Owen and Smithers do the honours clean for LOD for the belts but that would have been a bit too “happy ending” for 1997. They were a victim of timing twice, firstly by having their balls cut off when the office decided to run with the Outlaws, then after coming back with a refreshed look and Sunny(!) they still didn’t get their heat back when the office decided DX would get turned and the Outlaws weren’t heel chickenshits waiting patiently for their execution. People say they were washed up but at the time I still wanted them to be on top again.

As for Animal specifically, he was great. I never consider either him or Hawk inferior in terms of entertainment, intensity or enjoyment watching them in the ring. Every Animal match you knew you’d get a great drop kick for a chunk of muscle, a shoulder block which absolutely shit on Warriors, and a cracking deep scoop powerslam which I always fake remember him eliminating people from Survivors matches with. Absolute brick shithouse, threw smaller guys around with ease, and great fun whenever he collided with chunkier lads like the Samoans, Steiners or Disasters. Underrated in the strength department and even though it wasn’t LOD, I’d have loved to see his team with Crush get a chance on TV in 1992 after Hawk went AWOL. It’s a tragic byproduct of his era that when I heard he’d died at the age of 60, instead of thinking what sad news, I was impressed he’d made that number given he’d lived through all the steroids and coke. Following Hawk around for so many years can’t have been good for him either. Always seemed a nice bloke on the DVDs, indelible influence on tag wrestling (stating the obvious) and I’m happy I got to see a Doomsday Device in person as a kid. Rest in peace Animal, thanks for all the powerslams.

TELL EM HAWK!

Lovely LOD tribute by @air_raid in the Animal thread.

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