Trivial Things That Annoy You...

[Slapnut]

5 minutes ago, Gus Mears said:

I'm sat at a lone table in a row of about 10 in a pub having a wonderful pint after a busy day. Four people have sat on the table immediately next to me and have proceeded to have a loud and boring conversation. Why? We are sitting in a veritable forest of free tables, why that one next to me?

The exact same thing happens when I have a poo in an otherwise empty toilet.

[Gus Mears]

1 minute ago, Slapnut said:

The exact same thing happens when I have a poo in an otherwise empty toilet.

That's dire. One of my nominations from earlier in the thread was similarly people at work who decide to go for the middle urinal of three at work. It's like you're actively looking for flecks of piss or the smell of turds. Lunacy. 

[Guest]

Four people taking the adjacent table is bad enough, but squeezing into the adjacent toilet stall is madness.

[TildeGuy~!]

I read somewhere today that feminists have complained and got Kleenex to rename their mansize tissues and female celebrities are boycotting Disney due to princesses being in distress in their earlier films. 

Which moves me onto...

Mothercare being called Mothercare.  Let’s fucking have at it and go against the feminists.

[Chunk]

On 10/15/2018 at 8:46 PM, SpursRiot2012 said:

People at work who treat Halloween as though it's a thing for grown adults. They spend about a week putting up the decorations and then, on the day, you just know exactly which prick is going to come in in full Halloween regalia. And then have a little dig about you "not getting into the spirit of it.' Fuck off, mate. This isn't the US and you aren't a "right laugh."

This applies to British people in general, not just adults. Same goes for Black Friday. Why did we all start pretending that's a thing ... it aint'!

[Porkchopcash]

The UK follows America.

You watch all their shite tv box sets, watch their wrestling, watch their boxing, watch their mma, watch their baseball, football, shite adult based cartoons, eat massive sized portions of food, become obese, wear baseball caps with NY on them......then you moan about people copying them for Halloween? 

[Guest]

1 hour ago, TildeGuy~! said:

I read somewhere today that feminists have complained and got Kleenex to rename their mansize tissues and female celebrities are boycotting Disney due to princesses being in distress in their earlier films.

Then you misread, or you read some numpty's mistelling of the story.

The two celebs in question are simply choosing not to show their young daughters two specific Disney films, because of old fashioned values in them that don't really hold up in more enlightened times.

It's not a big deal and nothing to get the anti-feminist torches out over.

[Devon Malcolm]

3 hours ago, TildeGuy~! said:

I read somewhere today that feminists have complained and got Kleenex to rename their mansize tissues and female celebrities are boycotting Disney due to princesses being in distress in their earlier films. 

Which moves me onto...

Mothercare being called Mothercare.  Let’s fucking have at it and go against the feminists.

You really should stick to making up football gossip, you're terrible at this meninist ranting.

[Keith Houchen]

Paradoxically, doesn't that make a good meninist though?

[Briefcase]

On 17 October 2018 at 11:22 AM, BomberPat said:

A post elsewhere reminded me that I could have a whole thread of these about flight/airport annoyances.

I take, on average, one return flight a month, but at busy times I've had something like six flights in eight days or something preposterous like that. 

Airports are dreadful, and being effectively trapped in one location with no real control over my own schedule means that I'm going to already have a higher baseline level of irritation than I ordinarily would, and that everything is going to piss me off. The following are reliably going to happen every fucking time;

• Someone will, invariably, come up and sit in the Quiet Zone at Gatwick and start watching something on their phone without headphones, having a loud phone conversation, or just having a screaming kid with them. No one will have words with them, because people who sit in the Quiet Zone aren't the most assertive folk in the world in the first place. Besides, snitches get stitches.
   
• Wheely suitcases. Anyone with a wheely suitcase immediately loses all sense of spatial awareness, and will start cutting in front of you in queues for escalators etc., seemingly oblivious to the chunk of metal and plastic between themselves and you. Especially egregious in the narrow aisles of one of Gatwick's ever-growing number of WH Smithses.
   
• Airport security. Not the security itself, but idiots at security. 
  I have a travel washbag. In it, all my travel toiletries are kept permanently in a see-through plastic bag. When my bag is packed, the washbag is at the top. This means that I can get to them quickly, and not have to root around unpacking my bag to separate them at security. I also make sure I wear shoes I won't have to remove at security, and dress so that, at most, I'll only have to remove a jacket and a belt. All of this is designed to make my, and everybody else's, life easier. It seems like common sense.
  So why, every time I fly, do I end up stuck behind someone weighed down with metal jewelry, in lace-up boots that have to go through the scanner and take an age to remove, and who have packed eighteen bottles of water and a jar of homemade jam in their cabin bag? And why do they always act as if it's a shocking turn of events that they're not allowed to take these things through, like it hasn't just been how air travel works for the better part of twenty years, and there aren't signs everywhere telling you, and announcements every ten seconds.
  Then, at the other side of security, you've got to wait forever because everyone in front of you is meticulously removing every item from the tray one at a time, getting re-dressed, holding up the queue while you wait for your stuff to come through. All while security staff are shouting "PLEASE LIFT UP THE WHOLE TRAY" right in their ears.
   
• The shuttle bus at Gatwick Airport. I hate it. Irrationally. So much that annoys me about air travel is the frustration of not being in control - just being shuffled around from place to place, having somewhere to be but having no power over how long it takes you to get there, nothing you can do will prevent delays, nothing you do will get you on the plane any faster, or get the plane moving when it's been sat motionless on the runway for half an hour.
  So the point when you get off the plane feels liberating - that's when I can power-walk straight through baggage reclaim, fully in control once again, and make my way to my destination. Grab your bag, get off the plane as soon as you can, and get on your way. Which is why it's so fucking annoying to get off the plane, and be confronted by this shitty little bus. Because just when you thought you were in control again, no, here's somewhere else for you to sit and wait for everyone else to get off the plane, taking their sweet time, and then slowly trundle round to a tiny door that you're already going to try and cram yourselves through at once.

Adding to this. Those new eye scanner things that have replaced passport control. It doesn't matter what line you get into, you can guarantee to be stuck behind somebody who cannot get through it/use it properly. I'm all for technology but do think it slows some things down as well.

Two other things are people taking ages at a cashpoint - It's meant to be quick & instant and you got people there for minutes.

And petrol stations - People who buy everything BUT petrol in the shop, instant scratch-cards, cigarettes, weekly shop etc. I just want to pay for my petrol and go, not wait 5-10 minutes in the queue. Some countries in Europe do it right in that someone fills the car up with petrol and you pay them. Saves all this hassle. I know some petrol pumps have card payments at the pump too.

But again its the American system of selling anything and everything. I wouldn't even mind but petrol station prices aren't cheap either.

[SpursRiot2012]

7 hours ago, Porkchopcash said:

The UK follows America.

You watch all their shite tv box sets, watch their wrestling, watch their boxing, watch their mma, watch their baseball, football, shite adult based cartoons, eat massive sized portions of food, become obese, wear baseball caps with NY on them......then you moan about people copying them for Halloween? 

Yeah, I literally only only do one of those things and that's watching their TV shows.

[air_raid]

22 minutes ago, SpursRiot2012 said:

Yeah, I literally only only do one of those things and that's watching their TV shows.

Condescending to the less fortunate is pretty American too.

[PJ Power]

10 hours ago, Porkchopcash said:

The UK follows America.

You watch all their shite tv box sets, watch their wrestling, watch their boxing, watch their mma, watch their baseball, football, shite adult based cartoons, eat massive sized portions of food, become obese, wear baseball caps with NY on them......then you moan about people copying them for Halloween? 

You could replace "UK" with near enough any random western country and aside from a couple of exceptions you'd be right again.

[tiger_rick]

I do hardly any of those things Porkchopcash mentions but I still think it's a fair point. We take loads of things from American culture but seemingly pick and choose what to mock because it's just not British.

Halloween is a funny one because we'll commit but not much. My kids want to decorate the house. Told them to get fucked (politely). The little one suggested a party. Told her no chance. But I've already forked out for costumes, sweets and a pumpkin.

When I was a kid (cue Hovis music), we'd try trick or treating. Making a massive effort with your "costume" meant buying a mask for 99p to go with your parka. 50% of people wouldn't answer the door and another 30% would tell us to piss off (not politely). Some would give us a 20p or something to bugger off. One little old lady always had sweets in. We used to think she was a tight bastard. That lady was ahead of the curve.

[Accident Prone]

Halloween over here lacks the traditions and customs that America has ingrained in itself. It's a massive event over there, to the point where some people claim they prefer it to Christmas.

All we've taken from it is the fancy dress aspect, and even then it's just an opportunity for adults to wear outfits whilst getting sloshed on the weekend. Trick Or Treating still isn't a thing, no matter how many parents/kids will tell you otherwise.

When the road outside your house resembles a busy playground, then you can say Halloween is a thing. When it's normal to decorate your house and garden with Halloween decor with the same enthusiasm as you would do so for Christmas, then we have achieved proper Halloween. Over here, it lacks the organic spirit and creativeness that are yank cousins revel in. It's one custom that they have better that us.

Personally, I'm all for it. But it requires organisation and the support of the local community to really get behind it. The police need to be on patrol, people need to be game for their door being knocked on twenty times, the parents need to be okay with sending their kids out into the night to knock stranger's doors, people need to be game for what the night brings.

Just like block parties, built-in closets, larger cars, larger houses, melted butter popcorn, built-in swimming pools, no guaranteed paid vacations, university loyalty, no free health care, guns, the fall, asinine lawsuits, college sports, obesity, mashed potatoes at KFC, blind patriotism, Thanksgiving, making a turn at a red light, hot tubs and circumcision, Halloween is simply an American mainstay that some Brits want but don't know how to properly implement.

Edited October 19, 2018 by Accident Prone